chlamydia Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious chlamydia puns

My girlfriend said she liked surprises.

But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia.

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I got chlamydia from a person with special needs

She gave me the slow clap

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I've always said that college students are a lot like koala bears

They sleep 22 hours a day, and 90% of them have chlamydia.

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My doctor told me that I have syphillis, gonnorhea and chlamydia. On the positive side...

HIV.

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What's the worst kind of media?

chlamydia

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My sex life is ruined

Yesterday my doctor diagnosed me with a disease which will ruin my sex life forever.

Your probably thinking Gonorrhea, Chlamydia or Aids!

It's much worse than that!

I've got arthritis in my hands!

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So my 12 year old son asked me what are Cooties.

"Well son, when I was a child, we thought cooties were a germ only girls had"

And then my son goes

"So it's like Chlamydia"

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Shelly sells seashells down by the seashore

Shelly got chlamydia.

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What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

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My girlfriend has a fire crotch.

Or as it's scientifically known, "Chlamydia".

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Doctor: I have some bad and good news. First the negativeβ€”You have syphillis, chlamydia, and Hepatitis.

But on the positive side, HIV.

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My girlfriend keeps telling me she's not a fire nymph.

She just has chlamydia.

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I really love the names Chloe, Mary, and Lydia, but I couldn't choose my favourite when my daughter was born

So I combined them and got Chlamydia. It's just so catchy!

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Racism at its finest

They asked a Scottish man
"What is better for you? A Muslim or a Jewish?"
He replied: the Muslim is better than the Jewish in the sense that gonorrhea is better than chlamydia

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My STI test results came back

I have chlamydia but at least I'm staying positive about it

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My friend got chlamydia from her ex-boyfriend after they broke up

It was a dick move on his part

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What do you call a group of Chlamydia bacteria?

An applause....

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Did you hear what happened to the private who got caught sleeping with his drill instructor's Chlamydia infected wife?

He got an oily discharge.

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My doctor is trying to convince me I have a venereal disease...

But I'm a Chlamydia Change skeptic.

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Sex can be really dangerous

You can get Herpes, Chlamydia, HIV or even worse.... a relationship.

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Why do they call Chlamydia "The Clap"?

Because you're so happy it's not AIDS

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I have gotten chlamydia so many times...

It is a standing ovation.

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I clicked on an ad for horny single women in my area and got a virus...

It was chlamydia.

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How do you treat Chlamydia?

Take her out for dinner maybe.

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Chlamydia is like weed...

Sometimes you have it, sometimes your friends have it

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What do you call a prostitute with AIDS, syphilis, chlamydia and herpes?

... Fucked

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Good things come to those who wait?

Yeah right, tell that to my friend that waited until marriage for sex and got chlamydia from his first time.

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What are the most funny Chlamydia jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Chlamydia? Well, here are the best Chlamydia dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Chlamydia pick up lines to share with friends.

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