Charming Humor China Jokes with Loads of Fun
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
What country does Santa visit first?
China, to stock up on the presents for the rest of them.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Italian are all on a plane.
All three are heading to China for 2 months for a business trip. The Frenchman and the Englishman start talking about the night before:
Englishman: "I'll have you know I made love to my wife 3 times and this morning she told me she adored me"
Frenchman: "Ha ha! That is very good my friend, however, I believe I have you beat; last night I made love to my wife 6 times and this morning she told me should would never love anyone else!"
The Englishman congratulates the Frenchman and then they look over at the Italian who hasn't said anything the whole flight.
Englishman: "How many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
Italian: "Once"
Frenchman: "Once? What did she say in the morning?"
Italian: "Don't stop"
There were 3 Chinese men...
Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
What do they call Peter Pan in China?
Peter Wok
Why are there no casinos in China?
They hate Tibet.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth....
And the rest was made in China.
China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it was revealed that d**... Fangxiao was under the minimum age of 16
And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.
Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea.
Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned
Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work.
China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
You can explore china vachina reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean china made in china dad jokes. There are also china puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Apple Stock
Apple's stock surges on announcement of two-child policy change in China
How Long is a battleship. True or false?
False. How Long is a man from China.
Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population
#1. USA: 318.9 million
#2. China: 1.357 billion
#3. Japan: 173.3 million
#4. Australia: 48 as of last census
A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States
Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.
Chu became Chuck.
Bu became Buck.
Hu became Huck.
Su and Fu decided to stay in China.
My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day...
Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, "60 Watts - Made in China."
As a middle class first world citizen, I still feel I know just as much about working in a sweatshop in China as the children themselves.
After all, I've walked a mile in their shoes.
Break ups are the worst in China...
You see her face everywhere.
What's all the fuss about Donald Trump's Russian Ties?
I know for a fact that all his Ties are made in China.
A man went to China.
He hired a p**... to keep him company during the night, and when things got serious, she kept shouting a word in Chinese.
The next day, the man went to a golf course with a couple of business associates. They had a good afternoon until a person hit a hole in one. Everyone started shouting in excitement, and the man decided to join in, shouting the word he hears last night, thinking it was that of excitement.
Everyone turned to the man in silence. After a full minute of awkward silence, the one who made the shot asked "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
My grandma is kind of like the Chinese government.
Visitors only see the nice china.
I can tell my new s**... toy was made in China.
She speaks Chinese.
I think weekends are made in China
They don't last very long, and they take forever to arrive.
I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China"
It was her made-in name
Why does China put all their casinos in Macau?
Because they don't like Tibet.
The Great Wall Of China Is Famous
Because it's the only Chinese product that lasted this long.
In America, dogs are k-9s
But in China, dogs are e-10
Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?
Employee discounts
Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States
In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China
Say what you want about Trump's wall
But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don't see any Mexicans
Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.
One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.
What is the most common illness in China?
Kung Flu.
In America some dogs are K-9
In China some dogs are E-10
I'm glad China only spread a virus and not a bear.
Otherwise we'd have a pandademic.
which country was the first to get coronavirus?
China, they got it right off the bat.
India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.
Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Why does China have the best baseball team?
Because they took out the whole world with one bat
Say what you like about China...
[This post has been removed by the Communist Party of China (CPC) of the People's Republic of China at the discretion of General Xi Jinping]
All countries eventually got Coronavirus...
But China got it right off the bat
In America, dogs are K9.
In China, dogs are E10.
What's the difference between the China Virus and the Vietnam War?
Trump dodged the Vietnam War.
China should have a cricket team.
They can take out the whole world with one bat
(popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team?
They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..
Which dinosaur does the government of the People's Republic of China hate?
Taiwanasaurus
People of China, do you want to hear what happened on Tiananmen square in 1989?
No tanks.
Everybody's so up in arms about Covid, but I see it as progress.
Nothing else made in China has ever lasted this long.
China should never take part in the Cricket World Cup
They can screw over any country with just a bat
I don't know why people hate China. I love it and can't say I have a whole lot wrong with it.
It just s**... they've been stuck on that island for so long.
A joke I heard while working in China a few years ago
A Chinese state-owned container ship is highjacked by pirates. A Chinese Communist Party official is sent to negotiate.
The pirates' leader, waving his gun, shouted: the ransom is TEN MILLION dollars! Or everyone on the ship will die!
The official responded, calmly: I will give you twenty million, but you'll write me a receipt of forty million.
Why is s**... i**... in China?
Destruction of government property
I'm convinced COVID couldn't have come from China…
Nothing from China lasts 2 years
China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons.
One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
Too soon for COVID jokes?
COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end.
Why did Trump throw so many plates against the wall like a baby?
He wanted to seem tough on china.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure.
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant;
in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant;
in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant;
in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant;
in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant;
in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant;
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
What is the difference between Wuhan, China and Las Vegas, Nevada?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
Two elves are winding down in the North Pole bar after a long day of making toys.
After downing some shots of peppermint schnapps, the first elf says to the second, That COVID outbreak in China has really messed up the toy production schedule. I don't think Santa has ever pushed us so hard! .
The second one added, Yeah, things were so bad today that Rudolph and Blitzen were even called in to work on the assembly line.
The first one got an odd look on his face and said, Well, that explains why those Raisinets I found on the floor tasted so strange.
Recent political joke circulating in China
Three men who don't know each other sits in a prison cell. Each explains why he was arrested.
The first man said: I opposed covid testing.
The second man said: I supported covid testing.
The third man said: I administered the covid tests.
In the beginning, God created Earth.
Everything else was made in China.
3 friends from China immigrated to the US
3 Chinese guys Bu, Chu and Fu, who were friends since childhood moved to US for work.
For their names being Chinese, they weren't getting shortlisted for interviews.
A guys suggested them to Americanise their names.
When they asked how.
He suggested add something to your existing names so it ends with "c**...".
So Bu became Buck.
Chu became Chuck.
And Fu went back to China.
Anniversary
On their 25th anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner.
Their teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for them when they returned.
After they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!
I suppose, the husband responded, we could vacuum.
I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals.
Well, that balloon has burst.
An Apple Factory in China is expected to cut production of iPhones by 18% in response to ongoing worker protests.
The workers' main demand is "more playtime".
