Chinese People Jokes
123 chinese people jokes and hilarious chinese people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chinese people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Chinese People Short Jokes
Short chinese people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chinese people humour may include short asian people jokes also.
- Why do chinese people love IPhones and Apple products? Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post) - I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!" They must be scared of the dark or something.
- My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer. Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.
- I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along. I mean, they're all Chinese.
- Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts? Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive "rincoln towncah".
- I don't know why people say building a wall doesn't work The chinese did it 2000 years ago and they still don't have any mexicans.
- A Chinese kid asks his father, "Dad, why do they say, that all Chinese people look alike ?" He replies, "I'm not your dad."
- My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong person. Oh wait, that wasn't my waiter
- My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our buddy Ty is now the state boxing champion. People from China refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
- Why do Chinese people love iPhones? Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
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Chinese People One Liners
Which chinese people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chinese people? I can suggest the ones about chinese language and ancient chinese.
- Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white
- They say there's safety in numbers... Tell that to 6 million Jews
- Why do Chinese people love playing Among Us? It's the only place they can vote
- Why do chinese people love playing Among Us ? Because thats the only place they can vote
- How do you offend an African-American and Chinese person? Make a joke about brack people.
- 50% of Chinese people have cataracts. The other 50% drive a rincoln.
- What do you call someone who blocks people on the internet? The Chinese Government
- One in every six people on this planet are Chinese. Of my five brothers, I suspect Danny.
- If I say that all Chinese people are the same Is it racism or communism?
- Why do Chinese people love NY? Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.
- How do southern Chinese people say hi? Ni-Howdy
- Why cant you make fun of Chinese people? Because its just wong
- What do 2 Chinese people call their black child Sum ting wong
- Chinese people are like chocolate. Both of them will kill your dog.
- Chinese people are the eco-friendliest people in the world They only buy local products
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Chinese People Jokes
What funny jokes about chinese people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean china man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chinese people pranks.
We have so many nationalities.
It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there.
It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity. She kept screaming "I'm Wei Tu Yung" like I was supposed to know the name.
Joke about how dangerous China is
An American tourist came to China and fell into a construction ditch, he came out, injured, and angrily told the tour guide, "In America, in a dangerous area, we always put up red flags to warn people! Why wasn't there one here?"
The Chinese tour guide very calmly replied, "Didn't you already see it when you entered the country?"
A teacher at an international school...
asks her class what their opinion is on giving food to people in other countries.
The Jewish kid asks "What is giving?"
The African kid asks "What is food?"
The Chinese kid asks "What is my opinion?"
And the American kid asks "What are other countries?"
A Chinese woman storms into a bank and up to the front of the line.
She slams her hand down on the counter and demands the teller's attention.
"My stock," she says, "yesterday was worth one hundred dollar a share! Now is ninety five! Why? You try to rip me off?"
The teller smiles and says "No ma'am. Fluctuations."
The lady's face turns a bright shade of crimson and she screams "We'll fluc you white people too!"
How Long is a Chinese name
* That's the joke.
* You have people thinking about how to answer how long the name is. When the actual joke is that the Chinese person is named How Long.
* It's pretty funny to see peoples reactions to this joke and to see how they reply to it when all you're really making is a statement.
Chinese
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my house so it must be one of them. It's either my mum, my dad, my older brother Steve or my younger brother Lao Huan. My money's on Steve.
My Chinese friend's jokes about Socialism and Capitalism
* A Russian, an American, and a Chinese person are walking down a path. Suddenly, they come to a fork in the road. One path has the sign "Capitalism," and it's brightly lit and beautiful. The other is labeled "Socialism," and it's dark and frightening. The American chooses first, marching confidently down the brightly lit path. The Russian is next. Determined, he starts to go down the dark path, but then turns back halfway and runs toward the bright path. The Chinese person is last. After thinking a moment, he chooses the bright path - but first he changes the signs.
* Stalin, on his deathbed, is talking with his successor-to-be, Khrushchev. Stalin, with his dying breath, says "But what if the people won't go with you, comrade?" Khrushchev replies, "Don't worry! If they don't go with *me*, I'll make sure that they're going with *you*."
* An American and a Russian are waiting for their friend, a Chinese guy. The Chinese guy finally arrives twenty minutes late. "Sorry," he says, "I was standing in line to buy some sausage." The American says, "What's a line?" and the Russian says, "What's a sausage?"
Why do black people take such good care of a Chinese baby?
Because black people make "Wong" decisions!
Imagine being n**... in a room full of people and everyone wants to eat you...
This is the life of a chinese dog.
A New York Times reporter is interviewing some people
The first question asked is "What is your honest opinion about the shortage of meat in the world?"
The interview was a huge failure...
The African asks "What does meat mean?".
The American asks "What does shortage mean?".
The Chinese person asks "What does opinion mean?".
The Russian asks "What does honest mean?"
The North Korean just waits. The reporter asks again, and is told "The Interview is no good!"
Why do Chinese people s**... at soccer?
Because every time they get a corner they open up a restaurant.
The Chinese Phonebook
China decided to make their own version of the Yellow Pages, but with all the Wings and Wongs, and Chans it was a mess. Finally they had decided to cancel the project people would Wing the Wong numbers.
A Chinese man from Shanghai visited New York
Upon his arrival his friends asked him how he liked New York City, to which the man responded:
I liked it very much it is very quiet, clean and not too many people.
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese.
That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi.
I suspect Craig.
Hu Inxiang Maotsi, a Chinese immigrant to the US, had to shorten his name so that people would be able to pronounce it properly. He chose to initialize his name. So now, if you ask him who he is, he'll say "I am Hu IM."
Why don't Chinese people ever go to casinos?
Because they hate Tibet!
Why do Chinese people sound like lions when you tell them a joke?
Because they ror.
I am looking for two Chinese people to help me improve legislation for animals in Asia.
That way, two wongs can make a right.
What Journey song to Chinese people sing at funerals?
Don't Stop Bereavin'
What do chinese people do when they have an e**...?
they vote
Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?
[THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER].
A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...
"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."
As a Chinese comedian many people ask about my opinion on our government...
I can't complain.
What do Chinese people call their m**... edibles?
p**... stickers
Why can't Chinese people tie their shoes?
I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist.
TIL that the current chinese president Xi Jinping, has a PhD in English literature.
That's why the Chinese people call him "The Great Reader".
How does Chinese people get to be space travelers?
They apply for the job, and after the tests, the fittest applicants get taikonaut to be on the team
Why can't chinese people have phone directories?
There are too many wongs and wings and someone could wing the wong number.
Some older generations are opposed to Chinese people immigrating to our country.
It's racist but some people will never chang.
Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?
There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a spoon on the ground and note the sound.
Why are Chinese people so racist?
Because they say n**... n**... n**... a lot.
Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America.
Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding c**... to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."
Chinese people want to criticize Ronda so bad after that fight.....but they cant.
They just end up saying her name, Ronda Rousey
Why is death rate among 20-25 year-old Chinese people rapidly increasing?
It's just youth in asia.
Chinese soldiers attack a Soviet tractor.
^This ^joke ^originated ^during ^the ^1969 ^Sino-Soviet ^border ^conflict.
**Radio broadcaster:** *"Comrades! Yesterday, a platoon of the Chinese People's Liberation Army attacked an agricultural tractor without provocation."*
*"Fortunately, our tractor returned fire. It then managed to fly back to base for repairs."*
A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...
The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".
What do Chinese people and rubber duckies have in common?
Both are yellow and mass produced.
What do you call a business run by Chinese people?
An organizasian
How do you know a Chinese moved to your neighborhood?
The black people start using the crosswalks
What do Chinese people do when they want to pray?
Turn on the Sony Praystation.
What did the Chinese man say when you asked him how people walk?
Knee how!
Why do Chinese people stir their tea clockwise while the Japanese stir it anticlockwise?
To dissolve the sugar.
(Courtesy of my dad)
The Chinese are fair people
Although slightly pale
What's Chinese people's favourite dish?
Hotdogs
I want to date a Chinese girl, an English girl, a Vietnamese girl, an Irish girl, and another Chinese girl.
So I can tell people I dated Hu, Watt, Nguyen, Weir, and Wai.
Why do the Chinese people look so tired?
because the People like to Party
Remember that scene from A Christmas Story where the people at the Chinese restaurant were singing "Fa ra ra ra raaa..."?
They were really filled with that no-L spirit.
You know what they say about people with long chopsticks, right?
They're probably Chinese.
Despite their constant bragging, Chinese people really s**... at cooking.
They can talk the talk, but they can't wok the wok.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They flip a quarter down the steps and it goes Ching, Chang, Chung.
Why do people of mixed Chinese-French ancestry say when they laugh?
~~*hon hon hon*~~
*hong hong hong*
What are Chinese people's favourite type of dog?
Medium rare
A couple recently stopped having children after their 6th child was born.
People asked them why they stopped having kids, and they responded saying "Because they said that 1 out of 7 kids are Chinese"
I hate people with Chinese Phone.
But Huawei to judge them?
Christmas!!!
Q: Why dont Chinese people believe in Santa Claus.
A: Cuz they make the gifts....
I've often wondered why Chinese people prefer open-coffin funerals...
But I guess seeing is bereaving.
The Chinese are cracking down on overweight people by making all of them live in th same place.
They call it, "The Obesity"
A Chinese calligraphy artist passed out after finishing the first brush...
People said that he had one n**... s**....
Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese.
And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, h**...-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
I have a Chinese friend named Cheng.
At an official function, we were having snacks.
I asked him, "Cheng, do you ever get fed up of people saying that all Chinese look the same?"
He replied, "Cheng has gone to the washroom. I am his wife!
What do you call a bunch of Chinese people, yelling in the other room....
I don't know how to tell my neighbor to quiet down.
White people do make weirder food than Asians
The Chinese just put minced pork in dough and called it dumplings, but Germans just HAD to use pig intestines
How do Chinese people name their child?
They throw their frying pan down the stairs.
