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Child Protection Jokes

19 child protection jokes and hilarious child protection puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about child protection that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Child Protection Short Jokes

Short child protection jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The child protection humour may include short child care jokes also.

  1. A father and his son are visited by the Child Protective Services. The agent asks the son, "Do you know why we are visiting you today?" The son thought a bit and replied: "Beats Me"
  2. I always said, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours." Child Protective Services said, "That's no excuse."
  3. What's the difference between a rottweiler and child protective services? If a rottweiler gets a hold of your child you might be able to get him back.
  4. Five little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and bumped his head, his momma called the doctor, and the doctor said, "I'm calling Child Protective Services."
  5. Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying? Because they were being forcibly taken from their mother and father by child protection services.
  6. Kids just can't be beat. At least that's what Child Protective Services keeps telling me.
  7. Why does the Catholic Church protect paedophiles? Because the last time they shunned a child m**..., he started Islam.
  8. Fellas if you're gonna r**... someone Wear protection, having a child unprepared could ruin your life

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Child Protection One Liners

Which child protection one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with child protection? I can suggest the ones about protection and witness protection.

  1. I lost my favorite ash tray. Child Protective Services took him.
  2. What's the motto for Child Protective Services? "You shake em' we take em!"
  3. What is Liam Neeson's Greatest Fear? Child Protective Services
  4. My kid just called Child Protective Services because he still has an iPhone 5S.

Child Protection Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about child protection you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kid safe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make child protection pranks.

A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"

A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"
Dad: "A man is someone who loves you unconditionally , cares about you and protects you!"
Child: "Oh okay! When i grow up, I want to be a man just like mom!"

3 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell down and bumped its head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said no more monkeys jumping on the bed.

2 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell down and bumped its head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said no more monkeys jumping on the bed!
1 little monkey jumping on the bed. It fell down and bumped its head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor called child protective services.

Did you hear about the kid born without eyelids?

Yeah, apparently a baby boy was born without eyelids just last week! Obviously that was a problem and the child's sight wouldn't last long unless the doctors acted quick, so they decided to take a skin graft from the boy and use it to protect his eyes. The most logical solution for the quick thinking doctor was to use the child's f**..., since he would probably be circumcised anyways.
Those are about all the details I know from the story, but I guess the baby is doing ok. The doctor said he would be fine, and should keep his eyesight, he just might end up a little c**...-eyed.