Christmas Card Jokes

25 christmas card jokes and hilarious christmas card puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about christmas card that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Christmas Card Short Jokes

Short christmas card jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The christmas card humour may include short valentine card jokes also.

  1. I ground up my ctrl key and gift wrapped it. The card reads: This is ground ctrl.
    TO: Major Tom

    (Merry Christmas David Bowie!)
  2. Ordered some Christmas presents online the other day and used my donor card instead of my debit card. Cost me an arm and a leg.
  3. Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on Christmas Day. It wasn't his actual birthday, but he wasn't going to tell Chuck Norris that.
  4. I've not received any cards from my Ethiopian friends this year Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
  5. I just opened a Christmas card and a yorkshire pudding fell out.. Gotta love my Auntie Bessie
  6. Received a christmas card todah, inside there was nothing but grains of rice. It was from Uncle Ben.
  7. I thought I would be proud of sealing all the Christmas cards myself But the whole ordeal just left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
  8. An old married couple talk s**.... Wife: What ever happened to our s**... relations?
    Husband: I don't know, they don't even send Christmas cards anymore.

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Christmas Card One Liners

Which christmas card one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with christmas card? I can suggest the ones about valentines day card and birthday card.

  1. All I got for Christmas was a pack of sticky cards. It was difficult to deal with.
  2. What do Elon Musk's Christmas cards say? "Tesla season to be jolly!"
  3. Got a christmas card with rice in it It was from uncle ben
  4. Just opened a Christmas card and some rice fell out Classic Uncle Ben
  5. Just opened a Christmas card and rice fell out... ...must have been from my uncle Ben.
  6. Why were Jeremy Corbyn's Christmas cards on the floor? His cabinet collapsed
  7. Got a Christmas card from an eggs benedict... It read, "Happy Hollandaise".
  8. There are only 10 bad people in the world.. And i get Christmas cards from 9 of them.

The Funniest Christmas Card Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about christmas card you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean valentines cards jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make christmas card pranks.

A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...

HEY! So what did you get for Christmas? The second little boy pauses and says well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?
The first little boy excitedly replies Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can't believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt! to which the second little boy replies well…at least I don't have cancer…

Its still christmas time

I really appreciate how some people still give gifts to poor guys on the street, even after christmas.
For example yesterday I saw someone giving his credit card and 5k$ to a guy who only had a knife...

Stamping out intolerance

A woman walks into the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
What denomination? asks the shop assistant.
Oh, good heavens. Have we really come to this? says the woman. I guess I'll take 50 Catholic and 50 Anglican.