Christian Bible Jokes
18 christian bible jokes and hilarious christian bible puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about christian bible that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Christian Bible Short Jokes
Short christian bible jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The christian bible humour may include short bible jokes also.
- if Christians read the Bible to get closer to God, what do atheists read to further intensify their non-belief? The Bible.
- If Christians read the bible to strengthen their beliefs, what should atheists read to strengthen theirs? The same.
- As a Christian I can't Believe there are Billy Idol Cover Bands The Bible is very clear that we should not have False Idols
- Trump's Twitter is like the Christian Bible Both believers and nonbelievers read it to reinforce their views
- Justin Timberlake was a devout christian during his N-Sync days. He was always reading his Bye Bye Bible.
- As a Christian I always take the holy bible into the bathroom to read And I don't stop till all Acts are done
- I asked this christian how many bibles she had in her backpack And she told me it was nun of my business
- Why is a vegetarian mathematician always a good Christian? Because in the Bible it says "be fruitful and multiply"
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Christian Bible One Liners
Which christian bible one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with christian bible? I can suggest the ones about christian and hebrew bible.
- How do you hide money from a Fundamentalist Christian? Put it in a Bible.
Fun-Filled Christian Bible Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about christian bible you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bible verse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make christian bible pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Isis and the Christian man
An ISIS member stopped the car of a Christian couple.
ISIS member: Are you Muslim?
Christian man: Yes, I'm Muslim.
ISIS member: If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from the Bible.
ISIS member: Ok yallah go.
Later his wife tells him: "I cannot believe the risk you just took.
Why did u tell him that we are Muslims?
If he knew you were lying he would have killed both of us."
"Do not worry! If they knew the Quran they would not kill people" answered the Husband.
A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.
So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"
A Rabbi, A pundit and a Priest
A rabbi, a pundit and a priest once decided to put their skills to the test,
so they challenged each other...the challenge was who could convert a bear
They all met a few days later.....the pundit n priest were ok but the rabbi was in a full body cast...
so started the pundit...guess what...I read the gita to the bear....n now he is a pious hindu
The priest says...guess what, I read the bible to my bear....it brought tears to his eyes...he immediately had himself baptised now he is a devout christian....
Finally the Rabbi mutters....."shouldve left the circumcision for later"
A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I read the bible. Some things I adhere to and I force other to do the same.
Some things I don't like. I think they are BS. I guess you could say that I am an UnevenGelical Christian.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.
ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.
ISIS guy: Are you m**...?
Christian: Yes I am.
ISIS guy: Recite a verse from Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from Bible.
ISIS guys: Yallah-h**...-snackbar, you can go.
Later Christian guy's wife: I can't believe you took that risk. If he knew you recited a verse from Bible he would have killed us.
Christian guy: Don't worry, if he knew Quran he wouldn't be member of ISIS.
_________________________
EDIT :
**Dein Beitrag wurde vergoldet!**
What does that mean? Oh! Thanks for the gold ( not sure if I should reveal the user name, I always see people write thanks for the gold stranger )
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A very christian woman
A very Christian woman marries a very Christian man. Following the words of the Bible, "Be fruitful and multiply," they have many children. 16 over the course of 18 years, to be exact.
A few years later, the husband dies suddenly of a heart attack. The lady remarries another man, and they have 17 children over the course of 22 years. The woman's second husband dies of old age.
The woman herself dies a few years later. At her f**..., her sister remarks, "Well, at least they're finally together."
"Who? She and her husbands?" asks the pastor.
"No," says the sister. "Her legs."
Susan at Bible Shool
Susan was a good little Christian girl, but one Saturday night, she stayed up way to late. So when Sunday rolled around and it came time for Sunday School, she finally forced herself to go. Upon her arrival she figured it wasn't all that important as it was the same lesson from 3 weeks ago. She dozed off, and when the teacher asked her, "Who is the Son of God?" The boy next to her poked her with a pencil. She immediately woke up and exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!". After this she nodded off again and the teacher called on her again, "Susan, who is the creator of the universe?" The boy poked her again with the pencil, awakening flustered and rather angry, she spoke softly, growing gradually louder, "Oh, my, God!" Again she falls asleep when the teacher asks one final question, "Susan, what did Eve say to Adam after their 56th child?" The boy once more prodded her with his pencil and she screams, "IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME, I WILL SNAP IT IN HALF!!!"