Chili Jokes
133 chili jokes and hilarious chili puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about chili that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of chili jokes. From classic one-liners to hilarious puns, we've got a joke to make you smile. So grab a bowl of chili and enjoy!
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Funniest Chili Short Jokes
Short chili jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chili humour may include short chilli jokes also.
- How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is? Give it a weigh , give a weigh, give it a weigh now.
- Do you know why I don't eat at Chili's or Applebee's? Because i'm old enough to microwave my own food...
- Trail mix dad joke I made a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberries, California Raisins, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Spice Girls, and the Peanuts.
I call it my Trail Mix. - Can you tell me why the Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? well me boy, one more would be "twofarty".
- How do you measure the mass of a red hot chili pepper. Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh now.
- Why did the chicken skip a track on his Red Hot Chili Peppers CD? To get to the Otherside.
- How do you Measure how Heavy a Red Hot Chili Pepper Is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
- Do you have any idea how heavy a chili pepper is? Why don't you go ahead and give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
- Did you hear about the cannibal who used a group of businessmen to make a batch of chili? I guess he wanted seasoned professionals.
- I ate five alarm chili last night... ...this morning I'm declaring a National Emergency at my southern border.
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Chili One Liners
Which chili one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chili? I can suggest the ones about salsa and hot sauce.
- What did the jalapeño say in the blizzard? I'm a little chili
- Why was the pepper cold? Because it was chili.
- What do you call a dog that's freezing? A chili dog.
- What happens when a chili pepper gets mad at you? He gets jalapeño face!!!
- What's the most popular chili in the Middle East? Halalpeño.
- What will the "Red Hot Chili Peppers" become when they die? Ghost Peppers.
- Why did the chihuahua put on a jacket? Because it was a chili dog!
- What do you call a pepper in late autumn? A little chili
- If you see a habanero on your doorstep, put a sweater on ...it's a little chili outside
- Do you know how to make a good vegetarian chili? Stick her in the freezer.
- I went outside and there was a tiny jalapeño It was a little chili.
- What's the opposite of a hot dog? A chili dog
- What do you feed an angry person? Chili.
- What do you call a cold puppy? A chili dog.
- I wrapped my Chihuahua in a hot dog bun for warmth.. It was a chili dog.
Chili Pepper Jokes
Here is a list of funny chili pepper jokes and even better chili pepper puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's a sure-fire method to figure out precisely how many grams a chili pepper is? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
- Does anybody have a scale I could borrow? I just bought a bag of red hot chili peppers and I need to give it a weigh! Give it a weigh! Give it a weigh nowww!
- What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador????????????? A hot diggity Dog.
- A big pepper is sitting on the couch when his small pepper roommate walks in the door shivering Big pepper: "Why are you shaking? Are you cold?"
Small pepper: "I'm a little chili." - How do you tell how much a chili pepper weighs? Give it a weigh! Give it a weigh! Give it a weigh now!
- Why did the baby bell pepper put on a sweater? Because it was a little chili.
- Why did the red hot chili peppers cross the road "To take it on the other-side"
- A man in New Mexico asked a farmer if he had any local chili peppers for sale. Unfortunately, the farmer said he had 99 poblanos but a Hatch ain't one.
- Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road? To get to the other side...to get to the other siiiide
- What's Obi-Wan's favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers song? Higher ground.
Hot Chili Jokes
Here is a list of funny hot chili jokes and even better hot chili puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What happens when you add Cold hot sauce on Hot food? you Chili things up.
- Did you check the weather for Mexico City? It's chili today and hot tamale.
- You heard what Pedro the weatherman reported? Chili today, hot tamale
- My friend will donate a red hot chili peppers album to charity He will give it away, give it away, give it away now
- What did the Red Hot Chili Peppers do when their producer said he didn't like their new tracks? They bought long sleeve shirts.
- A guy sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili...
- The Red Hot Chili Peppers are actually Buzzfeed fans. If not, then how do you explain this: 'Ten more reasons why I need somebody new'?
- Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road? Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road? Because they wanted to be taken to the other side.
- Chili today, Hot tamale.
- What's the forecast for Mexico? Chili today, Hot Tamale...
Red Hot Chili Peppers Jokes
Here is a list of funny red hot chili peppers jokes and even better red hot chili peppers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you find out how heavy a red hot chili pepper is? Give it away give it away give it away now
- What's the difference between the Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves; the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the h**...!
Chili Beans Jokes
Here is a list of funny chili beans jokes and even better chili beans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- why does traditional Irish chili only have 239 beans in it? ...if it had one more, it would be "teew faarty"
- Why do cowboys eat beans by the campfire? Because it's kinda chili
- How does William Shakespeare make chili? With beans? Or not with beans?
That is the question. - Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili?? If they added just one more, it would be too-f**...!
- Why do Irish people only put 239 beans in their chili? If they add one more it would be too f**....
- Why does an Irish chili have only 239 beans in it? Because one more would make it *too f**...*.
- Why do the Irish only put two hundred and thirty nine beans in their chili? Because if they added just one more bean, it would be too f**...!
- Irish chili How many beans do you put in Irish chili? Two hundred and thirty-nine.
Why? Because one more would be two-f**.... - How many beans are in Irish Chili? 239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too f**...".
- 10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans? Because one more would be one-f**... bowl of chili!
Comedy Chili Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about chili you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hot peppers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chili pranks.
We are thinking about making chili for Christmas Eve.
We're starting a new tradition called 'silent but deadly night'.
A homeless man walks by a bar...
He sees a man sitting in front of a steaming bowl of chili. And the homeless man is so hungry he walks inside the bar and tells the man he's very hungry. The man at the bar just shoves the chili over to the homeless man and nods. The homeless man is surprised but starts eating right away, as he gets to the bottom of the bowl he sees a dead mouse. The homeless man throws up the chili back in the bowl. The man at the bar says "I did the same thing ten minutes ago".
What is a cannibal's favorite food at the county fair?
Chili con Carny.
Why did my grandmother knit a sweater for the pepper.
I mentioned it was a little chili.
So this bell pepper spots a jalapeño walking on the streets...
and wants to know why he's all wrapped up in layers of clothes. "Hey," he says, "hey, aren't you a bit hot?"
"No," says the jalapeño, "I'm a little chili"
A boy runs into his parent's bedroom at 3am and says, "Dad! Dad! There's a burglar in the kitchen eating all of mom's leftover chili!"
The dad replies, "Go back to bed, son. We'll bury him in the morning."
What do you call a w**... dog in a snow bank?
a chili dog!
I'll show myself out.
The woman and her chili.
A man walks into a bar and notices a woman sitting at a table. In front of her on the table is a full bowl of chili. Since the man is very hungry, he asks her if he can have her chili. She agrees, giving him the bowl. The man starts to quickly put spoonfuls into his mouth. As he gets to the end of the chili, he sees a dead rat at the bottom. This causes him to v**... back into the bowl.
In response, the woman said: "Yep, that's about as far as I got too."
Why did the momma pepper tuck in her baby?
Because he was a little chili
(Actually came up with this while making chili)
Best joke I've ever made
*I open the door to leave the house*
Me: It's raining outside?
Mom: Yeah, and it's chilly; you might want a jacket.
Me: It's raining chili?!
What happens to Pastors who eat chili dogs?
They have to sit in their own pew.
I bought a tiny chili pepper plant today.
I wanted to spice up my apartment.
What did my dad say after he asked for frozen casserole
That's chili.
E:dit
Ok execution could be better. Any tips?
A man walks into a restaurant
Waiter : Hello, what can I get you today?
Man : I would like some chili please.
Waiter : Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.
Man : I wourd rrike some chirri prease.
A Man walks into a Japanese Restaurant
Man:Hello, Can I have some chili?
Server:I'm sorry sir, This is a Japanese Restaurant
Man: thinks for a few second
Man: Herro, Can I havo some Chiri?
Two men are eating chili together.
One finishes his bowl and claims it's the best chili he's ever eaten. He looks at the second man who's bowl is completely full.
First man: are you gonna eat that?
Second man: nah I'm not feeling too good.
First man: wouldn't want it to go to waste then.
The first man eats the second bowl of chili and finds a dead mouse at the bottom. He instantly spews the chili back into the bowl.
Second man: yeah that's as far as I got too.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
Because he ate his vegan veggie bacon chili before it was cool.
What's the most ironic food?
Chili
Why did the pepper put on a sweater?
It was Chili
What did the Leopard say after eating a chili dog?
That hit the spot.
In Texas, going to a chili cook-off is an acceptable alternative to church
Either way you end up sitting in a pew
How did the jalapeño know the serano was cold?
He said he was a little chili.
Why did the jalapeno wear a tiny jacket?
Because he was just a little chili.
A koala walks into a restaurant.
He says, "I'll have the minestrone."
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of chili.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of lobster bisque.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of gazpacho.
After a while the waitress says, "Wow, you must be hungry."
The koala answers, "No, I'm just a moresoupial."
Asian restaraunt
Waitress: what would you like?
Man: I would like a bowl of chili.
Waitress: But sir, this is a chinese restraunt.
Man : oh im so sorry. ( Squints eyes)
I would rike a bowl of chiri
What do you call a doggo playing in the snow (in Coney Island)?
A chili dog!
A chicken has a question for his mother
A young chicken goes to his mom and asks,"why are all of our names just chicken and nothing unique?"
She tells him not to worry and that he'll have a unique name soon, just like his siblings chili chicken, butter chicken and teriyaki chicken.
It's ironic that chili is hot
**and not chilly**
My girlfriend and I wanted to spice up our s**... life
The chili peppers were unsuccessful
So you've all heard about the neutron that walks into a bar, but what about...
A neutrino walks into a Mexican Restaurant. He orders a taco with extra chili sauce. The bartender comes up to his table with a taco and a gigantic bottle of super-hot chili sauce. He opens the taco, starts pouring sauce and asks:
"So how much salsa do you want, amigo?"
The neutrino answers:
"NO MASS! NO MASS!"
An Irish guy is making chili for a fall cookoff
He just recently immigrated and forgot the recipe back home.
He goes to his wife, 'Mary, I forgot the recipe. How many beans am I supposed to put in?'
Mary responds: '239.'
Why my love?
Mary: any more would be too f**...
I was driving with my wife recently and we were talking about what we wanted to happen to our bodies when we died. I want to be cremated and put in a p**... of chili. She asked why.
So I can tear that a**... up one last time.
A Subway sandwich maker has a very eccentric regular customer.
The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it's burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.
Finally he asks his boss if he can just not wait on that customer. His boss asks why.
The worker screams in frustration: "I hate the mods on that sub!"
Two drunk men are eating out of a crock p**... in the snow.
Neither of the men know what they are eating.
The first man says Wow, this soup makes it feel hot out here!
The second man looks in the p**..., takes a bite, and says No no, I think it's chili.
A guy walks into a cafe and asks for a bowl of chili.
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees that the guy's bowl of chili is full. He says, "If you're not going to eat that, mind if I take it?" The other guys says, "No, help yourself." He starts to eat it and about halfway down, his fork hits something. It's a dead mouse, and he vomits the chili back into the bowl. The other guys says, "That's about as far as I got, too."
I served a p**... of chili to a table of anti vaxxers and jokingly told them it could double as a covid test.
They thought it was a bit tasteless.
Knock-knock!
*Who's there?*
Baby Jalapeño!
*Baby Jalapeño who?*
Open the door, already! It's a little chili out here!
What do you call a middle eastern chili?
a halal-peño
My girlfriend threw a hotdog into the snow
It became a chili dog
Why can't conservatives ever make good chili and barbeque?
Because they have to be liberal with their spices.
