Fun-Filled Christians Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
It's strange to see Christians advocating abstinence only s**... education...
According to their own religion, even abstinence isn't 100% effective.
What's the difference between Christians and Jews?
Christians get guilt from the Bible. Jews get it from their mother.
I had such a strange dream last night...
everything was reversed. Vegans were eating meat. Christians were having un-married s**.... Bodybuilders were fat and eating junk food. And the weirdest of all I was getting laid.
Cultural Diversity--True Story
When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."
That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.
"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.
In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"
We never went back.
I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Work hard, Pray hard"....
I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians.
What's the difference between Jews and Christians?
Jews get really angry, but Christians just get a little cross.
How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. But only for procreation.
Every religion has violent people...
... The Christians have The Westboro Baptist Church, the Muslims have the jihadists, and the Jews have the IRS
Trigonometry
Why can't Irish do trigonometry? They can't tan.
Why can't Christians do trigonometry? They can't sin.
Why can't the rest of us trigonometry? Just cos.
What do Evangelical Christians and homosexual men have in common?
They're both butthurt over same-s**... marriage legalization.
Christians always go on about the time Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes...
What about h**...? He made 6 million jews toast.
You can explore christians prophet reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean christians buddhists dad jokes. There are also christians puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was looking for a dating website with lots of Christians
So I joined Ashley Madison
Christians have the first name Christian, Muslims Mohammed, Jews Isaac, what boys name do atheist have?
Godfrey
Why do christians burn fossil fuels?
They're trying to destroy the evidence.
Two guys got lost in the Egyptian desert
Both christians, one named John and the other named Thomas. They were starving and about to collapse when they spotted a Mosque, They rushed there for help. The Imam came out and asked for their names, John came up with 'Abdullah' in a panic and Thomas just said his name. The Imam hastily told the patrons to give Thomas food and water. While John had to wait and finish his fast.
What I learned from small crosses placed along the roadside with flowers.
Christians are horrible drivers.
If Christians want to stop gay s**......
they should encourage gay marriage.
I don't understand Christians
They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven.
I don't understand why Christians are so bothered by trans people...
After all, the first cross dresser was Jesus.
What's do Christians and politicians have in common?
They pick and choose what they want to believe.
Dear Muslim refugees: just pretend to be Christian.
That's what most Christians do anyways.
If muslims want to get into the US, they can just pretend they're Christians.
You know, just like Republicans.
Jews are the worst Christians
Except for one. One became the best.
So many Christians run non-profit organizations. On the other hand, atheists...
...only run non-prophet organizations.
The Muslims first invented the c**...
The Muslims first invented the c**... in the year 654 using a goat intestine. Christians expanded on this idea in 1364 by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Thanks Reverse-Flash
Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek?
Dad: Cause it's the future son
How do Christians pay for sins?
With praypal.
Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter!
April Fools!
I don't know why Christians are so hard on u**... teen mothers.
I mean, Jesus turned out alright.
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Nun. They'll sit in the dark ages.
Why are christians not able to do trigonometry?
Because Jesus took away their sin.
Christians don't get angry.
They hey cross.
A message to Christians who believe same-s**... couples should not adopt:
Jesus had two dads and he turned out fine.
If Jesus was killed in 1865,
Christians would be walking around with nooses around their neck instead of crosses.
What are two things that you can see in the photo op at St John's church?
One is a glorified tool that is no longer relevant, but still widely used by radical christians to persecute homosexuals, degrade women, prohibit freedom, and rationalize war on non-believers.
The other is the bible.
Do I know you?
Four Great Truths About Religion:
Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
\- Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
\- Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
\- Born-Again Christians do not recognize each other at s**... clubs.
Jews always get really angry.
Christians just get a little cross.
64AD: Nero bans the practice of christianity through the roman empire
christians: i can't believe this
romans: correct
How are Christians against piercings?
Didn't Jesus have 4?
A Muslim boy once asked his father: "why is it that Jews can't work on Saturday, Christians can't work on Sunday, but Muslims work on their holy day Friday?"
The dad looked down at his son and said, "God didn't need to force us to take a break because in His infinite wisdom He knew we'd never work that much to begin with."
Jesus Returns
A booming voice descends from the heavens. Jesus has returned. I have come to take you unto heaven. People on earth are besides themselves with joy. Thank you Lord, they scream, we are ready. Jews only! He says. But Lord, what about the millions of Christians? And Jesus says, what's a Christian?
It is pretty weird that most of the Christians are against body piercings.
After all, Jesus Christ had four of them.
Christians are the worst drivers
You only ever see crosses on the side of the road.
It's funny how Jews, Christians and Muslims have fought each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
Why are christians bad at math?
Because they can't sin.
What do you call people who believe in Satan?
Christians
Studies show that atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians.
Because owning Christians isn't legal, obviously.
To Christians out there....
My tinder date said to me "I used to be Christian"...
I said to her, "Don't worry darling, I don't really care for those sorts of things"...
She replied "Thank God!"
"It's so much better now that I'm Christine".
Christians say "Jesus"
Ancient Greek women say "Hey Zeus"
Christians go to church and have to pay tithings
But Atheism is a non prophet organization.
U know why Christians call the preist 'Father' ?
Cuz calling them Daddy would be too suspicious.
What sport are Christians the best at playing?
La-*Cross!*
What do Christians and mice have in common?
They both worship cheeses
Christians, Muslims, and Jews are always fighting,
but Hindus never have any beef.
If Christians are against gay marriage...
Why do they always talk about Jesus marryin' Joseph?
Christians who celebrate Hannukah
Are in the menorahty.
if Christians read the Bible to get closer to God, what do atheists read to further intensify their non-belief?
The Bible.
