Following is our collection of funny Chris jokes. There are some chris jamie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chris chris tucker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
He used Apple Maps.
He wanted 2 hit singles
And now they are The ......... Peas
Unsurprisingly, he has beaten Rihanna to it.
The shop attendant asked him, "Are you going to put that tree up yourself?"
The guy replied, "Don't be disgusting! I'm going to put it in the living room!"
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates'
Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said
'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally
pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man
with a raised eyebrow and asked,
'And just what do those symbolize?'
The paddy replied, 'These are Carols.'
I thought it was a great trade.
I sold my guitar to a man with no hands.
So I said to him: "So how are you gonna work that then?"
He shrugged and said: "I'll play it by ear."
All Gratuities payable towards My Uncle Chris.
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"
The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."
"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe; she fakes it with Ken."
and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."
Because he's a bad wrapper
You can explore chris kathy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chris venue dad jokes. There are also chris puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
It was difficult to deal with.
ο»Ώ"Which one?" I replied, "Chris Jr, or the girl one?"
Maybe he can actually hit somebody.
Hey man, I'd love to hit that.
What about Hitler? He made 6 million jews toast.
Beats me.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The Irishman replied, 'These are Carol's'
And So The Christmas Season begins......and I sure hope the jokes get better.
I do all the work and a fat man in a suit gets all the credit.
She found the other girls lipstick on his knuckles.
I haven't worn it yet.
Credit to my friend Chris
I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.
they should encourage gay marriage.
They all hang together, half of them don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright.
This year I'd prefer a moaner or a squirter.
They get their presents from Satan.
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
And people already have their decorations up.
...feels like it was just yesterday.
The punch line
Poor Chris Pratt
At the gate, St. Peter says, "because your beautiful voice and amazing talent brought happiness to so many people, we'll grant you one wish".
Chris thought about it for a moment and replied, "I'd like the world to be a kinder, better place".
So St. Peter killed Roger Ailes.
A Christian was hiking in the wilderness, he stumbles upon a bear. The bear starts chasing him! The Christian is now cornered, he gets on one knee and says "Lord, turn this bear into a Christian" the bear creeps up closer and closer, and then gets on one knee and says "Lord, thank you so much for this meal I'm about to receive"
I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
"Lord," I asked, "why is there but one set of footprints in the sand?"
"My child," he tenderly replied, "Those are Chris Christie's."
My Mother replied, "I'm a ventriloquist."
...only run non-prophet organizations.
An instant hit.
Well, except Chris Brown.
The man realized the bear was catching up, so the man got down on his knees and yelled "DEAR GOD, PLEASE LET THIS BEAR BECOME A CHRISTIAN SO THAT HE DOESN'T EAT ME" then the bear got down on his knees and said, "Dear God, thank you for this meal."
It's the little things that count
Because you do all the hard work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
*You better watch out*
*You better not cry*
*You better not pout*
*I'm going in dry*
... it was a good trade
The next they are telling me how good it felt to let Jesus enter them.
He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said, That's my house. They then asked about the second structure. That's where I go to Church. The man replied. Then they asked about the third structure. A scowl came over the mans face as he told the rescuers, That's where I used to go to Church.
Her: I used to be Christian.
Him: It's all right, I don't really care for those sorts of things.
Her; Thank god! It's so much better now that I'm Christine!
She said to her boyfriend, he replies "that's ok, I don't mind" relieved she says "oh that's great, I'm so much more comfortable being Christine"
He'll be sponsored by Black & Decker.
Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace
She found another girl's lipstick on his fist.
Radio stations only have 90 minutes of nonstop hits.
The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year
Because Jesus took away their sin.
They hey cross.
If they weren't arguing they would have seen it coming.
The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:
'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"
"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.
Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:
'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"
The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"
The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:
'MY GOD!'"
Black and Deck Her
Where would you hide it?
He figures if he can't beat em may as well join em
Except Chris Brown
She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles
It was Christmas time and the lady answered the door to the mailman. She said come inside I have something for you. She took him upstairs and screwed his brains out. The next morning she cooked him a huge breakfast and gave him a dollar. The mailman asked what just happened. She said I asked my husband what to give you for Christmas and he said 'fuck him, give him a dollar' the breakfast was my idea.
A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. The horse's owner said, "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'Praise the Lord!' to make him go and 'Amen!' to make him stop."
Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" Sure enough, the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord!" he said again, and the horse began to trot. "Praise the Lord!" he yelled and the horse broke into a gallop.
Bill was enjoying his ride so much that he almost didn't notice the cliff he and horse were about to go over. Bill shouted "AMEN!" at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff.
Relieved, Bill said, "Phew, Praise the Lord!"
Married man : "lol"
because Jesus saves.
I said "holy shit, you guys lost him again?"
I really need to borrow some chairs
Both will be out in January.
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They were shaving themselves till marriage.
They heard if you drink it, you become eggnostic
Because they can't afford the train!
Sorry, but I'm eating alone this Christmas and have no one here to tell it to.
She's in for a rude awakening.
Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.
I don't know Y.
They're both Thor.
Do you see what I see?
He was stuck on 2 across
Or as you probably call them - relatives sleeping in the spare room.
I ordered the endless buffet and all they gave me were five loaves of bread and two fish
The ManDeLorean.
I wasn't invited. That's not an invitation I would turn down, but I understand, I'm not hating.
Fresh prints!
Because heβs always improving their punchlines.
Chris Rock can take a hit
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chris chris christie fat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chris chris paul piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.