The Best 34 Chinese Asian Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chinese Asian jokes. There are some chinese asian cantonese jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chinese asian qing puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chinese Asian Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?

Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit?

Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.

A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...

Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."

A young Chinese man is asking a wise monk:

"Master Chong-Li, why does everyone think we Asian people all look the same?"

and he responds: "Who the hell is master Chong-Li?"


I went to my favorite bar last night.

A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".

The reason I married an Asian chick...

Is so I get to eat Chinese every night.

In the 18th century, a hopeful Asian laborer landed in America and went straight to the employment office.

He didn't speak a word of English, and the men at the employment office couldn't figure out where he was from. They took a vote to see if he was Chinese or Japanese.

It was a Thai.

Asian eye problems

So a Chinese man is having trouble with one of his eyes and goes to see the optometrist. When the testing is over, the optometrist tells the man, "I'm sorry, you have a cataract" in which the Chinese man replies "No I dont! I have a rinkoln continental!"

What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?

Con-grab-ur-asians!!

My Asian eye doctor

Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my eyes, glaucoma test, etc. Finally, he sat back and said, "I know why you have trouble seeing while driving. You have a cataract."

"Bad guess, doc," I replied. "I have a Mercedes."

You can explore chinese asian han chinese reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chinese asian dark skinned dad jokes. There are also chinese asian puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What does a crab have in common with a Chinese guy who gets run over by a bus?

They're both crushed Asians.

I met a Chinese guy at a party and told him, Do I know you? Are you Chris Chen?

He said, No. I'm Eric. Do all Asian guys look the same to you?

Me: No, I meant do you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?

A English businessman was rushing through an airport when

A English businessman was rushing through an airport when all of a sudden, he bumps into a tiny Asian women.

She immediately says, "I'm sorry!" in a Chinese-english accent.

In a hurry, the businessman says, "I'm sorry too."

She responds with, "I'm sorry three!" in broken english.

Confused, the businessman stops and says, "What are you sorry for?"

She yells, "I'm sorry five!!!"

All Chinese born this year are white...

...because being born in the year of the Rooster makes them cock-Asians.

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

It's strange disliking Chinese food while having an Asian Fetish

I'd like to eat out Chinese but I hate eating out Chinese

What do United Airlines and an Asian restaurant have in common?

Chinese take out.

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed asian


My father is Irish and my mother is Chinese, so I guess you could say...

I'm "Cork-Asian"

A tourist in Chinatown sees a sign advertising "Hans Olafsen's Laundry"

He goes inside to check it out, and there's an old Asian man in the corner.
"How did this place get named 'Hans Olafsen's Laundry'?" he asks.
"It's named after me, Hans Olafsen." said the man.
"That's an unusual name for a Chinese man" observed the tourist.
"When I was in the immigration center, I followed a man named Hans Olafsen. When they asked my name, I told them 'Sam Ting'".

Asian restaraunt

Waitress: what would you like?
Man: I would like a bowl of chili.
Waitress: But sir, this is a chinese restraunt.
Man : oh im so sorry. ( Squints eyes)
I would rike a bowl of chiri

Which is the best Asian food, Vietnamese or Chinese?

It's a Thai.

The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu.

It's Secret Asian Flan

Did you hear about the Chinese man who pretended to be tinsel?

He was a decor-asian

What do you call a particularly crabby Chinese grandma?

A crust-asian.

^(I'm sorry....)

What do you call a dirty Chinese crab?

A crusty asian

What do you call a Chinese hooker?

A Cock-Asian

Why did Richard Spencer break up with his Asian girlfriend when he saw her working at a Chinese grocery store?

Because he realized she was a rice trader.

Chinese salesman

I had a long talk with a Chinese man selling shoes the other day. It was a pleasant converse-asian.

White people do make weirder food than Asians

The Chinese just put minced pork in dough and called it dumplings, but Germans just HAD to use pig intestines

Why did the Chinese self driving truck crash on its way out the factory?

Asian drivers

How did the Chinese Vicar introduce herself?

By singing "I'm Asian Grace."

I can't get an asian actor for the commercial I'm filming.

It's a simple role. They're a cook at a Chinese restaurant. No lines simply wok on wok off.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chinese asian shan jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chinese asian japanese piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes