Chill Jokes
128 chill jokes and hilarious chill puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chill that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking to laugh? Check out this collection of chill jokes that covers everything from Netflix and chill to frosty cold. Whether you're looking for no-chill humor or something to be more chill about, you'll find just the right joke for any mood.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Chill Short Jokes
Short chill jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chill humour may include short calm jokes also.
- The inventor of the wind chill factor died this week. He was 86 but felt more like he was 64.
- Never literally taking cooking instructions… It said chill in the fridge for an hour
I nearly died - My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero... At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.
- After dating for 2 months, she started saying she wanted to meet my parents, Baby chill I waited for 9 months before I met my own parents
- You say a mesquito bit you and now you have the chills, a high fever and are sweating profusely? That's not funny. That's malarious!
- I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work... I opened my eyes and chilled - I'm at work.
- Scientists announced that a man had chilled himself to absolute zero in an industrial accident. He's 0K right now.
- Why do snowmen love reading mystery novels? They're always on the hunt for the chilling clues!
- Netflix's new subscription fees are so high I've had to stop paying the heating bill, Brings a whole new meaning to Netflix and chill…
- Why did the snowman bring a map to the winter solstice party? He didn't want to get lost in the chill of the night!
Share These Chill Jokes With Friends
Chill One Liners
Which chill one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chill? I can suggest the ones about relax and laid back.
- Hindus are so chilled out. They never have beef with anyone.
- My best friend is a very chill guy He's 0K
- What's the winter solstice's favorite type of joke? "Chill" humor.
- What's the medical term for a chill pill? A relaxative
- How do you organize a fantastic winter solstice celebration? Just chill and let it snow!
- What's a snowman's favorite winter solstice activity? "Chilling" with friends.
- They told me to go cold turkey... So now I'm chilling in Istanbul.
- Chills and fever-induced sweating will help you beat the heat all summer
- Ten minutes into "conspiracy theories and chill..." ...we start gettin *illuminaughty.*
- What do you call a "Grilled Cheese" after a few days in the fridge? Chilled Grease
- Why are people in wheelchairs so chill? They roll with the punches
- What does the Newfoundland fisherman do on a day off? Net fix and chill
- I tried "Netflix and chill?" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls.
- Have you ever been to an arctic graveyard? It's chilling...
- Where does the letter O go to chill? The ozone
No Chill Jokes
Here is a list of funny no chill jokes and even better no chill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My dad said something earlier that gave me chills. He said, "I'm turning off the heating."
- An ice cube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. Bunsen... My flame...I melt whenever I see you," confessed the ice cube.
* Chill, it's just a phase you're going through. * - I bought an official Craig David fridge recently, and it's useless! It only chills on Sundays!
- I love this time of the year... when the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air & the whole family gathers round a roaring Galaxy Note 7
- My fridge has an annoying habit to make noise if I leave it open too long I wish it would just chill
- René Descartes is chilling with his girlfriend. She asks: "What are you thinking of?" He says: "Nothing." and disappears.
- Back when I went to college, we didn't have Netflix and Chill. We had Room and Bored.
- My son asked me what those jellies were doing in the fridge? Without skipping a beat I replied "I don't know, chilling?"
The look he gave me was totally worth it! - What do penguins do when they want to hookup? Net fish and chill
- A couple nuclei are chilling in a bar. One says "let's blow this joint," so they split.
Be More Chill Jokes
Here is a list of funny be more chill jokes and even better be more chill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I logged into MySpace for the first time since 2005. I logged into MySpace for the first time since 2005. It was full of private messages from women who wanted to "Blockbuster and Chill".
- If you want to prevent pregnancy use two condoms and... Fill chille powder in between. If outer one breaks she will know if inner one breaks you will know..
- What do you get when you put an 8-year old in the fridge? A chilled!
- She told me she wanted to Netflix and chill. But when I got there she had Redbox.
- The tale of the haunted refrigerator was calm and cold. Indeed, it was chilling.
- Why do I think Sir Isaac Newton was such a chill guy? I don't know, he just seemed pretty down-to-Earth to me.
- Now I'm just going to wait till the end of 2016 and hope Obama says: "Chill out guys, all of this was just a prank. I'm going for the 3rd term".
- What do you call ice that is chilled to -273.15°C? Still water.
- Friend's advice be like: Chill dude!
Get married!
What's divorce thing that could happen? - When do cherries chill out? On a Sunday.
Chill Pill Jokes
Here is a list of funny chill pill jokes and even better chill pill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A 16 year old blonde is dinning with her parents Blonde: Oh by the way I´m pregnant
Parents (simultaneously): You´re WHAT!?!
Blonde: Geez relax and eat a chill pill, I´m not even sure it´s mine - Soo.... baltimore. Probably not the best idea to burn down a cvs pharmacy. The entire city needs a chill pill.
- A man walks into a bar. The bartender yells from the back, Hey, how can I help you!!!!
The customer said, take a chill pill
Ok, Mr Cosby, I'll get right on that. - Number 20 needs to take a chill pill... ...coz she's just two tens.
- Parents found out I'm a drug dealer... Sold them both chill pills
- Who needs netflix and chill? when you have netflix and pill... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- netflix First comes netflix then comes chill next comes babby because mommy forgot the pill
Wind Chill Jokes
Here is a list of funny wind chill jokes and even better wind chill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Earlier today my friend asked me how long I'v been married. I told him 15 years but with the wind chill it feels like 30
Netflix And Chill Jokes
Here is a list of funny netflix and chill jokes and even better netflix and chill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The wife and I did the opposite of "netflix and chill" last night... CNN and panic!
- What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill? Hope you're ready for the next episode
- What do the Irish have instead of Netflix & Chill? Meet & Potatoes
- What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date? Netflix and chill.
- My buddy and I both have the flu. I invited him over for Netflix & chills.
- why netflix and chill? Because amazon and chill has 1 day delivery.
- Wanna 'Netflix and chill' but I can't afford Netflix "Pirated movies and chill" isn't getting me laid =/
- Netflix and chill is cool... But let's be honest guys, we know for most of you it's Netflix and Jill
- Girl asked me to netflix and chill So I was like na, more like Amazon prime and commitment.
- When it comes to Netflix and Chill, They call me Skip Intro.

Entertaining Chill Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about chill you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stay cool jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chill pranks.
At first the French were chill about the revolutionists
…but they lost their heads when they started the executions
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some w**... with her
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?
They smoke them out.
What did the chill pigeon say?
coo. coo.
CHILLING WITH ESKIMOS
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
A. Polaroids.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....
So I was like na, more like pirate and b**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Netflix and Chill or ...
Redtube and l**... 😜
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill
Let's Imax and c**...
My girlfriend has real trust issues, always paranoid.
My wife on the other hand is a lot more chill.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ive seen this place, filled with hills and green grass, people party and eat and just chill out. They live for hundreds of years in peace. Virtually no crime. sunshine most days, nice families, quaint neighbourhood...
anyone else notice there are no black hobbits in the shire?
A woman was telling her husband about a new friend she had made
The woman said "she's so cool. She's friendly af, chill af, nice af..."
Her husband responded with "well, she certainly sounds afable."
What do snowmen like to do on the weekends?
Chill out
What's the difference between a college student and a refrigerator?
Only one know how to chill.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: what is it called when a Russian does not want to come over to your place for s**...?
A: Nyetflix and chill.
Did the Drake's vocals come in yet?
Chill chill everything's top secret my brother
What did one belt say to the other?
Come on dude, you need to chill a little, you're way to uptight
Was with my girlfriend yesterday..
We discussed if we should go bowling or just stay at home and chill.
Told her that I didn't want my fingers where everyone else's fingers had been.
So we went bowling.
Why are trains so chill with where their kids are?
They can simply 'track' them.
My last girlfriend was pretty chill,
she didn't even scream that much when I closed the trunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At what point during a Netflix and Chill should you start touching her?
Immediately after the Weinstein Company logo flashes across the screen
What did the fridge do when the electricity went down?
It lost its chill.
While everyone's trying to Netflix and chill I'm out here trying to hulu and woho
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Japanese version of Netflix and Chill
is h**... with Senpai
I wonder if church musicians and surgeons ever hang out
They could just chill and talk about organs
A young zebra escapes from the zoo and meets a stallion in a nearby valley
The stallion was fascinated and asked the zebra "where do you come from and what do you do?" the zebra replied "I come from Africa and I just chill with my friends on the plain"
Then the zebra asked the stallion "what are you and what do you do?" and the stallion replied "I'm a stallion, get your pyjamas off and i'll show you"
For Humans, fall is a beautiful, colourful season.
but plants chill just shave all the season.
Why are eggs so chill?
Can't blame them, they get laid all the time!
Is your Sub Zero chillibrator running?
yes?
THEN YOU BETTER GO CATCH IT!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Netflix and Chill is just a D away from
NETFLIX AND CHILD
Nine out of ten doctors agree
The tenth doctor needs to chill out
What did the police say to criminals in Chicago?
Chill out guys
I think the weirdest thing about being dyslexic
Is the look the barista gives you when you add to the spit jar. Like I'm not the one who put it there, Kenlynn, chill out.
Devin Nunes needs to chill about the whole Twitter debate thing. It's just an internet troll.
Don't have a cow, man.
The stone has been rolled away for 38 days and Christ continues to chill with his buds.
God calls from the heavens, it is time.
But Jesus and his friends can't hear over all the partying etc
On day 39, same thing. Son, come sit by my right hand in heaven.
Still nothing.
On the 40th day, God hears that the music is especially loud and knows he'll likely be ignored again. So he grabs a very loud megaphone and yells May I have your ascension please! May I have your ascension please
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two tapeworms are chilling wherever it is tapeworms chill at.
One of them says, "So I found this host the other day. Man, you should have seen him! Fat as a blimp, ate more food in one day than most people eat in a week. He was roomy and comfy and spent most of his time sitting or laying down, so I didn't even NOTICE the outside world!"
The other says, "Hot d**...! Sounds like a paradise! Then why did you leave? Did he die or something?"
"Nope," answers the first. "But he reaaaaaaally loved Mexican food."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A freshman is talking to the new girl in school. You'll like it here, he tells her. Everyone is pretty chill, the teachers are all nice, but the principal is kind of a m**....
Do you know who I am? the girl asks her new classmate. I'm the daughter of the principal.
The boy is silent and then asks her, Do you know who I am?
She shakes her head no. Good, says the boy as he walks away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The teacher told the girls in the class to start screaming and running out of class every time John lied
It was the perfect revenge prank
Once John entered, the teacher asked why he was late, he answered They're building a s**... club right across my house
The girls then started screaming and running out of class, John just looked confused and said
chill out h**... they're not hiring yet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two tomato's are chilling in the fridge
The first one says "Dang, its kind of cold in here"
The second one backs away, and says "Holy s**... its a talking tomato"
Movie night
We wanted to "Netflix and chill" last night, so my wife asked me to put on a movie called " scent of a woman". I could not find it so I put on the next best thing...." A fish called Wanda"
It was a chilly day of spring when I answered the door to a child holding a plastic pumpkin by the handle.
"Trick or treat!"
"A little late on that one you reckon? Halloween was months ago"
"It was? Sorry, I'm Internet Explorer"
I felt a chill go down as my wife noticed me eyeing a nice looking ginger
"I know what you're thinking and if that's what you want then go right ahead have it your way" she said
So I made us some herbal tea and that was the best freaking thing that I have had on a cold cold day
Stay warm guys

