Chirping Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A bird is flying south for the winters

It freezes mid-flight and falls down on the snow in a farm. A cow passing by takes pity on it and shits on it to keep it warm.

After few minutes the bird regains consciousness because of the warmth and starts chirping.

A cat hears it, picks it out of the shit, cleans it and eats it.

Moral of the story:

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who takes you out of a shit is your friend.

But most importantly,

When you are in a deep shit, shut the fuck up.

My wife and I were sitting in our living room in silence looking at our phones...

We heard a cricket outside and she looked at me and said "I heard a cricket chirping, but you didn't tell a joke"

It's a nice day in the park. Birds are chirping and children are playing.

You get tired of walking and head over to a bench. There's another man there and he's-... HE'S JERKING OFF.


"I am."

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They pull into a forest and each climb up a separate tree. The cop parks and walks up to the tree with the brunette.

"I know you're up there, get down from there."

Cheep cheep cheep cheep....

He hears the chirping and is convinced it's just a bird. He goes to the second tree with the redhead.

"Get down right now. I don't have the patience."

Hoo. Hoo.

He hears the hooting and is convinced it's just a owl. He walks up to the tree with the blonde.

"I know you're up there. Get down right now."

After some silence and much thought....


A quick stress releasing scenario.

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called "The World." The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear, and you can easily make out the face of the asshole whose head you're holding under the water.

Bought the 'Sounds of the Rainforest cd,

not as relaxing as I hoped. The 1st half was birds chirping, rest was chainsaws and bulldozers.

Rock's Bottom

*Meets Dwayne Johnson*


*Spanks his butt*

"Looks like I've officially hit rock bottom"

*crickets chirping*

[Got it from twitter]

What are the funniest chirping jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Chirping? Well, here are the best Chirping puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Chirping pick up lines to share with friends.


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