Chopped Jokes

Funniest Chopped Short Jokes

Short chopped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chopped humour may include short chopping jokes also.

1. a man is chopping down a tree the tree says Wait, i'm a talking tree
   the man proceeds chopping down the tree and says and you will dialogue.
2. Did you hear what happened to the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He's dead.
3. A lumberjack goes into a forest to chop down a tree. "Wait," says the tree, "I'm a talking tree." The lumberjack smiles and says, "And you will dialogue."
4. I Walked In On My Dad Chopping Onions Up One Day... It made me cry. Onions was my favorite dog.
5. Caught my Vegan roommate... Caught my Vegan roommate crying today while chopping onions. These people are taking it too far now!
6. Lost three toes in a wood-chopping accident and my girlfriend dumped me Said she's lack-toes intolerant
7. Why did the knight stop fighting after all his limbs had been chopped of? He'd been unarmed and defeated
8. This one time, I cried, when my dad chopped up Onions. I loved Onions, she was such a nice, sweet, little puppy
9. My neighbor uses a wood stove, but lately he's had the flu and been too sick to chop his own wood. Do you think it would be a nice gesture to go chop some firewood for him? Axeing for a friend.
10. What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law? You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.

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Chopped One Liners

Which chopped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chopped? I can suggest the ones about chops and shredded.

1. I saw my dad chopping up onions today and I cried Onions was a good dog
2. A lumberjack chopped off my teeth But later he apologized and said it was axedental.
3. I chopped the clock in half. It was a split second decision.
4. What do you call a sheep that does karate Lamb Chop
5. Friends are like trees. If you chop them down with an axe they will die.
6. I cried when my asian friend chopped onions today I loved onions, he was a good dog
7. How do you defeat your enemies? Chop off their feet.
8. What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop.
9. I had tears in my eyes when my dad chopped up Onions I loved Onions. He was a great dog.
10. What does a Chinese lumberjack do? Chop sticks
11. I cried when my dad chopped onions Onions was a good dog
12. I use a Ouija board as a chopping board That's how I make my soul food.
13. What do you call a pig who knows karate? Pork chop
14. Whats the american version of a karate chop? A Connecti Cut!
15. When my dad chopped onions, I cried. I miss onions... Onions was a nice dog.

Chopped Off Finger Jokes

Here is a list of funny chopped off finger jokes and even better chopped off finger puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the author who got half the length of all of his fingers chopped off? He writes everything in shorthand now
• I cut my finger chopping cheese... I think that I may have grater problems.
• I came up with an idea about how to stop crying while chopping onions Unfortunately, I've run out of fingers to try it with.
• Do you know why apple changed touch id with face id? Because its harder to chop someones head than to chop their fingers.

Playful Chopped Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about chopped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chopping wood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chopped pranks.