Chil Jokes
133 chil jokes and hilarious chil puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chil that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Quirky and Hilarious Chil Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What is a good chil joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero
The Invisible Man
You know, as a child I was always told to give one hundred precent at everything I do...
Needless to say the blood drive did not go very well.
A child was born without a body...
The doctor said there was nothing they could do, but the parents cared for their child anyways.
Several years later, the parents were approached by the same doctor, saying, "I've got some good news. We now have the capability to give your child a body, would you like that?" Of course the parents were overjoyed and immediately agreed.
Another few years went by, and the parents enjoyed being able to hold their child at least, but they wanted their child to have the best life possible, so of course they accepted when the doctor offered to give their child arms.
They loved being able to play with their baby, but were sad that they couldn't teach him to walk. They prayed for the day that the doctor would come just one last time, and it finally came. The doctor asked if they would like to try a new procedure to give their child legs, and they joyfully accepted.
They enjoyed all their time running and playing with their newly whole child, until one day the child was playing in the yard and ran right in front of a cement truck and died.
I guess you could say that the moral of this story is, "stop while you're a head".
How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go swimming?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a child is walking with a stick
when another kid walks up to him and start picking on him. "your stick is s**... and you're ugly!". the child shrugs his shoulders and asks "you know how they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?". "yeah, so what?" responds the kid. the child flashes a grin, looks the kid straight in the eyes and whispers "my sticks name is beauty"
A Child Didn't Attend School
Late afternoon, the grandma saw the teacher walking up their driveway. She asked her grandson, "Did you leave school early today?" He hung his head and admitted, "Yes Grandma." The grandma thought it was hilarious and assured him saying she would tell the teacher that she hadn't seen him all day. "Maybe you should go hide," she suggested. "Oh no, Grandma. *You* should hide, not me!" Surprised, she asked why. The grandson said, "I told the teacher you died!"
A child and Human Origin
A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Children Are Hereditary
Children are hereditary...
if your parents were not able to have any children, chances are you won't be able to either.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Childish immature jokes are the best
* Step 1: say "eye"
* Step 2: spell the word "map"
* Step 3: say "nus"
* Now say that all together...
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
A child asks his father how to be happy. He replied, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married..."
"...and then it was too late."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Now little ones, where do children go when they do bad things...?", Mrs Mary asked.
"I know! I know!", Little Johnny said with vigour, " they go behind the bushes in the playground!"
"Please little Johnny, mind what you say"
"Oh its true Mrs Mary!", voiced Susan enthusiastically, "T.J took me there and showed me his w**...."
The teacher gasped in horror as T.J smiled mischievously.
"Oh, it was like a peanut it was!"
"Hah, so it was tiny?", the teacher relieved, asked.
"No, salty!"
Why was Pluto's child unexpected?
Because it didn't plan it.
If we're all God's children,
What do children in north korea study for a science?
Kimistry
As a child I had difficulty putting things down
It's a habit I can't seem to let go.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why couldn't the children see their father after his s**... change?
Because he was trans-parent
What did the child with no hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows yet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Child walks in on parents in c**...
Mummy and Daddy are having s**... and their beautiful child walks in. Flustered, Mummy leaps off the bed (and off her husband) and wittingly tries to console what she thinks is her scarred son.
son: mummy, what's going on?
mum: oh son! I was just helping your daddy to flatten his belly
son: but why mummy? there's no point. the nanny just comes and blows it back up again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's another name for the child s**... offender registry?
The p**... file.
I went to a child psychologist once.
He was rubbish. He was only seven.
A child has a crippling fear of the word 'this'. He goes to the doctor with his mother to discuss his problem.
The Doctor asks "What's the problem?"
And the mother replies "There's no easy way to say this."
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Chil One Liners
Which chil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chil? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Have you heard the one about the terminally ill chil? It never gets old
- Why are Chilean lacrosse players so cool? Because they're Chil-lax.
