The Best 68 Childre Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Childre jokes. There are some childre baby jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these childre child puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Childre Jokes and Puns
What are children generally better at then adults?
Giving the pope an errection
How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go swimming?
Children Are Hereditary
Children are hereditary...
if your parents were not able to have any children, chances are you won't be able to either.
Did you know having children is hereditary?
If your parents don't have them, neither will you.
"Now little ones, where do children go when they do bad things...?", Mrs Mary asked.
"I know! I know!", Little Johnny said with vigour, " they go behind the bushes in the playground!"
"Please little Johnny, mind what you say"
"Oh its true Mrs Mary!", voiced Susan enthusiastically, "T.J took me there and showed me his Weiner."
The teacher gasped in horror as T.J smiled mischievously.
"Oh, it was like a peanut it was!"
"Hah, so it was tiny?", the teacher relieved, asked.
"No, salty!"
If we're all God's children,
Children in the backseat cause accidents.
But accidents in the backseat cause children.
What do children in north korea study for a science?
Kimistry
How are children born?
Little peter and little Johnny asked their grandma,"How children are born Granny?".
"The Stark brings them in his beak my children", said Grandma.
Little Peter and little Johnny looked at each other and Little Jonny said ,"What do you think Peter, Shall we tell her?"
"No No" said Peter,"Leave her in her innocence"
Why couldn't the children see their father after his sex change?
Because he was trans-parent
How many children did Josh Duggar molest?
19 kids and counting.
Too soon? :/
You can explore childre kiddy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean childre robbers dad jokes. There are also childre puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I like my children how I like my essays.
Unplanned and poorly executed
I think my children are spoiled
I must have left them unrefrigerated for too long before eating them.
"I have 14 children, Groucho"
Woman: I have 14 children, Groucho .
Groucho: You have 14 children? Why do you have so many kids?
Woman: Because I love my husband .
Groucho: I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth every once in a while.
you know what never gets old?
Children who died at a young age.
The little children
I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks.
I like my children how I like my Christmas decorations
Only on the holidays.
Ever wonder why children tend to ignore their parents who underwent a sex change op?
It's because they are trans-parent.
I want my children to have all the things that I never had.
Like nice children...
If you want to know what it's like to have children...
Just imagine you're drowning...and then someone hands you a baby...
Credit to Jim Gaffigan.
If we're all God's Children...
What's so special about Jesus ?
How are children like cellphones?
If you've lost one and haven't found it in a couple days, chances are it's probably dead.
Children are so unappreciative these days.
I bought my daughter a rabbit.
She just keeps complaining about how it "doesn't count if it's roadkill".
How are children like slinkies?
It's fun to toss them down stairs.
Children with gay fathers as parents, I seriously sympathize you all
It's not easy growing up with twice the dad jokes.
Where should children with ADHD be sent?
A Concentration Camp!
Do you know the way little children run towards the waves of the ocean but back up the very last second?
That's the exact same way I flirt with girls
How many children does it take to save a failing marriage?
Zero.
My children made me a philosopher
I'm always stopping and asking myself why
Children must be really dangerous...
Most of the flammable stuff I own tells me to KEEP AWAY from them!
Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?
Employee discounts
Children are like testicles.
If anyone hurts mine then I'm bound to cry.
Why do so many children aspire to be astronauts?
Some men just want to watch the world turn.
Having Children is like having debt
It's best to avoid both in your twenties
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
You have to be alive to have autism.
I can't believe the way they used the Childrens Health Insurance Program during the budget debate...
It was like a bargaining CHIP.
Three children talking to each other...
The 1st kid : "My dad loves cars, so he is a car driver."
The 2nd kid : "My dad loves buses, so he is a bus driver."
The 3rd kid(not sure what his dad loves) : "My dad always screws up,so he is a screwdriver."
Children in florida during the hurricanes,
They all got free swimming lessons in the comfort of their home.
What do children in India say to their mothers before they go to school?
Mumbai
Why were the children disappointed when their teacher gave them Pie?
It was a maths teacher.
Children are like Tumors...
They cost a lot of money to deal with, but eventually they grow on you.
What do children learn from Green Eggs and Ham?
If someone you strongly dislike really really wants you to eat something strange for no apparent reason, you should try it.
Children are like problems.
I only care about mine.
What do children with cancer and dark jokes have in common
They both never get old
"I want three children," said my wife.
"I think I'd prefer to have two," I replied. "But that might change over time."
And it certainly has. Now that we've got two I would prefer we had none.
You should never let your children watch the symphony on television.
Too much sax and violins
Didn't want to have children any more so I went and got a vasectomy
But when I came home they were still here...
What do children and tattoos have in common?
Both are pretty permanent, but can be removed with lasers.
Why do children of recovering alcoholics have such big family reunions?
They have twelve-step-parents.
Children are like socks
Alot of them go missing.
Children are a lot like farts
you can normally tolerate your own but other people's are particularly unpleasant.
All children go through a phase of saying "no" to everything.
For german children it's the age of "nein".
All the children had names,
except
Why were children used as chimney sweepers during the victorian era?
They were the only ones soot-able for that type of job
I'd never let my children watch the orchestra
There's too much sax and violins.
*
When we were children, we used to refer to our Grandad as Spiderman.
He didn't have any special powers, he just couldn't get out of the bath without any assistance.
What do children and Jackson Pollocks have in common?
I look at both and think I could make them myself, but don't want them in my freaking house.
Why are anti-vaxxer's children good at keeping secrets?
Cause they don't live to tell the tale
Why aren't children allowed to watch movies about green ogres?
Because of all the Shrexual content.
Children
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them how to walk and talk,and the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up
Children are born with 4 kidneys.
Upon maturity, 2 develop into adult knees.
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently it's more than six because it's still dark in my basement.
Children left alone in the backseat can cause accidents,
which is ironic considering that accidents in the backseat can cause children.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs. The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs."
How many children do you need to paint a wall red?
It depends on how strong your throw is.
There are children being born who's parents weren't alive when Shrek was released in 2001
It's crazy how the years start coming and they simply don't stop coming
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Might take the children to the Goat farm for lunch today.
Apparently they do Kid's meals.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the childre adults jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working childre cops piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.