The Best 61 Chine Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chine jokes. There are some chine peking jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chine back puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chine Jokes and Puns

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man?

(Censored)

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50

Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.

Riceless.

I just saw my Chinese waiter give my order to someone who looks nothing like me. I get it now.

Oh wait, my bad. That wasn't my waiter.

Chine joke, I just saw my Chinese waiter give my order to someone who looks nothing like me. I get it now.

Chinese takeout $20.00.. Gas to pick it up $10.00..

Getting home and realising they have forgotten one of your containers..

Riceless

A Chinese woman storms into a bank and up to the front of the line.

She slams her hand down on the counter and demands the teller's attention.

"My stock," she says, "yesterday was worth one hundred dollar a share! Now is ninety five! Why? You try to rip me off?"

The teller smiles and says "No ma'am. Fluctuations."

The lady's face turns a bright shade of crimson and she screams "We'll fluc you white people too!"


After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside!

It was unfortunate.

The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers...

The couriers take the breast milk from the factory where the mother works to the factory where the baby works.

Chine joke, The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers...

There were 3 Chinese men...

Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.

They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.

Han decided that he would be Huck.

Chan decided that he would be Chuck.

And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.

I am sorry five.

A Chinese man is walking down the street after just arriving in the U.S. for the first time. He possesses a limited understanding of English. While caught up in the splendor of the city he accidentally bumps into another person.

The Chinese man quickly responds "I'm Sorry!"

The American man says, "I am sorry too."

The Chinese man says "I am sorry three."

The American says "What are you sorry for?"

The Chinese man replies "I am sorry five."

Chinese magican

Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery...

He thanked me.

You can explore chine armor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chine man dad jokes. There are also chine puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Chinese takeout: $10.25. Gas to get there and back: $3.25.

Realizing that you got all the way home without one of the containers: riceless

Chinese Sick Day

Ho Chow calls in to work and say,

"Hey boss, I no come work today, I very sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come work today"

The boss says, "You know something Ho Chow, I really need you today. When I get sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask for sex. That make everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later ho Chow calls again and says,

"I try what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon. You have really nice house by the way!"

Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless

A chinese couple had a baby

The baby turned out to be white. The father looked sternly at the mother and said: "Two Wongs don't make a white."

What do chinese people do when they have an erection?

they vote

What is a chinese homosexual videogamer called?

Gay Ming

How do you tell apart a Chinese from a Japanese?

With a Geiger Counter.

How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?

It weighs

*Won-ton*


Chinese Food is amazing

but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice

Chinese Takeaway

Chinese Takeaway - Β£24

Petrol To pick it up - Β£2

Getting home and realizing the twats have forgotten one of your containers.

Riceless

A Chinese girl asked to get a ride from me.

so I said no problem give me your number I will call you when I leave home

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "HOLD ON!"

Then her friend said, "She means ....666-3629."

A Chinese guy walks into a bar...

A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :

β€’ My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?

β€’ Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?

β€’ No, it's because you are drinking my beer.

Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States

Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.

Chu became Chuck.

Bu became Buck.

Hu became Huck.

Su and Fu decided to stay in China.

Do you know about the Chinese author who wrote a million page book?

It was Wei Tu Long.

9 out of 10 Chinese Doctor Have Cataracts...

the 10th drives a Rincoln

Chinese kid was born before the due date

Parents named him Sudden Lee.

I have a Chinese friend with really bad internet

His name is Hai Ping

Why can't Chinese people have white babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white

Chinese man calls in sick

Ho Chow calls in work and say, "Hey, I no come work today. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come to work."

The boss says, "You know what Ho, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Ho Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

How can you tell that a Chinese person has been in your house?

Your cat's missing, your computer's fixed, and he's still trying to back out of the driveway.

My Chinese friend died the other day...

So Yung.

A Chinese guy buys a well from a Jewish guy

The next day the Chinese walks up to the well; when the Jew runs up to him and shouts, "STOP! I sold you the well; not the water!"

The Chinese guy smirks and says "That's exactly why I'm here. How could you store your water in my well and not pay rent?!"

Chinese takeout: 13.99 gas to get there: 3.99

Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: riceless

My Chinese son was born before his due date

We called him Sudden Lee

My Chinese buddy died last week...

So Yung.

All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago

...and they still don't have any illegal Mexicans.

A Chinese man walks into a bar.

He goes up to the bartender and asks for a pint of Guinness.

The barman says "No I'm sorry buddy, I can't serve you."

"Why is it because I'm Chinese?!!" he says.

The barman says, "No, you're too young."

The Chinese man looks baffled...

"How do you know my name?"

Why are Chinese kids so good at math?

Because their dog doesn't eat their homework

A Chinese couple gave birth to an albino baby

...which just goes to show that two Wongs do make a white.

What do Chinese restaurants do when their lights are too bright?

Dim sum

Chinese takeout: $8. Tip :$2. Getting home

and finding out that they forgot part of your order: riceless.

Why can't two Chinese parents make a white child

Two Wongs don't make a white

Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)

A Chinese kid asks his father, "Dad, why do they say, that all Chinese people look alike ?"

He replies, "I'm not your dad."

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer.

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

Why do Chinese people love playing Among Us?

It's the only place they can vote

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat

So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.

Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa?

Cause they're the ones who make the toys

Chinese New Year, Mardi Gras and Valentines Day are too close...

I don’t know what to paint on my nails.

How did a Chinese guy have a Tamil name:

I recently met a Chinese man in Toronto and got to know that his name was "Kannaswami .

I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"

He said -"Many, many years ago when I first went to Canada, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee.

The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?"

He replied "Kannaswami".

Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"

I said, "Sem Ting".

A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.

Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.

"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..

"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.

"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.

"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?

Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.

"What was that for?" asks the Jew.

"It's for the Titanic."

"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."

"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.

My Chinese roommate just asked, "Have you seen my cocaine?"

I replied, "Yeah. I loved him in The Italian Job."

What do we want? A Chinese dictator!

When do we want it? Mao!

A Chinese husband and wife are having a busy night in their restaurant..

..when an old friend of the husband makes a surprise visit, the two men have a few drinks to celebrate and after a while the husband tells his wife they are going to a nearby pub, but won't be long.

The husband eventually comes home at 3am and gently awakens his wife and asks "Hey, what about a little sixty nine?"

She flies into a rage, "You go out drinking with your friend, you knew how busy the restaurant was, you leave me to do all the hard work, and now you expect me to get up and make you Mongolian Lamb with Snow Peas!?"

I don't know how the Chinese fell for Mao and the communist party

I mean, there were a freakin ton of red flags.

How come chinese kids dont belive in santa claus?

Because they're the ones that make the toys.

What did the Chinese say to Genghis Khan before he launched his invasion?

"What are you doing, steppe bro!?"

Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal?

It was non-binary

A chinese baby was born before due date

His parents named him Earl Lee

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chine knight jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chine wongs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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