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Chosen Jokes

75 chosen jokes and hilarious chosen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chosen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Crack up to the best jokes about Yahweh, exile, and monarchy in the Chosen. These jokes have been handpicked to bring a smile to your face! Discover hilarious gags and stories that will help provide added insight into this complex and dynamic culture.

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Funniest Chosen Short Jokes

Short chosen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chosen humour may include short selected jokes also.

  1. Mom, Am I adopted? Son: Mom, Am I adopted?
    Mom: Nuh, you think we would have chosen you?
  2. Dad, am I adopted? Son : Dad, am I adopted?
    Dad : If we really wanted to adopt, we would have chosen someone better.
    E^dit : formatting
  3. Asked my parents if I was adopted... They laughed and said "Of course not, why would we have chosen you?"
  4. I've chosen not to vaccinate my kids... I think it's better to let a professionel doctor handle that.
  5. When I was little I prayed to God for ridiculous amounts of money when I'm older I think I should have chosen my words more carefully
  6. Dont Blame Someone Else For All The Things That Happen In Your Life And The Road You Have Chosen... Thats Your Own Asphalt
  7. Our band always gets announced last at every event we preform at, no matter where we are in the show... Probably should not have chosen Partridge in a pear Tree as our band name.
  8. My wife was telling me to never give and keep trying. She's usually not that supportive and she could have chosen a better time. Why did she have to say it during Russian Roulette?
  9. I don't know if this one has been said but here goes. As a necromancer you need hobbies. I've chosen baking because it's weirdly very similar. With a little ritual... I raise the bread.
  10. What would the greatest hockey player in history be called if he would have chosen not to play hockey? Wayne Regretzky

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Chosen One Liners

Which chosen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chosen? I can suggest the ones about picked and choose.

  1. The Jews may be the "Chosen People"... ... But the Muslims are the "Randomly Selected".
  2. Which of King Arthur's knights was chosen to make the round table? Sir Cumference
  3. What do you call a Mexican knight? The Chosen Juan.
  4. Many are called, few are chosen..... .....thats right, I have jury duty
  5. Did you hear about the Spanish Star Wars spin-off? It's about the chosen Juan.
  6. Frodo was chosen as the Ringbearer because... it's hard to break a hobbit
  7. What do you call a Mexican Jedi? The chosen Juan.
  8. How was the name Canada chosen? C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?
  9. What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico? The Chosen Juan.
  10. Beyonce Pregnant With Twins, Names Already Chosen Red and Yellow
  11. Out of 10 puns chosen at random, how many actually made people laugh? No pun in ten did.
  12. Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ?
    Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
  13. That pun was too forced that Obi-Wan thought it was the chosen one.
  14. Hillary has chosen Bernie as her running-mate! Bernie Madoff
  15. Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread? It's more fun to break wind

The Chosen Jokes

Here is a list of funny the chosen jokes and even better the chosen puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why was Caitlyn Jenner chosen as the PTA treasurer? Because posting read Must be trans parent.
  • The Pope died and they needed a successor. They considered Cardinal Sicola, but he was not chosen because they didn't want a Pope Sicola.
  • I think Jason Momoa looks terrible as Aquaman... ...they should have chosen someone who looks more finnish.
  • At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.
  • The other day I was casting for a movie about my life I'd chosen the actor to play my father, but he said "I don't wanna be your father"
    To which I replied "Perfect, you already know your lines"
  • I'm devastated that my son has chosen a career in finance rather than taking over the family wheat farm. He's going against the grain.
  • Jewish guy goes to his rabbi . . . . . . he asks, "I don't get it. If we're the chosen people, why did God make the goys?"
    The rabbi shrugs and say, "Hey . . . somebody's gotta pay retail."
  • When I asked my mom if by any chance I was adopted... She replied, "That's hilarious! Why on earth would we have chosen you!?"
  • The Sun are running dream team for the World Cup Given the news papers poor handling of hillsborough I've chosen to use the Guardians version instead
    But you can only select left wingers
  • Kristen Bell sings 'Frozen' songs to evacuees I would have chosen "Gone with the Wind" soundtrack
Chosen joke, Kristen Bell sings 'Frozen' songs to evacuees

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about chosen can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of chosen puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Chosen Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about chosen you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean choice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make chosen prank.

The Catholic Church has chosen its anthem

Concerto for o**... in a minor.

Moses, Jesus and Mohammed were selecting their followers...

Moses looks at all the women from whom to create his chosen people, picks out all of the smart ones and tells them to follow him. Jesus' turn comes, he looks at the remaining group, picks all of the most beautiful ones and tells them to follow him. Mohammed takes a look at the remaining group, sighs and says "cover yourself up"

A Native American boy goes up to his father and asks him how they are given their names...

"Father, how are our names chosen?"
"Well, when a baby is born, the father walks out of the tent, and the first thing he sees, he names his new son.
If he sees a bird flying, he names 'flying bird'. A deer jumping? 'Jumping Deer'.
So tell me, young Sheep-a-Shittin', why do you ask?"

A young bride and groom to be

A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater three times a day.

A guy rescued a genie.

To return the favor, the genie offered him a wish: he could have unlimited money, or unlimited wisdom. The man chose the latter. A few days passed by, his friend came to visit him, finding him crying very fiercely and screaming the sentence: "I should have chosen the money."

An Irish man decides to go on Mastermind....

He's called to the chair.
'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.
'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.
Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:
'That's right, p**... - tell them nothing!'

A man walked up to me and asked "What is your chosen faith?"

I told him that George Michael's version was still the best.

A Blonde calls tech support

She is told that in order to get help, they need her password.
She says that the password is "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had chosen such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

One by one, a class of fifth-graders were called on to make sentences with words chosen by their teacher.

Nick didn't often participate in class, so his teacher was glad when she saw him raise his hand to give it a try.
"Nick," said the teacher, "make a sentence with the words 'defeat,' 'defense,' 'deduct,' and 'detail.'"
Nick thought for a few minutes then smiled. He shouted, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!"

Why is Ubisoft the worst gaming company in France?

Punchline only included in the season pass! Preorder now and get one of 26 randomly chosen bonus characters! 27th character included in Spanish version only.

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.

Four great religious truths

Muslims don't recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
Jews don's recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
Baptists don't recognize each other at h**....

Foot Heads Arms Body

The army was deciding on how much weaponry should be provided to each unit and each soldier. For this, they set up a committee and the veteran General Samuel Foot was chosen to be the head of it.
The newspapers got wind of this and published it on the front page.
The headline was "Foot Heads Arms Body."

Do I know you?

Four Great Truths About Religion:
Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
\- Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
\- Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
\- Born-Again Christians do not recognize each other at s**... clubs.

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.

Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!

My wife's mad at me because last night she asked me if I could have a t**... which of her friends would I choose.

I guess I probably shouldn't have chosen 2 of them.

The Princess of Potatoes has to marry

King Tater instructs his daughter to choose a noble potato to wed.
The princess says, "Father, I have chosen. I want to marry Rachel Maddow."
"I WON'T HAVE IT!" yells King Tater in a fury.
"But Father, I never knew you would be homophobic," said the princess.
"It's not that!" said the king. "It's that she's only a commentator."

When I was a teenager…

…I worked as a bag boy in a southern supermarket (Publix). As one of the busiest stores, we were chosen to test making fresh squeezed juice in the store at customers' request. As a social person, this sounded like a pretty cool job so I asked my manager if I could get some shifts on the juice machine. Unfortunately, it wasn't possible because baggers can't be juicers

The Enterprise-D had just accomplished a major Starfleet mission, so the crew went to celebrate at Ten Forward. Captain Picard and Chief O'Brien were chosen to give the toasts.

First O'Brien gave his toast; "May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."
Next Picard gave his toast; "Cinnamon, eggs, bread and maple syrup."
The bartender, Guinan, admired O'Brien's toast, but was absolutely confused by Picard's.
So O'Brien explained, "As you all know, I'm from Ireland, so I gave a traditional Irish toast."
And Picard explained, "And as you all know, I'm from France..."

Chosen joke, Which of King Arthur's knights was chosen to make the round table?

jokes about chosen

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these chosen jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.