Chimney Jokes
88 chimney jokes and hilarious chimney puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chimney that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready for a good laugh? Read on for a collection of funny and entertaining jokes about chimneys, chimney sweeps, chimney pots, stoves, and more. This is your chance to get a unique view into the arcane world of masonry and Santa's chimney. Enjoy!
Funniest Chimney Short Jokes
Short chimney jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chimney humour may include short fireplace jokes also.
- Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney.
- What's the difference between jelly and jam? Santa doesn't jelly himself down the chimney on Christmas Eve.
- Why did Santa stop coming down the chimney? Because he became Claustrophobic.
I'll see myself out. - I'm selling some jokes about chimneys. I have a stack of them, the first one's on the house.
- Why does Santa come down the chimney? Mrs. clause told him he'd never be allowed to come in the back Door.
- I'm opening a new chimney sweep, soldering supplies, and dessert business. It's called Flue, Flux, Flan.
- why couldn't mrs. claus get pregnant? santa only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney...
- Why have so many chimneys stopped smoking? Because of hearth disease
(from my 6yo daughter) - Why were children used as chimney sweepers during the victorian era? They were the only ones soot-able for that type of job
- Strange that the chimney tends to survive a house fire. as a cold reminder of where the fire should have been. -Jimeoin
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Chimney One Liners
Which chimney one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chimney? I can suggest the ones about bonfire and stove.
- You think gas prices are expensive, have you seen Chimneys? They're through the roof.
- TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause
- What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney? Claus-trophobia.
- What does a chimney cost? Nothing, it's on the house.
- I'm giving away my chimney for free. It's on the house.
- What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too young to be smoking.
- A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said.... "Anyone wanna buy any presents?"
- Why does Santa prefer to come down the chimney? It soots him.
- How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down? He keeps a log
- Why was the chimney free? It was on the house.
- My standards for chimneys are so high... they go through the roof.
- Why does Santa have such a hard time with chimneys? Because he's Klaustrophobic.
- Why did the fireplace call the doctor? The chimney had the flue.
- What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle.
- Why is Mrs. Claus so cranky? Santa only comes once a year and it's down a chimney.
Chimney Sweep Jokes
Here is a list of funny chimney sweep jokes and even better chimney sweep puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It's not right to assume that a janitor can clean your chimney. You shouldn't make sweeping generalizations.
- Chimney Sweep Lady chimneysweep is a real fluesie
Howlingly Hilarious Chimney Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about chimney you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fire smoke jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chimney pranks.
What is the best formula for leaving Auschwitz?
Lenght of chimney x wind speed
How does jewish santa claus leave the house at christmas?
Through the chimney
a brunette, ad red head, and a blonde escape from prison
The three ladies hatch a plot to escape from prison by hiding in a laundry truck. As soon as the truck stops, they jump out and make a run for it.
Being in the middle of nowhere they head for a plume of smoke that seems to be coming from a chimney.
Upon arriving at a farm, they hear sirens and dogs barking not far behind them.
In a panic, the ladies run into a barn and close the door.
Looking for a place to hide, they find three burlap sacks on the ground, and each one climbs inside a sack.
Hiding quietly, they hear the barn door open and the prison warden followed by three guards walk in.
the warden walks up to a sack and kicks it. the brunette inside yelps, "ruff, ruff, ruff!"
"eh, just some puppies" says the warden.
the warden walks up to the sack where the redhead is hiding, kicks it, and hears "meow, meow", and says "eh, just some kittens".
So he walks up to the sack where the blond is hiding, kicks it and hears "potatoes, potatoes!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have two vices; smoking and m**....
I'm a twenty a day man, and I smoke like a chimney.
I will be watching Santa's journey on Norad's website very carefully this year.
If he goes to West Africa before coming to the UK, I'm bricking the chimney up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Santa got involved with Christmas
Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the b**... lie he told.
Why was the chimney in the special olympics?
Because it was Re-tarred.
Two Jewish children are sitting on top of a roof near a chimney. A passer-by asks, 'What are you doing there?'
What was the Jewish child doing on the chimney?
He was waiting for his parents.
Santa goes to...
Santa goes to your house, goes down your chimney, and watches you while you're asleep... And everyone adores him...
I do it one time...
What is Santa's motto?
Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do santa and a Jew have in common?
they both escape through the chimney.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does a little Jewish kid kneel next to a chimney?
He's waiting for his parents.
What goes up a chimney down, but cannot go down a chimney up?
An umbrella.
Why does Father Christmas come down the chimney?
It helps him slide down with ease,
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Santa say when he came down the p**...-star's chimney?
h**...! h**...! h**...!
A tale of two chimneys
What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney?
You're too young to smoke.
What did the smaller chimney say to the big chimney?
GAH! TALKING CHIMNEY!
My buddy told me he fantasizes about being made of bricks and having a chimney.
He'd really be stoked if he was a fireplace.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Mommy have s**... with Santa Clause?
She likes to go down on his chimney.
Last night I saw Santa climbing down my chimney with his red bag.
*Satan.
Why did Mrs. Claus divorce Santa Claus?
Because he kept coming down the chimney.
What's it called when Santa comes down a microbiologist's chimney?
Claus-mosis
What is Santa's worst fear?
Getting stuck going down a chimney because he's Claustrophobic.
Why did the dyslexic Christian kill himself on Christmas day?
Because Satan was crawling down his chimney.
Got vaccinated, avoided swine flues. Got vaccinated, avoided bird flues. Then I bought a house with two fireplaces.
Got chimney flues.
What do the jews and Santa have in common?
Santa comes down the chimney.
What's a similarity and difference between Santa Clause and Jews?
A similarity is going through the chimney.
The difference is direction.
I'd like to start with the chimney jokes
I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.
What's the difference between a white Santa and a black Santa?
One comes through the chimney while the other comes through an unlocked door
Why didn't the cops save Santa from the Chimney?
They're Claustrophobic.
Just bought a new chimney
Top of the range
What do you get when Santa accidentally goes down the chimney with a lit fire?
Chestnuts roasted over an open fire.
What's the difference between being gay and being Anne Frank?
One comes out of the closet, the other comes out of the chimney
How did Santa put out the fire?
He *came* down the chimney
What does Santa get when he gets stuck in the chimney?
lung cancer
Dad, is Santa white or black?
Before or after he comes down the chimney?
Why doesn't Santa Claus have kids?
He only came once a year and it was down the chimney.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was a teenager I had two habits: smoking and m**...
I was a 20-a-day lad and I smoked like a chimney.
Why wouldn't the blonde go near the fireplace?
Because the chimney had a flue
Why is Santa white?
Because that's the only way to convince people to be happy for a guy to come down their chimney while they slept
Got into a fight with the man who was repairing my chimney. After a while he realized he was in the wrong so he told me:
Next chimney is on the house .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIFU by sticking a chimney starter up my b**... to cure my coronavirus.
Turns out it's only effective against the flue.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make a chimney sweep get a move on?
Just light a fire under his a**...!
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia.
Merry Christmas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Santa say when he dropped down the chimney at the kardashians?
h**... h**... h**...!
My dad told me this joke, I'm very sorry
What did the Chimney say to his son?
You are too young to smoke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Workers are building a brutally tall chimney...
When they are almost finished, a foreman runs to them short of breath and shouts:
We are in deep s**... guys, someone turned over my construction plans...
We were supposed to dig a well!!!
Sir, the numbers are in and I'm pleased to report that chimney sales are through the roof.
But our kindling branch is up in smoke.
I saw a homeless man sleeping outside the train station this morning.
Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.
He immediately woke up and said, Thank you.
No problem. I smiled.
He looked at me again and said, It's empty.
I said, I know, it's meant to be a chimney.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... much does a chimney cost?
It's on the house
