Children Book Jokes
40 children book jokes and hilarious children book puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about children book that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Children Book Short Jokes
Short children book jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The children book humour may include short kids story jokes also.
- How are a hobo and a balloon alike? Both are without visible means of support.
(My son found that in a children's joke book) - Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today. JK
- I'm writing a children's book about a female otter that goes to college. It's called Alma Otter's alma mater.
- Did you hear they're making a Mr Men book about a woman that can't have children? It's called Little Miss Carrie.
- Donald Trump is writing a children's book about running for President He's going to title it, "Marco's Little Adventure"
- J.K. Rowling started out writing children's literature. Then she tried her hand at writing books for grown-ups. Now she's back to writing for children. Apparently Twitter's her new gig.
- My buddies and I were playing poker with children's story books and I got a good hand. Read em and sleep boys
- My Parents always told That you should learn from mistakes. That's Why they have so many books about children.
- You hear about the kids book that explains the Big Bang and Big Crunch to children? "One Shift, Two Shift, Red Shift, Blue Shift." By Doppler Seuss.
- So, I walked into the Library yesterday and asked for a book on Genocide, r**..., killing and having s**... with children... The Librarian smiled handed me a copy of the Qur'an.
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Children Book One Liners
Which children book one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with children book? I can suggest the ones about kid story and christmas books.
- Just found out I will be in a children's book... Well it's more of a register
- What do you call a childrens book aimed at synaesthetes? Horton hears a hue.
- What's Jon Snow's favorite children's book? Where The Wildlings Are
- Did you hear who wrote the new childrens book on United Airlines? Dr.Seus
- I'm reading a book about missing children. I'm on page 404.
- What is the name of a children's book by someone who hates children? I hate children.
- What do you call the best pictures in a rapper's childrens' book? The "ill-est"rations.
- Hop on Pop Hop on Pop is a fun children's book, Hop on Cop is i**....
Gather Around for Fun Children Book Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about children book you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coloring book jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make children book pranks.
A priest and a shepherd...
... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three ladies cheap to rent.
But they were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
Inigo Montoya gets married
He tells his new wife that he has always wanted a son to carry on the family name. They try for several years, but never have any children. Upset, he takes her to Miracle Max to see what can be done. Miracle Max looks her over, asks some questions, consults his books, and comes back with the bad news. He tells Inigo that his wife will never bear children. It turns out that she's inconceivable.
Timbuktu
Once in a quizshow. There were an Australian and a priest competing against each other. Their scores were equal, so they had to create a verse about "Timbuktu".
The priest began:
"I was a father, all my life,
had no children, had no wife.
I read the Bible, through and through.
On my way to Timbuktu."
Then the Australian told his version:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went,
we met three ladies cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
so I booked one and Tim booked two!"
I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book
It's about a v**... whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.
I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.
Because I try to be honest with myself, for Christmas I got my mom a book called "But, I'm Still Your Mom: How to Deal With Your Disappointing Grown Children"
Amazon says it should be here by the 29th.
Kim Jong-il
When kim Jong-il was alive, a great deal of North Korean p**... was created claiming things like Kim Jong-il and his father created the world, and that Kim Jong-il does not urinate or d**....
Apparently, p**... was also created for the children of North Korea in the form of a book titled "Everybody Poops... Except Kim Jong-il"
My wife made me go to a b**... book reading today with whole families and children.
I think the book was called fifty shades of Christ.
There was once a poem contest...
Contestants were supposed to use the word **Timbuktu** in their poem. All contestants gave their best poems but then came along the priest and his poem was
*All along through my life*
*i had no children and had no wife*
*I read the Bible through and through*
*All the way to Timbuktu*
The judges and audience were taken aback by his poem and decided that he won. That was until the shepherd Dave came with his award winning poem
*When I and Tim to Brisbane went*
*We found three woman cheap to rent*
*They were three and we were two*
*So I book one and Tim book two*
Satan appears to a lawyer...
...and says to him, "I offer you this deal. Every year for the next five years, you will have 5,000 billable hours at three times your current rate. You will win every case, and some of your cases will become landmarks in the law books. After the five years, your soul, as well as the souls of your wife, your children, their spouses, and your grandchildren will all be forfeit to me, and you will all be d**... for eternity."
The lawyer thought for a few seconds and then asked, "So, what's the catch"
Timbuktu...
A priest and an Australian shepherd got a tie in a quiz show so they have to solve the last question: find a rhyme on the word Timbuktu.
After five minutes the priest returns and says:
"I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu..."
The crowd was cheering him and thought he would win as the shepherd returns:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went, we met three ladies cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, so I booked one and Tim booked two..."
Ms. Teacher is experimenting new ways to make kids learn..
She asks children questions from the book chapter by chapter. And if the children answer the questions from the 1^st chapter, she will kiss them on one cheek. If they answer the second chapter too, she would kiss them on both cheek. Most kids got stuck on the second chapter and some went to the third chapter and Ms. Teacher kissed them on both cheeks and the lips. Then came little Johnny's turn.
Johnny: (smirking) You better have your table cleared.
Ms. : Why?
Johnny : I know the whole book, even the acknowledgements.
What rhymes with Timbuktu?
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three women cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
So there are three prisoners
who have all been sentenced to twenty years behind bars. They are all allowed to have a few items in their cell. The first prisoner asks for a pile of law books, the second for his wife, and the third for three thousand cigarettes. When they are released the first prisoner walks out happy and says, "Thank god for those books. I can now finally fulfill my dream of being a lawyer. The second walks out and says, "Thank god for my wife. I now have four children and I am now going to settle down and have a nice family life. Then the third walks out and says, "Anyone got a match?"
There is a tie for 1st place at a poetry slam...
The two contestants with the equal highest score are a Priest and a Scotsman. To decide which one should be the winner the judges take a random word out of a hat and give both of them 2 minutes to make a short poem with said word. The word being "Timbuktu".
The 2 minutes are up and the priest goes first:
"I've been devoted all my life,
Have no children, have no wife.
I've read the bible through and through,
All the way to timbuktu!"
The audience applaudes, and the Scotsman is up:
"Me and Tim to London went,
Met three ladies in a tent.
Since there were three, and we were two,
I booked one, and Timm booked two!"