Christie Jokes
48 christie jokes and hilarious christie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about christie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
In this article, explore Christie jokes from Governor Chris Christie's comedic banter with Hillary Clinton over Benghazi, to quips made by WAGatha Christie and Governor John Kasich. Enjoy these humorous remarks as you delve into this collection of Christie jokes.
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Funniest Christie Short Jokes
Short christie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The christie humour may include short chris christie jokes also.
- I saw a single set of footprints in the sand... "Lord," I asked, "why is there but one set of footprints in the sand?"
"My child," he tenderly replied, "Those are Chris Christie's." - Q.: "Governor, what would you say if Trump picked you as his running mate?" Christie: "I'll close down that bridge when I get to it."
- What did the beached whale say to Chris Christie? Well, looks like we both know how to empty a beach, huh?
- Agatha Christie Agatha Christie would write one mystery novel after another without pause until her arms ached.
She was diagnosed with Marple tunnel syndrome. - As well as exercise equipment, Christie Brinkley is now doing advertising for a bicycle parts company. She's their new spokes model.
- Chris Christie asked his staff... If they thought his image would recover from beach-gate.
They told him "Fat chance!" - Chris Christie's name... Is so dumb to me. It's just the male and female version of the same name. Like
Eric Erica
Daniel Danielle
or Bruce Caitlyn - Analysts are suprised Chris Christie ran for president in the first place They thought he'd walk
- So I heard Chris Christie is delving into sports radio... It would give all those people stuck on the bridge something to listen to.
- There was just an assassination attempt against Donald Trump... the terrorists found out that he was going to be appearing with Chris Christy and they replaced his bronzer with BBQ sauce.
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Christie One Liners
Which christie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with christie? I can suggest the ones about governor and president.
- Chris Christie is so fat, he plans on walking for president.
- What do you call a chicken that writes mystery novels? Eggatha Christie
- Chris Christie stopped running... Go figure
- How did Chris Christie win office? No one knows. He certainly never runs.
- Why is Chris Christie such a successful man? Because he is too big to fail.
- Chris Christie's Favorite New Dessert??? Impeach Cobbler
- Did you hear about the new Chris Christie biopic? "Life of Pie."
- Chris Christies mom told him to run. She didn't mean for president though...
- When Mary found out she was pregnant was it a miracle? Or a Christ-is?
Merry Christmas! - Why is Chris Christie so sad? Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars.
- Why did Agatha Christie always wear so much rouge? I don't know; it was a red herring
- Where do dolphins love to swim when they are in the state of Texas? Porpoise Christi
- Chris Christie's so fat... He takes up the whole beach.
- Three people walk into a room two of them are Chris Christie.
- What does this relationship have in common with Chris Christie? It's not working out.
Chris Christie Jokes
Here is a list of funny chris christie jokes and even better chris christie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I asked Chris Christie if he was going to run for president in 2020 He said he'd cross that bridge when he got there.
- I was trying to decide on a good Chris Christie joke to tell at the party tonight... ...then I decided I would cross that bridge when I come to it.
- The reason Chris Christie didn't get into the Cabinet came out today He'd rather be in the Pantry.
- Right now there's speculations as to whether Chris Christie will be part of the cabinet.... .... or stealing snacks from it.
- What is the difference between Donald Trump and Chris Christie? When things go south,Trump burns bridges, Christie just shuts them down.
- Chris Christie is running for president... craziest thing he's done since he let Leia strangle him.
- The good news for New Jersey, now that Donald Trump is president... ...Chris Christie will step down as governor to become the Secretary of Transportation.
- Donald Trump's gut was to go with Chris Christie for VP, ...but Chris Christie's gut had already gone for the buffet.
- Why did Chris Christie endorse Donald Trump? Christie wants the highest cabinet position possible because he knows - the higher cabinet is where they keep all the cookies!
- What is Chris Christie's favorite tv show? Not *The Bridge*.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Christie Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about christie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean impeachment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make christie pranks.
Hall pass
My wife is really not too bright. We have this system where we have what's called a "hall pass" where you get to have s**... with any two people in the whole world, as long as your spouse agrees to it.
Now, I picked Angelina Jolie and Christie Brinkley. But my wife, she picked the Mexican guy that mows our lawn and his brother! Out of all the people in the world.
my favourite Norm joke as told on his first Letterman appearance
So I had this dream today, you ever have this dream, and then you wake up, right in the middle of a great dream, and then you're back in the middle of your stinkin life again?
So then you try to fall asleep - redream it. Man that never works. Always end up with some weird mutation of your original dream there, you know. Like in the first dream, I was in a pool with Christie Brinkley and we were swimming towards each other. And then I woke up. So I fell asleep again, and ended up shooting pool with David Brinkley.
Ed Christie, CEO of Spirit Airlines, walks into a bar.
He says to the bartender Can I have a draft beer?"
The bartender says "Sure thing. That'll be .50¢"
He replies "50 cents? That's really cheap!"
The bartender looks up and finishes with ."....and it'll be $3 for the glass, $4 if you just stand, $8 if you want to sit down, and $3 each time to use the restroom"
Why did Donald Trump cross the road?
To get to the other side of Chris Christie.
From the book:
Donald Trump Is F**king Goofy: Jokes and Limericks
