chinaman Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious chinaman puns

Of all the racial slurs, "chinaman" has to be the laziest.

A black guy probably came up with it...

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An englishman, a German and a chinaman crash on a deserted island...

A plane crashes in the pacific ocean, and only three survivors wash ashore a deserted island: An Englishman, a German and a Chinaman
(A more stereotypical joke setup you'd be hard-pressed to find).

So the German takes charge, tells the two others: "you brit, build us a shelter, I will go out to find food. You, chinese boy, there must have been something left from the plane, take care of the supplies".

Several hours later, the german dude comes back to camp, where the englishman has built passable accomodation for their little band of refugees. However, the third survivor is nowhere to be found... well shit, he was probably eaten by a wild animal whjile salvaging...too bad for him.

they make themselves comfortable and start eating the berries and coconuts gathered when suddenly the chinaman jumps out of a nearby bush and yells "Supplise!"

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A Chinaman and a Jew were drinking in a bar

when all of a sudden the Jew knocks the Chinaman out of his barstool

Chinaman: What's that for?!!

Jew: That's for Pearl Harbor!!

Chinaman: That wasn't us, that was the Japanese! To which the Jew replies, Chinese, Japanese, Siamese. they're all the same!

They put the instance aside and continue drinking.

A little while passes and the Chinaman out of nowhere gives the Jew a mean left hook knocking him on his ass.

Jew: What in hell is that for?!!

Chinaman: That's for the Titanic!!

Jew: That wasn't the Jews that was an iceberg!! without missing a beat the Chinaman replies, Iceberg, Steinberg, Goldberg it's all the same thing.

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A miner walks into a San Francisco bar.

He's been working out in the gold mines for 6 months and is desperately craving the company of a woman. He walks up to the bartender and asks, "I don't suppose you have any women? I haven't had sex in months..."
The bartender replies, "No, sorry... BUT we do have Chinaman Charlie out back if you want".
The miner says "Thanks, but I don't swing that way", and turns around and heads back to the mines.

He comes back in another 6 months, and asks again. "Do you have any women since I was here last time?"
"No, but we still have Chinaman Charlie"
"Sorry, I don't swing that way". The miner buys a whiskey and turns around and walks out the door and goes back to work in the mines.

6 months after that, the miner comes back to the bar.
"You get any women? It's been a year since my first visit..."
"No man, sorry. We still have Chinaman Charlie though".

Now, the miner is pretty desperate at this point. It's been 18 months since he last got laid, and he's tired of waiting. After some deep consideration, the miner sighs and says, "Alright fine. The only people that'll know about this is you, me, and Chinaman Charlie, right?"

"Yep. And the two men that hold him down," says the bartender.
"Why would there be two men holding him down?" The miner asks with a confused look on his face.

"Chinaman Charlie doesn't swing that way either".

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An Italian, An Irishman and a Chinese fellow.

Hopefully not posted earlier.

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, You're in charge of sweeping. He then jabs a thin finger at the Irishman, You're in charge of digging. Finally, he turns to the Chinaman, And you're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile.

Two hours later, the foreman returns to find the pile of sand untouched, and the Italian and Irishman standing nearby. Why didn't you touch it? he says. The Italian looks at him. We didn't have a broom or shovel. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and we couldn't find him. Annoyed, the foreman storms off to find the errant Oriental. Just then, the Chinaman leaps from behind the sand and yells Supplies!

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How long is a Chinaman?

How long IS a chinaman

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A man goes to prison

On his first night, he's pretty nervous. Somebody shouts out "34" and everybody else laughs. He thinks this is weird, but then 5 minutes later, somebody else shouts "23" and everybody else laughs. Then after another 10 minutes, a third prisoner shouts "16" and everybody laughs. His cellmate sees his confusion and tells him "Well, we've been in prison so long telling the same jokes over and over that we decided to just give them numbers. 34 is the one about the nun, the priest, and the antelope. 23 is the one about the Chinaman and the red pot, and 16 is the one about the old cowboy who couldn't piss."

Satisfied, the prisoner goes to rest. 5 minutes later, he hears another prisoner shout "12." This time nobody laughs, so the prisoner looks to his cellmate, who just looks disgusted nd mutters "Bobby never could tell a joke..."

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A German, a Mexican, and a Chinaman

A German, a Mexican, and a Chinaman all come to the U.S. together eager to live the American dream. Ready to work, they go around knocking on doors asking if anyone needs help. An old man answers the door and informs them that he needs a new barn built. The three agree to do it and follow the old man behind the house.

The old man explains what he wants and leaves them to it telling them that they'll find tools in the old barn.

The German takes charge and says, "I'll design it and supervise the job." Points to the Mexican and says, "You'll do the labor and dig the foundation," and points to the Chinaman and says, "You'll be in charge of the supplies."

Immediately the Chinaman takes off. After a little while the German completes the design and the Mexican gets right to work. A little while later the foundation has been excavated and the German and the Mexican look at each other wondering where the Chinaman is with the supplies. About half an hour later, the Mexican climbs out of the hole and joins the German in the search for the Chinaman.

They are look around the old barn and as they're about to round the corner, the Chinaman jumps out with a smile on his face and his hands flailing in the air and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

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A Chinaman goes to see an eye doctor.

After the exam, the doctor says, 'I know why you're having trouble.' The China man says, 'Why?' The doctor says, 'You have a Cataract'. The China man says 'No, I have a Rincoln Continental.

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A Chinaman goes to the eye doctor..

After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "Why?" Doctor said, "You have a cataract." Chinaman says, "No, I have a Rincoln Continental."

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A Chinaman goes to the eye doctor....

Eye doctor says "You've got a cataract."

Chinaman says "No, I drive Rincoln Continental."

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It's Friday you Greek prick

So a Chinese bloke and a Greek had take-away shops next door to each other in a fairly busy area, so it was imperative that they got there early and open their shops in order to be ready for the morning breakfast rush.

Every Friday morning, the Greek would ask the Chinaman what day it is.

"It's *flyday* you *Gleek Plick*" was the response every time.

Much to the Greek's amusement, the Chinaman continually ruined the pronunciation of the sentence. After a few weeks had passed, the Greek had gotten fed up that the Chinaman hadn't actually improved his English at all, where the Greek had tried very hard and paid for classes so that he may better his English.

"What day is it today, Chinaman?" asked the Greek, getting very frustrated,

"IT'S "*FLYDAY* YOU *GLEEK PLICK*" replied the Chinaman, who was also fed up with the weekly taunting.

The Greek, explodes and yells back at the Chinaman "R, ARRRR, IT'S PRONOUNCED *FRRRRRRRRRRRRRIDAY*. WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT? WHAT IS SO DAMN DIFFICULT?"

The Chinaman, upset, walks back into his shop and for the next week practises the seemingly difficult letter to pronounce.

The very next Friday, the Greek was waiting outside his shop for the Chinaman to arrive. Finally, he shows up and stares the Greek down. The Greek asks the question he'd waited all week to ask, "What day is it Mr. Chinaman?"

The Chinaman cracks a smile and replies, "Its *frrrrrrrrrriday* you *gleek plick*".

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A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument...

A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument when the Jew rears back and punches the Chinaman in the nose. The Chinaman says, "What was that for?"

The Jew responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor you son of a bitch."

The Chinaman looks confused and says, "Pearl Harbor was bombed by the Japanese. I'm Chinese!"

So the Jew says, "Japanese. Chinese. What's the difference?!" Then the Chinaman rears back and punches the Jew in the nose.

The Jew says, "What was that for?"

The Chinaman responds, "That was for the Titanic!"

The Jew looks confused and says, "The Titanic?? The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!"

So the Chinaman says, "Iceberg. Goldberg. What's the difference?!"

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How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?

Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

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There were three guys in Hell - Afghan, American, and a Chinese man.

They asked Satan to let them call their family. The American called and talked for 10 minutes. He payed $1,000. The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes. He payed $2,000. The Afghan talked for an hour and only paid $10. The other men complained and Satan responded, "A call from Afghanistan to Hell is local."

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So a Chinaman goes to the eye doctor

and after giving a check up, the doctor says, "I see what the problem is: you have a cataract."
"No I don't," the Chinaman responds, "I drive a Lincoln Continental."

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A chinaman goes to see his optometrist

A chinaman goes to see his optometrist and the doctor says, "Well sir, I think I see you're problem, you seem to have a cataract." The patient replies, "No, you're wrong, I drive a Rincoln Continentu."

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A Jew, Chinaman, American and a Indian are sitting around a table

... and they're all sipping on their bourbon. They're all very rich and they chinaman says " I think I will buy Apple. " And they all nod in approval save the jew.
Then the Indian says " I want to buy Google. " And they all nod in approval save the jew.
Then the American says " I want to buy Samsung " And they all nod in approval save the jew.

Then the jew shudders and says " sorry, not selling. "

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A Chinaman walks into a brothel

He asks the Maรฎtre D for a job application. She asks him, "What is your name, and what makes you think you're qualified to be a male escort?"
The man responds, "I'm Hung, and I'm hung."

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How long is a china-man?

Excuse the question mark, "How Long" is in fact a china man.

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Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman?

They are both crustaceans.

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A Chinaman goes to the eye doctor.

The eye doctor says "I know why you're having trouble, you have a cataract". The Chinaman says " I don't have a cataract, I have a Rincoln continental".

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How Long is a China-man?

I always thought he was Korean.

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chinaman goes to see the eye doctor

so a chinaman goes to see and eye doctor, having problems seeing.
doctor says "ah i see the problem, youve got a cataract"
chinaman says "no i drive a rincorn"

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(From Grandpa RIP) A Chinaman walks into an optometrist's office. The optometrist says, Well it seems like you have a cataract.

The chinaman says Nooooo, I drive a Rincoln Continental

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A Chinaman visits an optometrist

A chinaman goes to see an optometrist because he is having trouble seeing.

Optometrist: "You have a catarac"

Chinaman: "No, I have a rincorn continenar"


Credit to Junior from The Sopranos... and yes I know the spelling is off, but it sounds better when I read it like this.

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Why was the Chinaman tired?

He was burning the DVD at both ends.

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A newfie sits next to a chinaman on a greyhound bus

And says "So, where you be headin'?"

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What does a chinaman do he has an erection?

He votes

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What do you call a Chinaman who is always leaving the same letters on the sidewalk?

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Why didn't the chinaman attend his sister's funeral?

He couldn't bereave it

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What do you call a Chinaman that does everything given what other people do?

Bayesian.

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What did the Chinaman say to his sauce?

I don't have time for roux!

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How do you get a Korean man fired up?

Call him a Chinaman

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What did the Chinaman cleaning the rotisserie say to the crestfallen window shopper?

No Peking!

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What are the most funny Chinaman jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Chinaman? Well, here are the best Chinaman dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Chinaman pick up lines to share with friends.

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