Cholesterol Jokes
33 cholesterol jokes and hilarious cholesterol puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cholesterol that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cholesterol Short Jokes
Short cholesterol jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cholesterol humour may include short chlorine jokes also.
- Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?" And we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol.
- I think my cholesterol might be too high, A mosquito bit me, grabbed it's little chest and keeled over.
- I heard Steven Spielberg is directing a film about a fat alien... It's called "Eat-T, The Extra Cholesterol".
- How are wives like cholesterol? If you ignore them for too long they'll probably end up killing you
- A guy walks into the doctors office.. Doctor tells him, you must take it easy with those eggs.
Guy asks , why ? Is my cholesterol high.
No, the doc answers, but your farts are killing me. - I walked into a PETA adoption center and the receptionist asked me what kind of dog I wanted Apparently "Whatever's low in cholesterol" was not the right answer.
- Went to the doctor last week to discuss my blood test results.. You must stop with the eggs Mister.
is my cholesterol high?
No, your farts are killing me. - Why did the blonde avoid eating cereal? Every box had, in huge letters, "0mg cholesterol!"
- Research reveals that being married protects you from health risks such as high blood pressure, cholesterol and heart disease. Whereas being single protects you from being married.
- Jared from Subway had a mild cholesterol problem... Now he has a child molesterol problem.
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Cholesterol One Liners
Which cholesterol one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cholesterol? I can suggest the ones about calcium and choc.
- I'm 50, and I have the cholesterol of a teenager. It's amazing what you can find on eBay.
- I have high cholesterol, so my doctor has me on the "period" diet One egg a month
- What do you call a fat alien? An extra-cholesterol.
...I'm so sorry. - How do you kill a vampire with high cholesterol? By driving a steak through his heart.
- Bacon has a special place within my heart. I call it cholesterol.
- What's the most dangerous thing about Steven Seagal? his Cholesterol level
- What do you call and overweight Alien? An extra-cholesterol
- Got my cholesterol numbers back... 300 over 1... foot in the grave.
- WHATCH OUT! I AM OFF MY MEDICATION! So my cholesterol might get really high!
- I hate to brag, but I got the highest score possible on my cholesterol test.
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- What goes up but never comes down? Your cholesterol
- Where do you find Americans with the lowest cholesterol? Statin Island
- What's high in cholesterol and usually drunk at breakfast? Britney Spears
Silly & Ridiculous Cholesterol Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about cholesterol you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chemo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cholesterol pranks.
I swear Grandma didn't send this to me on Facebook...
Doctor - so, what did you have for dinner last night?
Patient - I had a fruit salad.
D - only fruit salad? Well, that should help with your cholesterol. And strawberries are very high in...
P - well, it was mostly grapes.
D - mostly?
P - well, all grapes.
D - still, fresh grapes are...
P - they weren't overly fresh. Well, a little older, maybe. Fermented?
D - ...
P - Okay, wine. I had wine for dinner.
The benefits of F***ing
1.F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing, don't eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try F***ing in bed 'cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
SO, REMEMBER ..
Fasting is good for your health
Free Organic Pathologist Test
Go upto a tree and take a leak:
* If pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
* If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate.
* If you can't smell it, COVID 19.
What's the difference between l**... sold by an overweight transgender person and a food that raises bad cholesterol?
Nothing. They're both **trans fatty acid**.
The attorney tells his client the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news."
"What's the bad news?" asks the accused.
"The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it."
"What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is 130."
"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client....
First the bad news:
The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene."
Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is down to 140."
F***ING !
1) F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it is harmful if done everyday
2) F***ing relaxes your mind & body
3) F***ing refreshes you
4) After F***ing don't eat too much go for more liquids
5)Try F***ing in bed cause it can save your valuable energy
6) F***ing can reduce your cholesterol level
So remember FASTING is good for your health.
GOD BLESS YOUR DIRTY MIND :
