Chinese New Year Jokes
25 chinese new year jokes and hilarious chinese new year puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chinese new year that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Chinese New Year Short Jokes
Short chinese new year jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chinese new year humour may include short chinese people jokes also.
- Chinese New Year, Mardi Gras and valentines day are too close... I don’t know what to paint on my nails.
- A woman calls her friend from a maternity hospital. Do you remeber that guy from the New Year's Eve party nine months ago that was dressed as a Chinese?
Yes, why?
He was definitely Chinese... - A couple of friends are holding a joint party for Chinese New Year and Burns Night called Chinese-Burns Night I wasn't keen but they twisted my arm...
- We're two days into the Chinese New Year, the year of the rooster and I'm still writing year of the monkey on my checks
- Are you celebrating Chinese New Year, gurrrl? Cuz I'd like to go home from the baa and ram ewe.
- So my friend says: No one celebrates New Year's Eve "We aren't Chinese." He says.
True story.
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Chinese New Year One Liners
Which chinese new year one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chinese new year? I can suggest the ones about new year and china man.
- What day of the year are there no hackers on PUBG? Chinese New Year.
- New Years celebrations are pretty wild But Chinese New Year is its own animal
- I don't like these Chinese New Year celebrstions They tend to Drag-on.
- China's time zone is 28 days behind ours. "Chinese New Year"
- Why do Chinese throw away their rings on lunar new year? Cuz they love dumpling.
- What does a Lamb say after the Chinese New Year celebration? Baaaah bye!
Heartwarming Chinese New Year Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about chinese new year you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chinese meal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chinese new year pranks.
Russian prime minister Medvedev comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff. Remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff, remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"
Two siblings, a boy and a girl opens their Christmas presents
The boy received a football hat while the girl received a wonderful gold necklace.
The next year, the boy received a puzzle and the girl received an new wardrobe full of clothes.
And the next year again, the boy finds out he got a cheap chinese phone while his sister received an iPhone X.
So this year, after the opening, the girl says: "Haha! mom and dad loves me more!"
The boy replies: "Haha! I don't have a tumor"
chinese new years
2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.
2021. Ox.
All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.
Trump's statement regarding China
Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors all across the country will be plastered with red notices and the empty streets will reek of lingering gunpowder. The people, with nothing to do will turn to day-long drinking and gambling. Children will roam the streets begging for money. So sad."
China foreign ministry: "That's Chinese New Year, d**...."
Awful food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in New York..
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
"Wedding Cake."
