Christmas Dinner Jokes

62 christmas dinner jokes and hilarious christmas dinner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about christmas dinner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Christmas Dinner Short Jokes

Short christmas dinner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The christmas dinner humour may include short thanksgiving dinner jokes also.

  1. Despite the pandemic, my family decided to get together for a big dinner this Christmas The food was bad though, didn't taste like anything
  2. With everything so expensive this year, it could be just German sausage and cheese for Christmas dinner. But that's a Wurst-Käse scenario.
  3. I was at Christmas dinner with my family and I asked my Grandfather what he does for a living... My Mother replied, "I'm a ventriloquist."
  4. This year, I'm going to save money on Christmas gifts by bringing up politics during Thanksgiving dinner.
  5. I made a traditional German dessert for this years' Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, it was stollen.
  6. What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner? The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
  7. This year, my family and I are having a 'Brexit-themed' Christmas dinner... It's the same as a regular Christmas dinner, but without the Brussels.
  8. I don't think I'll attend Christmas dinner this year. My wife gave me a haircut this morning, and now she said she's going to make Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.
  9. Over Christmas dinner, I accidentally let it slip I'd lied about my degree in biology. Me and my big face-hole thingy.
  10. Christmas dinner jokes !!!! What do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner? About 5 minutes.

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Christmas Dinner One Liners

Which christmas dinner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with christmas dinner? I can suggest the ones about christmas party and dinner.

  1. Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU? Because there is no Turkey
  2. Have you heard about the Brexit Christmas dinner? It doesn't have Brussels
  3. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels!
  4. Why should Bo never cook dinner on Christmas? Because he always Burnham
  5. Why is Christmas dinner at Santa's always a buffet? Because it is elf-service
  6. My dad's addicted to christmas dinner But he's been cold turkey every meal since.
  7. Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  8. Christmas dinner in my house will never be the same after Brexit No Brussels.
  9. Christmas Dinner What never eats at Christmas dinner? The turkey! Its stuffed!!
  10. TIFU by eating the sandwich meant for my vegan cousin at Christmas dinner Oops wrong sub
  11. For Christmas my wife wants a stuffed turkey for dinner I bought her a plush turkey toy.
  12. What do you call Pharaoh's annual Christmas Eve waffle dinner? Yule Brinner.
  13. The King and I always have breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve We call it Yule Brinner.
  14. Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  15. Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!

Cheerful Fun Christmas Dinner Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about christmas dinner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roast dinner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make christmas dinner pranks.

A 17 year old male walks into a drug store.

He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean"
Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying walks to the door, stops, smiles, comes back: "you know what, the mom is also smoking hot, I think I'll take another pack, just in case I get extra lucky."
Christmas eve comes around, the boy sits at the dinner table and doesn't say a word. After a while his girlfriend says: "if I had known you were so quiet, I wouldn't have invited you." the young man replies "if you had told me your dad works at a drug store, I wouldn't have come."

I once saw the guy from fleetwood Mac pre-ordering his Christmas dinner

It was Lindsey booking ham

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

So I asked my dad...

So I asked my dad during Christmas dinner if anything were home made?
He replied "definitely not you."

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.
My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."
Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"
Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.

What did the hobo eat for christmas dinner?


My doctor advised me to avoid my usual calorific Christmas dinner; he even joked that I should get rid of my oven.

So Im going cold turkey.

Q: What did the mathematician say when he finished his christmas dinner?

A: root -1/ root 64 (I over 8)

Bringing her home to meet mother

I told my new girlfriend that my mother was very hard of hearing and that she should speak loud and slow. I told my mother that my girlfriend was mentally challenged and to please be polite.
I'm looking forward to Christmas dinner.

In London this Christmas one in 5 children will not get a gift from Santa

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas dinner with their parents
One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas tree in their house
This is not a message from the Salvation Army or unicef for you to donate
One in every 5 kids in London is a Muslim and they don't celebrate Christmas

A son is asked to lead the family in a Christmas prayer at dinner

BOY: But I don't know how to pray
DAD: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc.
BOY: "Dear Lord" he started "Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again. Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor n**... ladies on my daddy's Blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work.

The dark chocolate cake we had at Christmas dinner was so unbelievably rich ...

... it actually benefitted from the Republican tax plan.

I'm afraid I may have s**... up Christmas dinner

The roast pork was crackle-lacking.

Christmas Dinner with the inlaws

Me: Don't forget you're eating for two.
Mother\-in\-law (hopeful): You mean...
Wife: Yep, I've got a tapeworm!

Christmas traditions

Guy 1: hey what are you going to do on the Christmas holidays?
Guy2: family dinner, you?
Guy2 1: the same... Gets less every year...

I'm so disappointed. I bought dessert for a traditional German Christmas dinner.

But it was stollen.

Little Johnny wore his Halloween costume to Christmas dinner.

Dad allowed it since oct(31) = dec(25)

If Uncle Chet hits on Uncle Bobby's wife at Christmas dinner, what do you get?

Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire.

I surprised my family today and made the Christmas dinner from scratch.

They started crying.
Scratch is a s**... name for a cat anyway...

Farmer sez to the turkey...

Yes, we're having you for Christmas dinner.
No, you don't need to bring wine.

Your mommy is such a h**... that for Christmas dinner she invites...

Her most frequent and best paying client.

Jesus's favorite gun

My uncle is a member of the NRA. He came over for the Christmas dinner wearing a shirt with Jesus on it. I noticed his shirt and complimented it.
He then took his jacket off and showed me the back. On it, Jesus was holding a PK in one hand and an AK-47 on the other. Above it was text that reads "What would Jesus shoot?" That question was a no brainer. I answered "a nail gun."
I don't know why he got mad. Jesus was a carpenter.

jokes about christmas dinner