Chinese Eye Jokes
34 chinese eye jokes and hilarious chinese eye puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chinese eye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Chinese Eye Short Jokes
Short chinese eye jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chinese eye humour may include short asian eye jokes also.
- A chinese man goes to the eye doctor... The doctor says "You have cataract. " and the chinese guy says "No, I have a rinkin continental."
- At a Chinese restaurant So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said, Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck
- Asian restaraunt Waitress: what would you like?
Man: I would like a bowl of chili.
Waitress: But sir, this is a chinese restraunt.
Man : oh im so sorry. ( Squints eyes)
I would rike a bowl of chiri - Why did the young Chinese boy get frightened while covering his eyes at a horror movie? He was Peking.
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Chinese Eye One Liners
Which chinese eye one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chinese eye? I can suggest the ones about wooden eye and chinese asian.
- The best lines of all the Chinese movies I've seen I think it's probably be their eyes
- Chinese inventions weren't supposed to be just good They were supposed to be eye opening.
- I had to break up with my Chinese girlfriend We were having trouble seeing *eye to eye*
- What did the chinese billionaire say after buying the deer with no eyes? I have no Idea.
- Don't fire till you see the w**... of their eyes. OH MY GOD THEY'RE CHINESE!
- What do you call Chinese baby with one big eye and one small eye? Sum Ting Wong
- what do you call a Chinese man with 2 black eyes who lamped chow
Humorous Chinese Eye Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about chinese eye you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chinese people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chinese eye pranks.
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.
Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.”
“Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards.
“We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested.
I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.
My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Rabbi and the Devil
So, one day, the devil visits a synagogue while all the folk are deep in the middle of whatever it is they do at synagogues.
Once the smoke and clamour clears, the devil steps forth, slicing the air his pitchfork, flashing eyes of fire. At the sight of him, hooves and all, all the men and women in attendance run screaming for their lives out of the synagogue, trailing their children behind them.
As pleased as the devil is with his grand appearance, he can't help but twist his head to look at the rabbi, who's calmly putting his things away for the night with a tired sigh.
"You," the devil says, pointing his spindly finger at him, "rabbi. Do you not know who I am?"
The rabbi only sighs and continues to clear up the place.
The devil steps closer to the man, scalding the floor with each step. "And yet you do not seem to be afraid, why is that?" he hisses, s**... his beard.
The rabbi shrugs. "Why should I be? I've been married to your sister these past forty-three years."
.
.
Credit/Source: video I watched on youtube a while ago. I've probably added/cut-out from the original, but that's the charm of Chinese whispers, no?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chicken Surprise
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant,
and order the 'Chicken Surprise', The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron p**....
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the p**... rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around,
before the lid slams back down.
'Good grief, did you see that ?' she asks her husband.
He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the p**....
He reaches for it and again the lid rises and he sees two little eyes,
looking around before it slams down..
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over,
explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order ?'
The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise'
'Ah ! So sorry,' says the waiter,
'I bring you Peeking Duck by mistake'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Chinese lady s**... at staring contests?
Because she lost her eyes in a car c**... 3 years ago.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey.
What do you call a one eyed, three legged donkey?
A winky wonkey.
What do you call a Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?
A c**... winky wonkey.
What do you call an Elvis impersonating, Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?
A h**...-tonky c**... winky wonkey.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three eyes
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig
What do you call a chimp with three eyes?
A chiiimp
What do you call a kid with three eyes?
Chinese
The President of the United States and the Prime minister of China are comparing their bodyguards.
The president orders his secret service agent to jump off a 40 foot platform. The agent heisitates and does so.
The prime minister immediately orders his bodyguard to do the same. The guard jumps without batting an eye.
The president, feeling a little defeated, orders his bodyguard to jump off a hundred foot platform. The agent turns to the president and, with teary eyes, pleads:"Mister president, please don't do this, I have a family!"
The president hesitates and retracts his order. The chinese minister snorts and orders the same to his body guard.The chinese bodyguard starts climbing without a second thought. The president grabs his arm and says, "Wait man, this is too much! You don't have to do this!"
The chinese bodygaurd shakes off his arm and says:"Mister president, please don't, I have family."
A Chinese man goes to see an eye doctor (Racist)
After the examination, the doctor says "You have a cataract."
The Chinese guy replies, "No, I have a Rincoln Continentar."
Courtesy of Junior in the Sopranos
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Racist joke I heard from The Sopranos
A Chinese man walks into the eye doctors
The doctor said I know why you have trouble seeing, you have a cataract.
The Chinese man said No, I drive a Lincoln.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject
But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.
My dad told me this one so i thought i might share
In a zen monastery far inside China, a conflicted discipule has his mind shrouded by a doubt that he's sure his master, Zhi, knows the answer.
He finds him, and asks:
– "Master Zhi, why does everybody say that we, chinese people, all look alike?"
He pauses for a second, looks at the pupil's eyes and answers:
– "I'm not Master Zhi"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I picked up some Chinese from a local place...
I picked up some Chinese from a local place (won't name them), and as I was driving home, I heard a weird rustling in the bag! I was like, "w**... is in the bag?" I swear I saw something peering at me out of the corner of my eye.
I pulled over hard, slammed the car in park, and gingerly picked up the bag. Again, more rustling, and the moo-shu moved!
I thought, "Please don't tell me there's a rodent in the bag." So I carefully opened the bag, and there it was ...
... A Peeking Duck!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Watch where you eat or it'll watch you
I ordered Chinese from a local place, went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving
I thought w**... is that?
Has something gotten into the bag?
I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.
I was driving so I pulled over, leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the orange chicken!
I thought it's got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down.
And there it was
A Peeking Duck
An American, a Chinese and an Indian went on a world tour by Air.
The American proudly declared "we have reached my homeland USA" pointing at the Statue of Liberty.
After some hours, the Chinese pointed at the Great Wall of China and exclaimed "friends, we have reached China".
More hours went by and all eyes were on the Indian. He calmly opened the window and put his hand outside. When he pulled his arm back, his wristwatch was gone. Unconcerned, he announced "Guys, welcome to India."
My Asian eye doctor
Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my eyes, glaucoma test, etc. Finally, he sat back and said, "I know why you have trouble seeing while driving. You have a cataract."
"Bad guess, doc," I replied. "I have a Mercedes."
I ordered from this Chinese restaurant recently
(won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving back home heard the bags rustling and moving. I thought what on earth is that? Has something gotten into the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.
Because I was driving at the time, I pulled over, leaned forward picked the bag up put it on the passenger seat and there it was again more rustling and little eyes looking out from the bag. I thought it's got to be a rat or mouse or something so I carefully pulled the bag open....And there it was ...
A peeking duck.
