Chlamydia Jokes

What are some Chlamydia jokes?

My girlfriend said she liked surprises.

But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia.

I got chlamydia from a person with special needs

She gave me the slow clap

I've always said that college students are a lot like koala bears

They sleep 22 hours a day, and 90% of them have chlamydia.

My doctor told me that I have syphillis, gonnorhea and chlamydia. On the positive side...

HIV.

What's the worst kind of media?

chlamydia

My sex life is ruined

Yesterday my doctor diagnosed me with a disease which will ruin my sex life forever.

Your probably thinking Gonorrhea, Chlamydia or Aids!

It's much worse than that!

I've got arthritis in my hands!

So my 12 year old son asked me what are Cooties.

"Well son, when I was a child, we thought cooties were a germ only girls had"

And then my son goes

"So it's like Chlamydia"

Shelly sells seashells down by the seashore

Shelly got chlamydia.

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

My girlfriend has a fire crotch.

Or as it's scientifically known, "Chlamydia".

What do you call a koala without chlamydia?

A virgin.

Doctor: I have some bad and good news. First the negativeβ€”You have syphillis, chlamydia, and Hepatitis.

But on the positive side, HIV.

I asked the doctor, "How do I treat chlamidia?"

The doctor's response: "Did you mean: ***chlamydia"***

Racism at its finest

They asked a Scottish man
"What is better for you? A Muslim or a Jewish?"
He replied: the Muslim is better than the Jewish in the sense that gonorrhea is better than chlamydia

I really love the names Chloe, Mary, and Lydia, but I couldn't choose my favourite when my daughter was born

So I combined them and got Chlamydia. It's just so catchy!

My girlfriend keeps telling me she's not a fire nymph.

She just has chlamydia.

What do you call a group of Chlamydia bacteria?

An applause....

My STI test results came back

I have chlamydia but at least I'm staying positive about it

Did you hear what happened to the private who got caught sleeping with his drill instructor's Chlamydia infected wife?

He got an oily discharge.

How to make Chlamydia jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Chlamydia to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Chlamydia? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Chlamydia pick up lines to share with friends.

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