The Best 66 Christmas Gifts Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Christmas Gifts jokes. There are some christmas gifts gift jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these christmas gifts christmas card puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Christmas Gifts Jokes and Puns

I am one bottle of shower gel away from being able to open my own Christmas gift shop in my shower.

I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.

Larry was not a good gift giver.

Every time he gave his wife a gift for Christmas, her birthday, or their anniversary, she complained about what a sucky gift it was. She was starting to get angry.
"Larry, the next time you give me a bad gift, I will light it on fire!"
A week later was Larry's wife's birthday. She came down to see only one small box. She sighed and went to go get a lighter. She opened up the present. It was a candle.

A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...

HEY! So what did you get for Christmas? The second little boy pauses and says well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?

The first little boy excitedly replies Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can't believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt! to which the second little boy replies well…at least I don't have cancer…

jokes about christmas gifts

I received a rolex for Christmas from the lesbian couple who live next door.

Now, while I am happy with the gift, I guess they didn`t quite understand what I meant when I told them, "I wanna watch".


Red-nosed Rudolph was hit by a 747 and a flock of seagulls on Christmas Eve during a gift delivery over Barcelona

The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane

(Courtesy of Colin Mochrie)

Christmas gift

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe; she fakes it with Ken."

Cemetery Plot for Christmas

One Christmas time, an elderly woman opens her present from her son-in-law and discovers a cemetery plot inside. Despite the confusion, she thanks him very much for the gift.

The following Christmas, she approaches her son-in-law and asks where her present is. He simply replies that he didn't get one for her.

"Why not?! You always get me a gift..."

"Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year!!"

Kentucky Christmas

What is the worst part of being a kid in Kentucky at Christmas? Only having one set of grandparents buying you gifts.

My sister is gifting me some rain forest this Christmas...

Is it possible to hire some local loggers or will I have to travel to Brazil and cut it down myself?

Why was Kanye's Christmas gift to Kim spoiled?

Because he's a bad wrapper

You can explore christmas gifts santas reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean christmas gifts yule dad jokes. There are also christmas gifts puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas.

It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. When the mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?" the husband says, "You haven't used the one I got you last year!"

A hooker is a lot like a Christmas gift...

It's fun to unwrap, but you never know what you're gonna get.

What's the worst gift to give to a Jewish person on Christmas?

Literally anything.

A son asks his father

Son: Dad, what do I give my
girlfriend as a Christmas gift?

Dad : How does she look?

Son: She looks sweet, pretty, fun to be with, and even tall and also fair in complexion.

Dad : Give her my number.

If your friend is into BDSM...

Should you get them a gag gift for Christmas?

My girlfriend wants a Christmas Gift she can wear...

I'm going to give her a facial.

I forgot :(

Whilst climbing in the roof space to get down the kids Christmas gifts, I found a present I'd forgotten last year.

Such a shame - they would have loved that puppy.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.


Got my mother in law a cemetery plot for Christmas once, and the next year didn't buy her anything. When she asked me why I didn't buy a gift for her I said.....

... because you still haven't used the one I got you last year.

Mom, why am I getting Christmas gifts in July?

Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.

How to start a fight

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

People question the Christmas present I got for my mother

They say a fridge is a terrible gift when she already has one. But when I saw here face light up upon opening it, all doubts where gone.

My new girl friend is always saying Christmas gifts should be "personal". So I was disappointed to discover...

...my whole family named on the court order.

Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas

Eminessence and Marshal Lathers.

So you think your Christmas gift was bad? I got a Bonnie Tyler Sat Nav

It keeps telling me to "turn around" and every now and then it falls apart...

I told my Chinese friend that I like homemade gifts....

So for Christmas he gave me an iPhone, iPad and an iMac.

Putting all this paper on the gifts I bought everyone this Christmas season made me realize something..

I'm almost a worse wrapper than Lil Wayne

I tried wrapping Christmas presents..

But I just didn't have the gift


I give my family the best gift there is to give every Christmas.

I give them the gift of giving.. presents to me.

Just in time for Christmas, the gift for people who like peace and quiet...

...a phoneless cord.

What gift do you get for someone that's in a dark place this Christmas?

A flashlight.

I had to take back all the home-made gifts I gave out for Christmas this year...

Apparently my Wife didn't like the idea everyone having a copy of our sex tape.

My friend and I had a deal that we would buy sucky gifts for each other on Christmas.

He got me an empty bottle of whisky.

I got him a vacuum cleaner.

Who won? who lost?
you decide


The perfect gift for somebody who is always complaining that they have no money to buy gifts for all their kids at Christmas...

A box of condoms.

I ground up my ctrl key and gift wrapped it. The card reads:

This is ground ctrl.
TO: Major Tom


(Merry Christmas David Bowie!)

In London this Christmas one in 5 children will not get a gift from Santa

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas dinner with their parents

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas tree in their house

This is not a message from the Salvation Army or unicef for you to donate

One in every 5 kids in London is a Muslim and they don't celebrate Christmas

Why was the letter E the only letter to get Christmas gifts?

Because all the other letters were "not E"

A broken drum is the best gift for Christmas

You just can't beat it.

On the other hand, a wife would be the worst gift because you definitely can...

Santa comes to the White House....

Santa arrives at the White House and hands Donald Trump his Christmas present. Trump excitedly tears open his gift then looks up at Santa in shock. "What?", Santa exclaims. "I thought you LOVED coal.

My Chinese roommate and I decided to give each other homemade christmas gifts this year!

I'm hoping for an iPad!

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, why am I getting a Christmas gift in August?"

The mom answers:

\- Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.

A blind person gets a cheese grater as a Christmas gift from a friend.

A week passes and he calls his friend and says to him : " That's one of the most violent books i've ever read".

Christmas!!!

Q: Why dont Chinese people believe in Santa Claus.

A: Cuz they make the gifts....

If you think of everything in life as a gift: every day is like Christmas. . .

With the relative learning how to knit.

I gave my friend gifts of gold and frankincense last Christmas

It'll keep him coming back for myrrh

Sorry kids, you won't get your Christmas gifts in time this year.

Santa is with Amazon Logistics now.

I'm looking forward to saving a lot of money on gifts this Christmas.

I plan on taking politics tomorrow night.

After a few hours of meaningful conversation, a prostitute asked Santa

what Christmas gift he would like to get if he were to receive one.

Without hesitation, Santa answered: Ho Ho Ho

How does Snoop give Eminem a Christmas gift?

Gangsta wrapped.

My wife always complains I buy crappy Christmas gifts. So I got her a Tourette's Alarm clock.

She is in for a rude awakening.

I bought my wife a gift for Christmas and hid it in the perfect spot, a place she would never look.

I put it in her lingerie drawer.

You know what I want for Christmas?

Santa. Then I can get as many gifts as I want.

My wife said to me that if i got another stupid gift this Christmas , she would burn it

So, i brought her a candle

It's Christmas. TIL Santa Clause really hate gay people.

Ever since I told my family I'm gay, I haven't have any christmas gifts.

I was wondering when I should open my Christmas gifts this year

But really there's no time like the present

what is something you can give out as a Christmas gift but still able to keep it at the same time?

flu

Why are Carpenters the easiest to get Christmas gifts for?

All they want for Christmas is Yew.

When Jesus was given his gifts by the wise men...

Were they birthday presents or Christmas presents?

Two brothers open their gifts on Christmas Day...

Two brothers, Jack and Charlie, open their gifts on Christmas Day, only to find that Jack has been spoiled with everything he ever wanted. Seeing his brother so jealous, Jack is basking in his smugness.

_Jack:_ I got so many gifts, I don't even know where to keep them!

_Charlie:_ Was cancer on your letter to Santa?

My parents' Christmas gift for me.

When Christmas day arrived, I was so excited to open my gifts that I woke up before my alarm. I went down stairs and opened a thin, rectangular box. It was a book! The title read, Anti-gravity. I read that book the whole day as I couldn't put it down.

Christmas night

One night as santa was doing his usual job of putting gifts under the Christmas tree a kid woke up and asked Santa
"Santa? Why are your sacks so big?"
"Because i come once a year"

This year, I'm going to save money on Christmas gifts

by bringing up politics during Thanksgiving dinner.

What is a Christmas gift’s favorite type of music?

Wrap.

Unused Christmas present.

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift,The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.


She asked me: Why,?

I replied. "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

I made an IRL dad joke a few weeks back...

and it may be my crowning achievement.

We did a delayed Christmas at the in-laws a few weekends back (COVID happened) and my FIL is the kind of jokester that does things like wrap one boot in one present for his wife and the other boot in another.

Mom-in-Law says, "look at him, stretching one gift into two...."

Father-in-law then opens a gift from her and it's a winter vest. Without missing a beat I say, "look who's stretching gifts now, where's the box with the sleeves!?"

I never post so I had to build karma before sharing but hopefully it was worth the wait!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the christmas gifts christmas anti jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working christmas gifts christmas bonus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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