Chinese Food Jokes
110 chinese food jokes and hilarious chinese food puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chinese food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Chinese Food Short Jokes
Short chinese food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chinese food humour may include short chinese meal jokes also.
- My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer. Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.
- There is one thing that United got right: their food is just great. I hear they even serve a Chinese take-out now.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless
- I just had dinner at a Chinese-German fusion restaurant a couple of hours ago The food was great but now I'm hungry for power.
- I hear the Star Wars universe is so advanced, you can get Chinese food directly over the internet... They use an e-wok.
- I just couldn't decide which asian takeout food I like the best, Japanese or Chinese. I ended up calling it a Thai.
- What do Chinese food and entropy calculations have in common? they both feature some dim sums
- Lately, i called a chinese restaurant for a reservation i also mentioned that i would bring my little dog.
They told me: "No outside food allowed!" - After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. Mine read, Be quiet for a little while.
His read, Talk while you have a chance.
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Chinese Food One Liners
Which chinese food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chinese food? I can suggest the ones about chinese restaurant and chinese takeout.
- How much do you weigh after eating Chinese food? Wonton
- Chinese Food is amazing but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice
- Did you hear about the food fight at the Chinese buffet? It was wanton violence.
- Why does Fozzie Bear make lots of Chinese food ? He loves to use his wokka wokka!
- What is the world record for the most Chinese food eaten in one sitting? Roughly wonton.
- What do you call a chinese food truck? A Wok in the Park
- Refusing dessert after eating Chinese food... Will cost you a fortune.
- I was cooking Chinese food down in Yosemite ... It was a Wok in the park.
- What do you call a Chinese woman with a food mixer on her head? Brenda.
- How do you make the best Americanized Chinese food? Like Tso.
- What's the heaviest Chinese food? wonton :3
- What is Batman's least favorite food? A: Chinese takeout
- I just had some mediocre chinese food ... it was Tso Tso
- Which is the best Asian food, Vietnamese or Chinese? It's a Thai.
- What do you call a crazy song chorus about Chinese food? An Insane lo main refrain
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Chinese Food Jokes
What funny jokes about chinese food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chinese takeaway jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chinese food pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building.
The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death.
That weekend at the f**..., the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me."
And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
We have so many nationalities.
It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there.
It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'
He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.'
Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'
I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
I used to do magic in a Chinese restaurant only problem is an hour later everyone wanted to see it again!
Four kids walk into an interview...
Four kids walk into an interview. One is American, one is British, one is African, and one is Chinese. The interviewer asks them all the same question: "In your own opinion, what do you think of the scarcity of food in other countries?" The British kid asks "What is scarcity?" The American kid asks "What are other countries?" The African kid asks "What is food?" And the Chinese kid asks "What is my own opinion?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told a Chinese guy that they always smell like Chinese food.
He said "aw that's lo, mein."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Eating Chinese food is like getting an o**... transplant
There's always a chance your body will reject it.
An International School Teacher
...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"
What kind of chinese food goes on adventures?
Crab ragoonies
How much did Juan weigh after eating Chinese food?
Juan ton
The U.N. initiates a poll...
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
A Muslim man went to China...
And went to a nearby Chinese restaurant. He orders his food and, being the faithful Muslim man he is, he wants to make sure that his food isn't pork.
He asks the waiter "Is this pork?" but the waiter doesn't know any English.
So instead he points at his food and says "Oink?"
The waiter quickly shakes his head and says "Meow"
Three guys are stranded at a deserted island.
A Canadian, an American and a China man are stranded on a deserted island. The Canadian tells the others that he will be in charge of food. The American will be in charge of water and the Chinese man get the task to be in charge of supplies. They split up to do their jobs and decide to meet up later. When the Canadian and the American return, there is no sign of the Chinese man. Days pass by, but they still can't find their friend. One day as they are walking along a path, the Chinese man jumps from the bushes and yells
"SUPPLIES!"
Awful food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in New York..
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
"Wedding Cake."
What do you call an easy lifestyle revolving around eating Chinese food?
Lo Meintenance
You know what they say when you gamble with Chinese food,
you dim sum, you lose some.
There were two chefs. She was Chinese, he was German.
They fell in love, got married, and opened a restaurant together. The food is terrific, and very interesting; however...
A half hour after you eat there, you are hungry for power.
Spanish Dad Joke
A mexican father and son were at the mall and the son finally convinced his dad to try Chinese food.
"But it's so dry!" said the father.
"No it's not, they put lots of stuff on their plates," replied the son.
"Like what?" the father asked.
"Soy Sauce" he answered.
The father stared for a minute and then said, "Hola Sauce... *soy Dad*"
German Chinese food is great but it only has one problem.
An hour later you're hungry for power.
A Dutch, English and Chinese man wash up on an island
A Dutch, English and Chinese man survive a boat accident and wash up on an island. They need food, water and supplies to survive the night.
The Dutch guys says that he will gather the food, the English man will get water and the Chinese man is send for supplies.
When the Dutch and the English man come back with food and water the Chinese man is nowhere to be found. They wait a bit till they can't wait longer and start preparing the food.
The Dutch and English guy start eating and out of nowhere the Chinese guy jumps out the bushes and shouts: " SUPPLIES ".
What do you call a dog in a sub?
A subwoofer!
Now again:
What do you call a dog in a sub?
Chinese food!
A man was arrested for dumping Chinese food on his neighbor's computer
He was charged with wonton destruction of property
What do vampire bats like to eat the most?
Ginger ale and Chinese food
My girlfriend is amazing, she is a Chinese food chef
So shes very Lo Mein-tenance
If i get a rat tail...
If i get a rat tail on my chinese food, should i complain or is it on the house?
The Chinese food was good
But I miss my dog
Pupper vs Doggo
What is a young Doggo?
A Pupper!
Then What is an old Pupper?
Chinese Food!
Every province in China has its own, unique foods.
Panda Chinese Kitchen comes from the Heatlamp province.
TIL that in China, Chinese foods is called "food"
Sometimes, they are pet too.
Apparently George Lucas got tired of retirement
These days he's working on a new Internet Protocol, specifically for delivering Chinese food.
He's calling it eWok.
What's the problem with German-Chinese food?
An hour after you eat it you're hungry for power again!
What app did the Star Wars fan use to order Chinese food?
eWok
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hear about the guy who was prejudiced against Chinese food?
What a riceist.
One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant...
Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.
Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"
I destroyed a bag of leftover Chinese food
It was an act of won ton destruction.
So there was a shopkeeper who didn't liked Chinese
One day a Chinese man came to him and asked:
-I want buy dog food.
-I won't sell you dog food unless you come with dog.
-But I not want to come to shop with a dog.
Later he came with his dog and got his dog food.
The next day he came again and said:
-I want buy cat food.
-I won't sell you cat food unless you come with a cat.
-But I not want to come to shop with cat.
Later he came with his cat and got his cat food.
The next day he came with a paper bag:
-Put hand inside.
-Why?
-Just put hand inside.
-OK.
-Warm?
-Yes.
-Soft?
-Yes.
-I want buy toilet paper.
What does a one night stand and cooking bad Chinese food have in common?
Both end in a wok of shame
Why did we have chinese food on boxing day?
The whole "dog for christmas" thing wasn't a hit
What do you call it when you're constipated after eating Chinese food?
Hung Chow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't paraplegics cook Chinese food?
Because they can't "wok."
Note: May be cheesy and offensive, but I coined this joke when humor could be silly and irreverent, and y'all were begging for non-reposts.
Why is it hard to make chinese food?
Because it takes a lot of wok
What does Lorena Bobbitt use to eat Chinese food?
Chopdicks.
What's the name of the hottest authentic Chinese food restaurant in China?
The Pet Chop
A man was arrested after running a red light and hitting a Chinese food delivery car.
He is charged with careless driving and wonton destruction.
What do you call a cat in the oven?
Chinese food
What's Chinese but doesn't like Chinese food?
A Chinese dog.
Elton John hates ordering Chinese food
Soya seems to be the hardest word
An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.
The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.
When the hotdog is finished cooking and served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.
The American asks, What's wrong?
The Chinese Man replies, When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How I eat Chinese food and how I have s**... are exactly the same.
As hard as I can for 5 minutes, a 20 minute break, as hard as I can for 5 minutes, then a look of disgust.
I like my women like my Chinese food
Sweet, sour, and cheap
I don't care for much Chinese food, but when I see a big plate of egg noodles I go nuts
I'm kind of a Lo meiniac
I was just minding my business at lunch when a police officer came and took a handful of my Chinese food...
it was a blatant violation of my rice.
What do you call a Vietnamese themed restaurant that only serves Indian food in Chinese take out containers?
PhoCurry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like s**... the way Chinese like their food.
d**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when you have s**... with Chinese food
Raw dog
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese woman goes to a local fast food restaurant.
The cashier: What can I get you ma'am?
The woman orders.
The cashier then jumps over the counter and begins groping and attempting to kiss the woman in public,
The woman freaks out and pushed him away screaming Why you do dis??
The cashier says: You said you wanted dirty s**...?!
The woman: I say I wanna number 36!
What do we want?
Chinese food!
*When do we want it?*
Fifteen minute.
Ordered Chinese food last night
When the delivery guy showed up to deliver it I went out to meet him saw it was a little Chinese man and he started shouting isolate isolate I looked at him and laughed and said you're not late it's only been 15 minutes since I ordered
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Chinese food....
Have you ever tried Chinese Meat b**...?
....They are the dogs b**...!
I don't know if this is original but my dad told this to me many years back.
A company decides to enlist a few people to help with the running of their factory, A Swiss for the time, a German for leadership, a French for the food and a Chinese for the supplies. On the first day the German walks around the factory looking at everyone and everyone is doing their jobs, he sees the Swiss and the French working but he can't find the Chinese. The second day the same thing happens, French,Swiss but no Chinese. The third day passes, then the fourth and finally on Friday he doesn't see the Chinese anywhere when suddenly the Chinese jumps from behind a machine with a cake and says SUPPLIES!
A man rang the Chinese restaurant to order some food...
"Can I speak to Ha-Fin?"
"No, Ha-Fin is out."
"Is that Ha-Fout?"
"No, Ha-Fout is not in."
"Well, who is that?"
"I'm Ha-Fup, the receptionist."
"Sorry, I'll call you back when you're not busy."
