China Jokes
136 china jokes and hilarious china puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about china that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a great joke to laugh and to show off your China knowledge? Look no further! Read this article for the best China jokes including made in China, ancient China, India vs China, Peking, Shanghai, and vaChina.
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Funniest China Short Jokes
Short china jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The china humour may include short chinese people jokes also.
- China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons. One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
- Too soon for COVID jokes? COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end. - My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day... Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, "60 Watts - Made in China."
- What's the difference between the China Virus and the Vietnam War? Trump dodged the vietnam War.
- Why did Trump throw so many plate against the wall like a baby? He wanted to seem tough on china.
- Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work. China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
- I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals. Well, that balloon has burst.
- Why does China have the best baseball team? Because they took out the whole world with one bat
- Say what you want about Trump's wall But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don't see any Mexicans
- China should never take part in the cricket World Cup They can screw over any country with just a bat
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China One Liners
Which china one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with china? I can suggest the ones about chinese language and ancient chinese.
- China should have a cricket team. They can take out the whole world with one bat
- In America, dogs are k-9s But in China, dogs are e-10
- Break ups are the worst in China... You see her face everywhere.
- Why are there no casino in China? They hate Tibet.
- What do you call a knight made entirely out of fine china? Sir Ramic.
- I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name
- In America, dogs are K9. In China, dogs are E10.
- I'm glad China only spread a virus and not a bear. Otherwise we'd have a pandademic.
- Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike? Employee discounts
- All countries eventually got Coronavirus... But China got it right off the bat
- How Long is a battleship. True or false? False. How Long is a man from China.
- In America some dogs are K-9 In China some dogs are E-10
- People of China, do you want to hear what happened on Tiananmen square in 1989? No tanks.
- My grandma is kind of like the Chinese government. Visitors only see the nice china.
- Which dinosaur does the government of the People's Republic of China hate? Taiwanasaurus
Made In China Jokes
Here is a list of funny made in china jokes and even better made in china puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I think weekends are made in China They don't last very long, and they take forever to arrive.
- What's all the fuss about Donald Trump's Russian Ties? I know for a fact that all his Ties are made in China.
- In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.... And the rest was made in China.
- Everybody's so up in arms about Covid, but I see it as progress. Nothing else made in China has ever lasted this long.
- God made man... Everything else is made in China.
- I like my women how I like my American Flag... Made in China.
- What are the most common 3 words used all around the world? Made in China.
- Do you know why iPhones have small "i"s? Cuz they made in China.
- How do we know that the COVID virus wasn't made in China? Because it has been 3 years and it's still working
- what do you call a knight made of fine china? sir ramic
China Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny china man jokes and even better china man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you get the Asian out of a China man? Spin him around until he's disoriented.
- A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat.
- A man in China was killed by a group of underaged doctors. He died by euthanasia.
- How Long is a China mans name. Thats a statement not a question.
- What was the name of the heaviest man in china? Won ton
- Did you hear about the tourist who got lost in China? I dunno man, he just got disoriented
- A man walks into a restaurant in Mainland China. He calls the waiter over and tells him,
'That steak was rubbery.'
'Thank you for the compriment, sir, and have a rubbery evening!' - How long is a china-man? Excuse the question mark, "How Long" is in fact a china man.
- A man in China is very angry at a colleague And taunts him by saying that he's one in a million.
- Why did the man from China get lost when he came to America? He was disoriented.
Ancient China Jokes
Here is a list of funny ancient china jokes and even better ancient china puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Ancient China should be credited for inventing toilet paper. The inventor was Wai Ping.
- Two philosphers in ancient china debate philosophy over ceramic cups of saké.
Charming Humor China Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about china you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean country jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make china pranks.
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
The F in China stands for freedom
Friend: There isn't a F in China
Me: Exactly
Joke about how dangerous China is
An American tourist came to China and fell into a construction ditch, he came out, injured, and angrily told the tour guide, "In America, in a dangerous area, we always put up red flags to warn people! Why wasn't there one here?"
The Chinese tour guide very calmly replied, "Didn't you already see it when you entered the country?"
Why doesn't democracy work in china?
Because no one wants to hold an e**....
What country does Santa visit first?
China, to stock up on the presents for the rest of them.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Italian are all on a plane.
All three are heading to China for 2 months for a business trip. The Frenchman and the Englishman start talking about the night before:
Englishman: "I'll have you know I made love to my wife 3 times and this morning she told me she adored me"
Frenchman: "Ha ha! That is very good my friend, however, I believe I have you beat; last night I made love to my wife 6 times and this morning she told me should would never love anyone else!"
The Englishman congratulates the Frenchman and then they look over at the Italian who hasn't said anything the whole flight.
Englishman: "How many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
Italian: "Once"
Frenchman: "Once? What did she say in the morning?"
Italian: "Don't stop"
Apparently the most common surname In China is Chang.
...correct me if you think that's Wong.
There were 3 Chinese men...
Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.
The Only Malaysian Airlines Survivor
Please spare a thought and your sympathy for the man who told his wife he was going to China on Malaysian Airlines flight MH370...
And now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment.
Why isn't China a democracy?
Because a billion people would be talking about their *erections*.
How do cats in China say hello?
mǐ hǎo
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
What do they call Peter Pan in China?
Peter Wok
How do you end world hunger?
Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.
China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it was revealed that d**... Fangxiao was under the minimum age of 16
And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.
Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea.
Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned
Apple Stock
Apple's stock surges on announcement of two-child policy change in China
Three Chinese went to America..
Three Chinese named Chu, Bu, and Fu went to America.
Upon reaching there they decided to Americanise their names.
So Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck..
And Fu decided to return to China.
Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population
#1. USA: 318.9 million
#2. China: 1.357 billion
#3. Japan: 173.3 million
#4. Australia: 48 as of last census
Four Chinese brothers....
...named Chu, Bu, Hu, and Fu decided to go to the United States of America. They had to Americanize their names in order to get a Visa... so Chu became CHUCK, Bu became BUCKS, HU became HUCK, and FU decided to remain in China...
A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States
Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.
Chu became Chuck.
Bu became Buck.
Hu became Huck.
Su and Fu decided to stay in China.
As a middle class first world citizen, I still feel I know just as much about working in a sweatshop in China as the children themselves.
After all, I've walked a mile in their shoes.
Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America.
Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding c**... to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."
Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?
They need clean air.
My friend said that China might be considering assisted s**... for teenagers
He's probably wrong, but if he's right, that would mark the beginning of euthanasia of youth in Asia.
A man went to China.
He hired a p**... to keep him company during the night, and when things got serious, she kept shouting a word in Chinese.
The next day, the man went to a golf course with a couple of business associates. They had a good afternoon until a person hit a hole in one. Everyone started shouting in excitement, and the man decided to join in, shouting the word he hears last night, thinking it was that of excitement.
Everyone turned to the man in silence. After a full minute of awkward silence, the one who made the shot asked "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
I can tell my new s**... toy was made in China.
She speaks Chinese.
Why does China put all their casinos in Macau?
Because they don't like Tibet.
The Great Wall Of China Is Famous
Because it's the only Chinese product that lasted this long.
One moment everything's fine, the next you've ruined everything.
You're like a boolean china shop.
I don't know why everyone thinks the wall won't work.
China built one over 2000 years ago and they STILL don't have any Mexicans.
Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States
In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China
China has announced a tariff on pork imports from the US
It's unclear if they are referring to food or tourists at this time.
China has a border wall
And they have no Mexicans
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
What's worse than an elephant in the china shop?
A hedgehog in the c**... factory.
Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.
One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.
My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our buddy Ty is now the state boxing champion.
People from China refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
If we did build a wall, it definitely would work
China built a wall, do you see any Mexicans there?
What is the most common illness in China?
Kung Flu.
You know what, I'm starting to think the wall might be a good idea.
I mean, China built one and I don't see any Mexicans over there.
which country was the first to get coronavirus?
China, they got it right off the bat.
So how's life in totalitarian China?
Oh you know... can't complain
India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.
Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.
Ever wondered why China doesn't have a baseball team?
Because they ate all their bats.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Say what you like about China...
[This post has been removed by the Communist Party of China (CPC) of the People's Republic of China at the discretion of General Xi Jinping]
In china, they invented a machine that can capture thieves
They tested out the machine in china for a week and they caught 2 thieves. The following week the russians decided to test this machine in Moscow, they caught 10 thieves. Seeing the machine's success, the Mexican government wanted to try this in the City of Mexico, they caught 400 thieves. Then the Americans caught interest and decided to test the machine in Detroit... They stole the machine
(popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team?
They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..
It took a while for Americans to get COVID-19.
But in China, they got it right off the bat.
I asked my friend what it's like living in China.
He said 'Can't complain'.
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon 5 years ago, but still has not been awarded a gold medal.
China refuses to acknowledge Ty won.
and oldie but a goodie
back in ancient china, before the populations number a million, a monk lived near his friend, who was on the other side of the river. he wrote a long poem, full of phrases like "the seven winds could not move me" and was very proud of it. he sent it to his friend via dove.
when his friend sent it back, he had written one word in the corner of the scroll "f**..." fuming, the monk stomped over to his friend's dwelling and demanded an explanation. to this his friend simply said "the seven winds could not move you, and yet a single f**... sends you all the way across the river"
I don't know why people hate China. I love it and can't say I have a whole lot wrong with it.
It just s**... they've been stuck on that island for so long.
