Chinese Restaurant Jokes
113 chinese restaurant jokes and hilarious chinese restaurant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chinese restaurant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chinese Restaurant Short Jokes
Short chinese restaurant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chinese restaurant humour may include short chinese food jokes also.
- A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
- My local Chinese restaurant has been hit with a £10k electricity bill. They said they can't turn off all the lights but they do dim sum.
- A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant The man says to the chef:
"Gee, this steak is rubbery!" And the chef replies "thank you very much!" - Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless
- I was at a Chinese restaurant... when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings.
- Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant... Told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction
- I want to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine I call it "Wok like an Egyptian".
- I called a Chinese restaurant, the man replied " Hello, I am Wan King the chef."
I replied "It's OK, I'll call you later." - Many Chinese restaurants have names like, Golden Palace, Golden Lotus, Golden Dragon... But mine is named after my favourite dish, Golden Retriever.
- As a landlord, the most laid-back renters I ever had were a Chinese restaurant. They were lo mein tenants.
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Chinese Restaurant One Liners
Which chinese restaurant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chinese restaurant? I can suggest the ones about chinese takeout and chinese meal.
- There is only one thing I don't like about ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant The bill
- Rob zombie is opening an authentic Chinese restaurant It's called 'More Hunan Than Hunan'
- What do Chinese restaurants do when their lights are too bright? Dim sum
- Who is the laziest person in a Chinese restaurant? Susan
- I went to a Chinese restaurant and there was a suggestion box, so I wrote 'Free Tibet.'
- What do they serve at the medicore Chinese restaurant? General so-so's chicken
- What do you call it when someone blows up a Chinese restaurant? Wonton destruction.
- Why is the lighting in Chinese restaurants so inconsistent? Because they dim sum...
- What happens in a chinese restaurant when the power goes out? It'll dim sum
- What do you call an argument in a Chinese restaurant? A disruption in the wokplace.
- What do you call a balding lion in a Chinese restaurant? Low mane.
- Why can't you play hide and seek in a Chinese restaurant? Because of the Peking duck.
- How's the new Chinese restaurant downtown? Eh...
It's tso-tso. - What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants ? Wok n' Roll
- What does a cannibal order at a Chinese restaurant? Rawmen
Silly Chinese Restaurant Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about chinese restaurant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chinese takeaway jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chinese restaurant pranks.
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
Lately, i called a chinese restaurant for a reservation
i also mentioned that i would bring my little dog.
They told me: "No outside food allowed!"
What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?
A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy picks up a waitress at a Chinese restaurant...
A guy picks up an innocent, young waitress at a Chinese restaurant and after a night out gets her back to his place. After some fooling around he's ready for action and says, "How's about a little sixty-nine?" to which she replies, "You want broccoli with beef?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
Did you hear about the guy who burnt down the Chinese restaurant?
He was charged with won ton destruction
^^*cue* ^^*groan*
My prejudiced grandfather
One time I was reheating leftover fried rice from Chinese take-out, and I decided to mix in some basmati we had from the Indian restaurant. My grandfather smacked me on the head and told me to knock it off.
He believes in separating the rices.
Chinese restaurant
A man goes to a restaurant and without letting the waitress give him the menu says "I want a Medium Rare Ribeye steak with Roasted Potatoes in Marinara sauce." The waitress timidly responds "Sir. This is a Chinese restaurant." To which the man replies "Oh! I'm sorry. I want a Medium Lale Libeye steak with Loasted Potatoes in Malinala Sauce."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't Chinese Restaurant owners do their dirty dishes?
Because it's too much wok! [Sorry, I just made that up!]
Was talking religion over at a Chinese restaurant with some friends when...
one friend pondered if there were any Chinese Jews.. Nobody at the table had ever heard of one so we decided to ask our server. We called him over and inquired if he knew of any any Chinese Jews.,. He looked a little perplexed and said he would go and ask his manager. He returned some minutes later declaring that to his knowledge there were no Chinese Jews.. He only knew of Orange, Pineapple and Cranberry....
I got arrested for breaking into the Chinese restaurant.
Don't worry, my attorney said that I'll probably wok.
Did you hear about the guy who smashed up a Chinese restaurant?
They put him in jail for wonton destruction.
A Muslim man went to China...
And went to a nearby Chinese restaurant. He orders his food and, being the faithful Muslim man he is, he wants to make sure that his food isn't pork.
He asks the waiter "Is this pork?" but the waiter doesn't know any English.
So instead he points at his food and says "Oink?"
The waiter quickly shakes his head and says "Meow"
My Future
I have a lot more trust and faith in my guidance counselor's advice after getting an empty fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Chinese people s**... at soccer?
Because every time they get a corner they open up a restaurant.
Chinese takeout
My wife has been angry at me all night for bringing her six bowls of soup back from the local Chinese restaurant.
I don't know what her deal is, she very clearly asked for wanton soup.
a man walks in to a Chinese restaurant
He was asked to wait at the bar until a table was available. The bartender asked "what would you like?" The man answered, "I'd like a Stoli with a twist." The bartender paused for a moment then said " Once upon a time, there were three little pigs...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the baby order at the chinese restaurant?
Goo goo g**... pan!
After the news today, I went to a Chinese restaurant and made a special order...
Kung Pao.
There were two chefs. She was Chinese, he was German.
They fell in love, got married, and opened a restaurant together. The food is terrific, and very interesting; however...
A half hour after you eat there, you are hungry for power.
The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu.
It's Secret Asian Flan
A cat walked into a chinese restaurant.
I ordered special #4.
Me and my Italian friend are opening a Chinese restaurant...
It's called 2 Dum Wops
What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?
May I have Eurasian plate?
A Chinese restaurant is pillaged...
It was wonton vandalism.
I tried to join a local gang of thieves that were stealing supplies from Chinese restaurants in town.
I don't think I made the cut though. They told me to go take a walk.
Why did a Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn start charging more for its Kung Pao chicken?
It was "gentry fried."
What does Waka flocka order at a Chinese restaurant?
BAO BAO BAO BAO
What does a noise musician order at a Chinese restaurant?
Peaking duck!
TIFU by eating someone else's sandwich at work
After apologizing for my mistake, I kindly offered to take them to a restaurant of their choice after work. They happily agreed. We ended up going to a Chinese place. We had a good time. We're really good friends now.
I would like a pizza please
-im sorry sir this is a chinese restaurant
-oh pardon me...ahem... i foud rike e pizzah prease
A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ...
"You can't be seated without a Thai."
At a Chinese restaurant
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said, Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck
Did you hear about the Chinese restaurant in Trump Tower?
You eat there and an hour later you're hungry for power.
A man walks into a restaurant
Waiter : Hello, what can I get you today?
Man : I would like some chili please.
Waiter : Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.
Man : I wourd rrike some chirri prease.
What kind of sandwich can you only find in Chinese restaurants in Philadelphia?
Filly Cheesesteak
I once worked in a Chinese restaurant and I got in trouble...
I had to report to Hunan Resources.
I just had dinner at a Chinese-German fusion restaurant a couple of hours ago
The food was great but now I'm hungry for power.
What African country is the best place to start a Chinese restaurant?
Togo
A man goes to a restaurant..
A man goes to a restaurant and is ready to order
' So what would you have, sir?'
Yes, I would like to order lasagna please
'Sir.. this is a Chinese restaurant..'
Oh I'm so sorry! I would rike to order the rasagna prease!
One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant...
Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.
Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"
I discreetly called the Chinese restaurant.
I ordered some Lowkey Mein
I don't feel comfortable using the toilets at chinese restaurants....
because of the Peking duck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember that scene from A Christmas Story where the people at the Chinese restaurant were singing "Fa ra ra ra raaa..."?
They were really filled with that no-L spirit.
What is the attitude of rude waiters at Chinese restaurants?
"We have no Forks to give around here."
A couple that ran a Chinese restaurant were in bed...
... when the husband turned to his wife and said "do you want to try 69?" And the wife replied, "why do you want sesame chicken now?"
What did the Chinese restaurant do when they ran out of soy sauce?
They cooked like there was no tamari.
Two friends, a Muslim and a Chinese man, opened a restaurant...
They called the place Ayatollah Lo-Meini.
A chef at a Chinese restaurant enters the kitchen to see a group of birds cooking.
He turns to one of his employees and exclaims, "Dim Sum Birds."
What's the favorite seafood restaurant of the Chinese mafia?
Red mobster
I had a terrible headache in a Chinese restaurant last night and asked for them to turn off the lights
or just dim sum.
Why are kitchens in Chinese restaurants so efficient?
They have a Peking order.
My friend took me to an authentic Chinese restaurant and when we arrived there was a pen of dogs to choose from in the entry.
That's not what I meant when I said you can pick the Spot.
A group of thugs barged into a chinese restaurant recently and smashed up all the dumplings...
Such pointless wonton destruction.
A guy goes in a Chinese restaurant and asks, 'are these prawn crackers?'
The waiter replies, 'no, they just like having a bit of a laugh.'
Did you hear about the guy with Pica who raided the Chinese restaurant?
He ate everything and dim sum.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese woman goes to a local fast food restaurant.
The cashier: What can I get you ma'am?
The woman orders.
The cashier then jumps over the counter and begins groping and attempting to kiss the woman in public,
The woman freaks out and pushed him away screaming Why you do dis??
The cashier says: You said you wanted dirty s**...?!
The woman: I say I wanna number 36!
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
A Couple Goes to a Chinese Restaurant...
They're feeling hungry but don't want to gorge themselves on appetizers, so when the waiter takes their initial order they ask for water and some light dumplings.
After some time, they notice that the room seems a bit darker. The waiter comes back for refills and asks How is everything?
The man replies Well, the atmosphere is nice but why isn't our appetizer here yet?
The waiter responds What appetizer? You only said you wanted the light dim sum!
A sign outside a Chinese restaurant.
Sowwy we cwosed due to wok down.
A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse.
She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie:
today's investment will pay big dividends!
I was chopping up some leftover dumplings from my soup at a Chinese restaurant when suddenly it hit me...
I was engaging in acts of wonton destruction.
A man rang the Chinese restaurant to order some food...
"Can I speak to Ha-Fin?"
"No, Ha-Fin is out."
"Is that Ha-Fout?"
"No, Ha-Fout is not in."
"Well, who is that?"
"I'm Ha-Fup, the receptionist."
"Sorry, I'll call you back when you're not busy."
A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.
The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.
I ordered from this Chinese restaurant recently
(won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving back home heard the bags rustling and moving. I thought what on earth is that? Has something gotten into the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.
Because I was driving at the time, I pulled over, leaned forward picked the bag up put it on the passenger seat and there it was again more rustling and little eyes looking out from the bag. I thought it's got to be a rat or mouse or something so I carefully pulled the bag open....And there it was ...
A peeking duck.
