The Best 55 Chimney Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Chimney jokes. There are some chimney pipe jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chimney sleigher puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Chimney Jokes and Puns
Why Doesn't Santa Have Any Kids?
Because he comes down the chimney.
A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said....
"Anyone wanna buy any presents?"
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to be smoking.
why couldn't mrs. claus get pregnant?
santa only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney...
Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids?
Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney.
I will be watching Santa's journey on Norad's website very carefully this year.
If he goes to West Africa before coming to the UK, I'm bricking the chimney up.
Why Santa got involved with Christmas
Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the bullshit lie he told.
Shame to admit, my german grandpa told me this joke
How do you calculate the escape route of a jew?
Chimney Height * Strength of wind
Do you know why Santa Claus ain't got not babies?
He only comes once a year, and it's down the chimney.
Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to smoke.
Sorry, it's the first joke I ever learned, and I haven't ever seen it posted.
You can explore chimney masonry reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chimney banta dad jokes. There are also chimney puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews?
The way they traveled through the chimney.
Strange that the chimney tends to survive a house fire.
as a cold reminder of where the fire should have been. -Jimeoin
Santa Clause and a Jew [NSFW]
Whats the difference between Santa Clause and a Jew?
Santa Clause comes down the Chimney.
Santa is not black!
You just need to clean your chimney!
Hey, girl, do you believe in Santa...
Or should I smash through your chimney dressed as something else?
My buddy told me he fantasizes about being made of bricks and having a chimney.
He'd really be stoked if he was a fireplace.
Why does Santa prefer to come down the chimney?
It soots him.
Why does Santa not have any kids? NSFW
Because when he comes once a year, it's down the chimney
Why is Santa always afraid he'll get stuck in the chimney?
He is claus-trophobic.
Why does Santa come down the chimney?
Mrs. clause told him he'd never be allowed to come in the back Door.
Why did the dyslexic Christian kill himself on Christmas day?
Because Satan was crawling down his chimney.
I'm giving away my chimney for free.
It's on the house.
What did the Jewish Santa say when going down the chimney?
Hey kids! Wanna buy some presents?!
Why have so many chimneys stopped smoking?
Because of hearth disease
(from my 6yo daughter)
Why were children used as chimney sweepers during the victorian era?
They were the only ones soot-able for that type of job
Got into a fight with the man who was repairing my chimney. After a while he realized he was in the wrong so he told me:
Next chimney is on the house .
What's the difference between Santa and a Jew?
The direction in the chimney.
It's not right to assume that a janitor can clean your chimney.
You shouldn't make sweeping generalizations.
TIFU by sticking a chimney starter up my butt to cure my coronavirus.
Turns out it's only effective against the flue.
How much does a chimney cost ?
Free, It's on the house !
How much do chimneys cost?
Nothing, they're on the house.
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.
Why doesn't Santa have kids?
Because he only comes once a year and it's down your chimney.
What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia.
Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it 'soots' him.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia.
Merry Christmas.
What did Santa say when he dropped down the chimney at the kardashians?
Ho Ho Ho!
How much does a chimney cost?
How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing. It's on the house.
Why doesn't santa have any children?
Cos he only comes once a year and that's down the chimney
How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing. It's on the house!
My dad told me this joke, I'm very sorry
What did the Chimney say to his son?
You are too young to smoke
How much is it for a new chimney?
Nothing, it's on the house!
Hey Man , what does a chimney cost?
Nothing , Its on the house
Workers are building a brutally tall chimney...
When they are almost finished, a foreman runs to them short of breath and shouts:
We are in deep shit guys, someone turned over my construction plans...
We were supposed to dig a well!!!
How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing, because it's on the house.
Sir, the numbers are in and I'm pleased to report that chimney sales are through the roof.
But our kindling branch is up in smoke.
I saw a homeless man sleeping outside the train station this morning.
Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.
He immediately woke up and said, Thank you.
No problem. I smiled.
He looked at me again and said, It's empty.
I said, I know, it's meant to be a chimney.
What does a chimney cost?
Nothing, it's on the house.
Why does Santa come down the chimney?
Because Mrs. Claus won't let him in the back door.
Why did Santa stop coming down the chimney?
Because he became Claustrophobic.
I'll see myself out.
What's it called when someone is afraid of getting stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia
Why did the fireplace call the doctor?
The chimney had the flue.
How much was the chimney ?
Nothing, it was on the house 🏠
Why was the chimney free?
It was on the house.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chimney stovepipe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chimney soot piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.