Chin Jokes
104 chin jokes and hilarious chin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for the funniest chin jokes? This article has it all from jokes about the classic cleft chin to those about the bearded, unibrowed and even the pointy chin! Get ready for some serious chin-related hilarity!
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Funniest Chin Short Jokes
Short chin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chin humour may include short cone jokes also.
- My girlfriend told me she's sad because she's put on a bit of weight I told her to keep her chins up
- Some kids called me fatty as I walked down the street today. I just turned the other chin.
- I wish people would stop jumping on James Corden for stealing Ricky Gervais' joke.... This could permanently damage his career, and we need to remember he's got a wife and three chins to support.
- I met a girl who said she liked Imagine Dragons. I asked her if she could Imagine Dragon these nuts across her chin.
- My friend was sad and complaining to me about how she's having trouble losing weight. "The change isn't immediate", I told her. "Just keep your chins up."
- Teacher: We found drugs in your son's backpack Parent: Oh wow, really?
Teacher: Yes, it's very concerning
Parent: Very.. *rubbing chin*.. he should have sold them all by now - Its not my fault I have a double-chin... When God was giving out chins.. I thought he said Gin so I said I'll have a double.
- When life gets tough, I think about my parents... I take it on the chin like my mum, and just move on like my dad.
- Did you hear about the new cooling device for the lower jaw of a south American rodent? It's a chinchilla chin chiller.
- Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement? I think he just did it for a tin chin.
Share These Chin Jokes With Friends
Chin One Liners
Which chin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chin? I can suggest the ones about chimp and itch.
- My friend was called fat today. I told him "It'll be okay, just keep your chins up".
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
- What do you call a fat medium? Four-chin teller
- A man was trying to become rich by gaining weight He was trying to make a four chin
- My psychic is 500 lbs and morbidly obese. They're a four-chin teller.
- Neil arms weak Neil joins gym
Neil does chin ups
Neil Armstrong - What you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller
- Human is the only species that evolve chin I'm so advanced that I already doubled it.
- What does a fat girl desire but already have? A ten chin
- What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!
- Dear America, Keep Your Chins Up. Love, Australia Both of them.
- Where do rich male jawlines live In man chins
- What is the flower that is located between your nose and chin? Two Lips
- What do you call someone with brown hair and a red beard? "Chin"ger
- What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad? Chin up pal.
Double Chin Jokes
Here is a list of funny double chin jokes and even better double chin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Jimmy comes home and tells his dad the other kids at school are bullying him for having a double chin... Dad: Don't worry Jimmy, just walk ignore them and hold your chin up
Jimmy: Which one? - When God Handed out Chins... You Thought He Said Gins, And Asked For A Double.
The Funniest Chin Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about chin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean horn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chin pranks.
What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man?
(Censored)
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50
Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.
Riceless.
I just saw my chinese waiter give my order to someone who looks nothing like me. I get it now.
Oh wait, my bad. That wasn't my waiter.
The F in China stands for freedom
Friend: There isn't a F in China
Me: Exactly
I was at a Chinese restaurant...
when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings.
Chinese Proverb
Catch a man a fish and he eats for day. Teach a man to fish and you never see him on weekends.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
A Chinese farmer tells a judge he wants a divorce...
So the judge asks him why. The farmer says, "I'm just a simple farmer, I never went to school, and I don't know very much. But I do know this: when I plant corn, I get corn; when I plant rice, I get rice; now when I plant Chinese boy and black boy comes out, something's wrong."
The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers...
The couriers take the breast milk from the factory where the mother works to the factory where the baby works.
There were 3 Chinese men...
Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.
What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?
A pan, duh!
I am sorry five.
A Chinese man is walking down the street after just arriving in the U.S. for the first time. He possesses a limited understanding of English. While caught up in the splendor of the city he accidentally bumps into another person.
The Chinese man quickly responds "I'm Sorry!"
The American man says, "I am sorry too."
The Chinese man says "I am sorry three."
The American says "What are you sorry for?"
The Chinese man replies "I am sorry five."
The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.
Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.
They will have the element of supplies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...
Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."
Chinese magican
Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why isn't China a democracy?
Because a billion people would be talking about their *erections*.
I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery...
He thanked me.
A chinese man goes to the eye doctor...
The doctor says "You have cataract. " and the chinese guy says "No, I have a rinkin continental."
Chinese Joke
Got my blood results today turns out my blood type is A negative.
My dad is going to kill me
There's 3 chinese brothers...
Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chinese Sick Day
h**... Chow calls in to work and say,
"Hey boss, I no come work today, I very sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come work today"
The boss says, "You know something h**... Chow, I really need you today. When I get sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask for s**.... That make everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again and says,
"I try what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon. You have really nice house by the way!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it was revealed that d**... Fangxiao was under the minimum age of 16
And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.
Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do chinese people do when they have an e**...?
they vote
What is a chinese homosexual videogamer called?
Gay Ming
How do you tell apart a Chinese from a Japanese?
With a Geiger Counter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Chinese knights have a low rate of survival?
They all have c**... in their armor.
How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?
It weighs
*Won-ton*
Chinese Food is amazing
but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice
Chinese Proverb: Man who run infront of car get tired...
Man who run behind car get exhausted
The Chinese recently made a scientific discovery.
They discovered a louse so small that it lives on the back of the common housefly.
It's a remarkable discovery, but it's gone completely unnoticed because nobody thinks it odd that the Chinese are raving about their fly lice.
What did they name the Chinese remake of "Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs"?
It's Raining Cats and Dogs
What Does A Chinese Man Need When Taking his Dog Out?
Oven mitts.
A Chinese guy walks into a bar...
A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :
• My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?
• Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?
• No, it's because you are drinking my beer.
What do Chinese bears use to cook?
A pan. Duh!
Do you know about the Chinese author who wrote a million page book?
It was Wei Tu Long.
Why don't the Chinese have casinos?
Because they don't like Tibet
I have a Chinese friend with really bad internet
His name is Hai Ping
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chinese man calls in sick
h**... Chow calls in work and say, "Hey, I no come work today. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come to work."
The boss says, "You know what h**..., I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for s**.... That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
A Chinese family's dog ran away one night
...Thanksgiving was ruined.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese man stumbles home late one night really drunk...
Seeing his wife at the top of the stairs he says "hey baby how about a little number 69!"
The wife replies, "you drunk s**..., make your own Mongolian Beef Stew!"
My Chinese wife kicked me out because I wouldn't get off my Chinese phone.
She said it's Mai Wei or the Huawei.
My Chinese son was born before his due date
We called him Sudden Lee
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago
...and they still don't have any i**... Mexicans.
My Chinese roommate and I decided to give each other homemade christmas gifts this year!
I'm hoping for an iPad!
Why are Chinese kids so good at math?
Because their dog doesn't eat their homework
Many Chinese restaurants have names like, Golden Palace, Golden Lotus, Golden Dragon...
But mine is named after my favourite dish, Golden Retriever.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese man rings his boss....
A Chinese man rings his boss, Me no work today I sick.
Boss says, When I'm sick, I make love with my wife. Try that.
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back, Me better, you got nice house.
China has announced a tariff on pork imports from the US
It's unclear if they are referring to food or tourists at this time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
China has a border wall
And they have no Mexicans
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An chinese dad sees his newborn child and is startled when he realises the kid is clearly white.
He runs to the doctor and asks:
"Doctor, is it even medically possible for me and my wife - both chinese - to have a caucasian-looking baby?"
The doctor, turns to him, thinks for a bit, and replies:
"No. Two Wongs don't make a white."
Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one asks the other, "Is this whiskey?"
The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."
A Chinese man, who was less than proficient in the English language files for divorce. The judge asks what is the reason?
He replies " me no come, she no come, but baby come, how come?".
What do Chinese restaurants do when their lights are too bright?
Dim sum
A Chinese pan, an establishment for accommodation and drinks, a number, and Abraham Rockefeller...
Wok inn two Abe R.
Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.
Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?
Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head. What's that for? Sinking of the Titanic. Titanic was sunk by an iceberg. Iceberg Goldberg what's the difference?
Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?
Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does China have the best baseball team?
Because they took out the whole world with one bat
Say what you like about China...
[This post has been removed by the Communist Party of China (CPC) of the People's Republic of China at the discretion of General Xi Jinping]
In china, they invented a machine that can capture thieves
They tested out the machine in china for a week and they caught 2 thieves. The following week the russians decided to test this machine in Moscow, they caught 10 thieves. Seeing the machine's success, the Mexican government wanted to try this in the City of Mexico, they caught 400 thieves. Then the Americans caught interest and decided to test the machine in Detroit... They stole the machine
A Chinese kid asks his father, "Dad, why do they say, that all Chinese people look alike ?"
He replies, "I'm not your dad."
My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer.
Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
China should have a cricket team.
They can take out the whole world with one bat
Why do Chinese people love playing Among Us?
It's the only place they can vote
According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat
So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.
How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?
Wonton.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa?
Cause they're the ones who make the toys
Chinese New Year, Mardi Gras and Valentines Day are too close...
I don’t know what to paint on my nails.
Chinese Flag Rating
I'd give it uhhh 5 stars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa?
Because they make the toys.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did a Chinese guy have a Tamil name:
I recently met a Chinese man in Toronto and got to know that his name was "Kannaswami .
I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
He said -"Many, many years ago when I first went to Canada, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil r**....
The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?"
He replied "Kannaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.
Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.
China has the best baseball team.
They took out the whole world with one bat.
How come chinese kids dont belive in santa claus?
Because they're the ones that make the toys.
China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons.
One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?
They say, "NiHowdy!"
[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]
[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]
OBI-WAN: [Rubbing his chin] There's only one thing on Dathomir that concerns me
ANAKIN: Which is, Master?
OBI-WAN: Exactly
ANAKIN: .....
A horse walks into a bar...
and orders a beer.
As the bartender serves him, he looks at the horse and says "hey, why the long face, pal? Are you depressed?"
The horse ponders for a second, scratches his chin, and says "I don't think I am" - and promptly disappears.
See, this is a joke about Rene Descartes' famous statement, "I think, therefore I am." I could have mentioned this at the start of the joke, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese doctor has a Jewish patient.
"Listen," says the patient, "I didn't think we were going to get along so good together."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean! Pearl Harbor, that's what I mean!"
"What are you talking about, Pearl Harbor? I'm Chinese!"
"Yeah, well...Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same thing."
"What do you mean, all the same thing? The Jews sunk the Titanic!"
"The Jews sunk the Titanic?"
"Sure. Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceburg, all the same to me!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vampires are actually very successful artists with a common flaw...
Whenever they are doing a face portrait they always stop below the chin...
Whenever they are sketching a figure they always stop at the top of the shoulders....
But this is cuz they s**... at necks.
I went to a Chinese restaurant and there was a suggestion box,
so I wrote 'Free Tibet.'
