Chip Shop Jokes
23 chip shop jokes and hilarious chip shop puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chip shop that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chip Shop Short Jokes
Short chip shop jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chip shop humour may include short corner shop jokes also.
- Two priests decided to open a Fish and Chip shop... ... One was a Fish Friar, the other was a Chip Monk.
- The fish and chip shop near me has gone into liquidation Now the owner is stuck between a rock and a hard plaice
- Anyone hear about the most violent chip shop in the galaxy? It's called the Salt and Battery.
- Why did the cod sue the fish and chip shop? Assault and battery.
Sorry again. I'm bored in work.
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Chip Shop One Liners
Which chip shop one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chip shop? I can suggest the ones about fish and chip shop and pet shop.
- There was a fight in a fish and chip shop! Two fish got battered ;).
- A man walks into a fish and chip shop... "Nice plaice"
- What do you call a male sheep that works in a fish and chips shop? a battering ram
- I've started up a chip shop in Auschwitz. I called it "Arbeit Macht Fries".
- A robot decided to open a shop recently I heard its prices are pretty chip
- Whats red and dripping down the chip shop window? Abortion of chips.
Hilarious Fun Chip Shop Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about chip shop you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coffee shop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chip shop pranks.
A man walks into a fish & chip shop to order the evening meal.
He asks for two cod & chips.
Owner: Apologies, we don't have any cod.
Man: Ok… I'll have two cod & chips then.
Owner (slightly irritated): Sorry, we haven't got any cod, like I said.
Man: Sorry, sorry!… I'll just have two cod & chips then.
Owner (now irate): Look mate, we've got no cod! C-O-F-D COD!!
Man (confused): There is no F in cod.
Owner: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!
Willpower
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'
I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
A guy walks up to the shopkeeper and asks for a Fender Strat, an Orange Amp and a Mooger Fooger pedal...
...the shop keeper says: "Are you a drummer?" and the guy responds: "Yeah how can you tell?"
The shop keeper responds: "This is a fish and chip shop mate."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is doing some grocery shopping...
She's going to the checkout line and the cashier says:
"Coke... mayo... some corn flakes... a bottle of wine... some chips. Let me guess, you're single right?"
The lady goes "Well... yeah, how do you know?"
The cashier answers, "Because you're ugly"
I went to an ASDA Cafe for lunch
Yesterday i was shopping in ASDA and decide to have lunch in the Cafe, i ordered a plain burger and chips.
when i got to the counter to pay the woman said,
"A plain burger, that's a bit boring isn't it? are you sure you don't want anything on it?"
to which i replied,
"Oh go on then! i'll have £5 each way..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man walks back into a fish n' chip shop...
...Looking down at his supper he asks, "Are you sure this fish was cooked?"
The lady serving behind the counter asks, "How come?!"
"IT'S ATE' ALL THE f**...' CHIPS!" :D
***[Old one but a good'n]***
Moses, Jesus and a third man are playing golf one day.
Moses is up first. He hits a nice shot, but it dips and lands in a water trap. Moses quickly raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls out of the trap.
Jesus is up next. He hits an almost identical shot, again landing in the water trap. The ball hovers a few inches over the surface of the water, and Jesus casually strolls out and chips the ball up onto the green.
The third man is up last. He hits a long shot, but it's going in a wrong direction. It flies off the course to the left and into traffic. It hits a truck and bounces off, landing on the roof of the pro shop and rolling down the roof until it bounces down the course. It lands in the same water trap. A frog takes the ball in its mouth when suddenly a hawk flies down, picks up the frog, and as they fly over the green the frog drops the ball into a hole for a perfect hole-in-one.
Moses turns to Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."