The Best 65 Chili Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Chili jokes. There are some chili parmesan jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chili red hot chili peppers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Chili Jokes and Puns
We are thinking about making chili for Christmas Eve.
We're starting a new tradition called 'silent but deadly night'.
Can you tell me why the Irish only put 239 beans in their chili?
well me boy, one more would be "twofarty".
A homeless man walks by a bar...
He sees a man sitting in front of a steaming bowl of chili. And the homeless man is so hungry he walks inside the bar and tells the man he's very hungry. The man at the bar just shoves the chili over to the homeless man and nods. The homeless man is surprised but starts eating right away, as he gets to the bottom of the bowl he sees a dead mouse. The homeless man throws up the chili back in the bowl. The man at the bar says "I did the same thing ten minutes ago".
Why did the Chihuahua put on a jacket?
Because it was a chili dog!
Why did the chicken skip a track on his Red Hot Chili Peppers CD?
To get to the Otherside.
So this bell pepper spots a jalapeño walking on the streets...
and wants to know why he's all wrapped up in layers of clothes. "Hey," he says, "hey, aren't you a bit hot?"
"No," says the jalapeño, "I'm a little chili"
A boy runs into his parent's bedroom at 3am and says, "Dad! Dad! There's a burglar in the kitchen eating all of mom's leftover chili!"
The dad replies, "Go back to bed, son. We'll bury him in the morning."
What do you call a weenie dog in a snow bank?
a chili dog!
I'll show myself out.
What will the "Red Hot Chili Peppers" become when they die?
Ghost Peppers.
The woman and her chili.
A man walks into a bar and notices a woman sitting at a table. In front of her on the table is a full bowl of chili. Since the man is very hungry, he asks her if he can have her chili. She agrees, giving him the bowl. The man starts to quickly put spoonfuls into his mouth. As he gets to the end of the chili, he sees a dead rat at the bottom. This causes him to vomit back into the bowl.
In response, the woman said: "Yep, that's about as far as I got too."
Irish chili
How many beans do you put in Irish chili? Two hundred and thirty-nine.
Why? Because one more would be two-farty.
You can explore chili chilly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chili habanero dad jokes. There are also chili puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili??
If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!
Best joke I've ever made
*I open the door to leave the house*
Me: It's raining outside?
Mom: Yeah, and it's chilly; you might want a jacket.
Me: It's raining chili?!
How many beans are in Irish Chili?
239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".
What happens to Pastors who eat chili dogs?
They have to sit in their own pew.
What do you call a pepper in late autumn?
A little chili
What did my dad say after he asked for frozen casserole
That's chili.
E:dit
Ok execution could be better. Any tips?
What do you call a cold puppy?
A chili dog.
Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road?
To get to the other side...to get to the other siiiide
Why did the red hot chili peppers cross the road
"To take it on the other-side"
A man walks into a restaurant
Waiter : Hello, what can I get you today?
Man : I would like some chili please.
Waiter : Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.
Man : I wourd rrike some chirri prease.
How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh , give a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Do you have any idea how heavy a chili pepper is?
Why don't you go ahead and give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
What did the jalapeño say in the blizzard?
I'm a little chili
Two men are eating chili together.
One finishes his bowl and claims it's the best chili he's ever eaten. He looks at the second man who's bowl is completely full.
First man: are you gonna eat that?
Second man: nah I'm not feeling too good.
First man: wouldn't want it to go to waste then.
The first man eats the second bowl of chili and finds a dead mouse at the bottom. He instantly spews the chili back into the bowl.
Second man: yeah that's as far as I got too.
What's the most ironic food?
Chili
What happens when a chili pepper gets mad at you?
He gets jalapeño face!!!
What did the Leopard say after eating a chili dog?
That hit the spot.
Why did the jalapeno wear a tiny jacket?
Because he was just a little chili.
A koala walks into a restaurant.
He says, "I'll have the minestrone."
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of chili.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of lobster bisque.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of gazpacho.
After a while the waitress says, "Wow, you must be hungry."
The koala answers, "No, I'm just a moresoupial."
Did you check the weather for Mexico City?
It's chili today and hot tamale.
Why do the Irish only put two hundred and thirty nine beans in their chili?
Because if they added just one more bean, it would be too farty!
Asian restaraunt
Waitress: what would you like?
Man: I would like a bowl of chili.
Waitress: But sir, this is a chinese restraunt.
Man : oh im so sorry. ( Squints eyes)
I would rike a bowl of chiri
Why do Irish people only put 239 beans in their chili?
If they add one more it would be too farty.
How do you tell how much a chili pepper weighs?
Give it a weigh! Give it a weigh! Give it a weigh now!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador?????????????
A hot diggity Dog.
How do you Measure how Heavy a Red Hot Chili Pepper Is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
A man in New Mexico asked a farmer if he had any local chili peppers for sale.
Unfortunately, the farmer said he had 99 poblanos but a Hatch ain't one.
I ate five alarm chili last night...
...this morning I'm declaring a National Emergency at my southern border.
How do you measure the mass of a red hot chili pepper.
Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh now.
A chicken has a question for his mother
A young chicken goes to his mom and asks,"why are all of our names just chicken and nothing unique?"
She tells him not to worry and that he'll have a unique name soon, just like his siblings chili chicken, butter chicken and teriyaki chicken.
What do you feed an angry person?
Chili.
My girlfriend and I wanted to spice up our sex life
The chili peppers were unsuccessful
What happens when you add Cold hot sauce on Hot food?
you Chili things up.
So you've all heard about the neutron that walks into a bar, but what about...
A neutrino walks into a Mexican Restaurant. He orders a taco with extra chili sauce. The bartender comes up to his table with a taco and a gigantic bottle of super-hot chili sauce. He opens the taco, starts pouring sauce and asks:
"So how much salsa do you want, amigo?"
The neutrino answers:
"NO MASS! NO MASS!"
Do you know how to make a good vegetarian chili?
Stick her in the freezer.
An Irish guy is making chili for a fall cookoff
He just recently immigrated and forgot the recipe back home.
He goes to his wife, 'Mary, I forgot the recipe. How many beans am I supposed to put in?'
Mary responds: '239.'
Why my love?
Mary: any more would be too farty
A big pepper is sitting on the couch when his small pepper roommate walks in the door shivering
Big pepper: "Why are you shaking? Are you cold?"
Small pepper: "I'm a little chili."
What's the most popular chili in the Middle East?
Halalpeño.
What's the opposite of a hot dog?
A chili dog
I was driving with my wife recently and we were talking about what we wanted to happen to our bodies when we died. I want to be cremated and put in a pot of chili. She asked why.
So I can tear that ass up one last time.
A Subway sandwich maker has a very eccentric regular customer.
The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it's burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.
Finally he asks his boss if he can just not wait on that customer. His boss asks why.
The worker screams in frustration: "I hate the mods on that sub!"
Two drunk men are eating out of a crock pot in the snow.
Neither of the men know what they are eating.
The first man says Wow, this soup makes it feel hot out here!
The second man looks in the pot, takes a bite, and says No no, I think it's chili.
What's a sure-fire method to figure out precisely how many grams a chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
A guy walks into a cafe and asks for a bowl of chili.
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees that the guy's bowl of chili is full. He says, "If you're not going to eat that, mind if I take it?" The other guys says, "No, help yourself." He starts to eat it and about halfway down, his fork hits something. It's a dead mouse, and he vomits the chili back into the bowl. The other guys says, "That's about as far as I got, too."
I served a pot of chili to a table of anti vaxxers and jokingly told them it could double as a covid test.
They thought it was a bit tasteless.
Does anybody have a scale I could borrow?
I just bought a bag of red hot chili peppers and I need to give it a weigh! Give it a weigh! Give it a weigh nowww!
Did you hear about the cannibal who used a group of businessmen to make a batch of chili?
I guess he wanted seasoned professionals.
Why did the baby bell pepper put on a sweater?
Because it was a little chili.
Knock-knock!
*Who's there?*
Baby Jalapeño!
*Baby Jalapeño who?*
Open the door, already! It's a little chili out here!
If you see a habanero on your doorstep, put a sweater on
...it's a little chili outside
What do you call a middle eastern chili?
a Halal-peño
My girlfriend threw a hotdog into the snow
It became a chili dog
I wrapped my Chihuahua in a hot dog bun for warmth..
It was a chili dog.
I went outside and there was a tiny jalapeño
It was a little chili.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chili meal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chili chili cook off piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.