The Best 45 Chihuahua Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chihuahua jokes. There are some chihuahua collie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chihuahua taco bell chihuahua puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chihuahua Jokes and Puns

Two guys and their dogs are walking down the street...'s got a german shepherd and the other's got a chihuahua.

They get hungry so the german shepherd guy suggests they grab a bite to eat at the restaurant on the corner, but his friend says, "They won't let us into a restaurant with our dogs!"

"Just follow my lead," says the first guy.

He walks up and the maitre'd says, "What are you, nuts?! You can't come in here with a dog!"

"But it's a seeing eye dog," the guy with the german shepherd explains.

"Oh, excuse me, now I understand. Go right ahead," says the maitre'd.

The next guy walks up and the maitre'd stops him too. "You can't come in here with a dog!"

Following his friend's cue the guy says, "But it's a seeing eye dog!"

The maitre'd looks skeptical and says, "Sir - that's no seeing eye dog. It's just a chihuahua."

The guy jumps back in shock... "WHAT!? They gave me a chihuahua!!?"

Why did the Chihuahua put on a jacket?

Because it was a chili dog!

Some guys are talking about pets...

They get to talking about how good big dogs are because they can make good guard dogs.

One of the guys says "I preferred my old chihuahua pebbles better. And no other dog made me feel safer! He died killing a rabid full grown doberman for me!"

The other guys are confused and ask how that was even possible.

"The doberman choked to death."

Chihuahua joke, Some guys are talking about pets...

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar, and asks:

-who owns the big dobermann outside.

-I own that dog, the meanest and ugliest of the bikers say.

-I am truly sorry, but it appears that my little Chihuahua has killed it.

-"What? How is that possible?" The biker says.

-Well, your dog got mine stuck in its throat.

Chihuahuas are a lot like farts...

...only their owners can stand them.

Two guys were walking their dogs....

Two guys were walking their dogs-one had a German Shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the Shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man says, "They're not going to let dogs into the bar." And the first guy says, "No? Watch this." So he puts on some dark glasses, acts like the German Shepherd is a seeing-eye dog, walks into the bar and orders a drink. And no one says anything. So the second guy takes out some dark glasses, slips them on, and walks his Chihuahua into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry-we don't allow dogs in here." And the man says, "It's okay-it's my seeing-eye dog." The bartender laughs and says, "This Chihuahua is your seeing-eye dog?" And the guy says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree

He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas genitals and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."

Chihuahua joke, A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree

What's the difference between a Golden Chihuahua and a Golden Shower?

You never have to pay before the dog'll pee on you.

What do you call a chihuahua with a rainbow colored fur?


How does a dog play Hendrix on guitar?

With a chihuahua pedal.

What is the difference between a chihuahua humping your leg and a pit bull humping your leg?

The pit bull gets to finish.

You can explore chihuahua pinscher reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chihuahua eye dad jokes. There are also chihuahua puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A fox and a chihuahua bump into each other

The fox says: 'I'm sorry'
The chihuahua replies: 'Orale, I'm perry'

My grandparents just got a chihuahua named Peewee

We call him Peewee hermano

What do you get when you crossbreed a Chihuahua with a German Shepherd?

A que-nein.

Why is my wife like a chihuahua in bed?

Because she's a little ruff

What do you call a massive chihuahua?

A ChihuaWOW!

Chihuahua joke, What do you call a massive chihuahua?

How does a chihuahua kill a rottweiler?


How does a chihuahua say good day in japanese?


Why did the Chihuahua pupper chew up the oak tree?

He wanted to have more bark.

What do you get when you take a Great Dane and cross it with a Chihuahua?

A dead chihuahua.

How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello?


Why did Conor McGregor get a Chihuahua?

He wasn't ready for a Boxer.

My chihuahua shakes a lot.

Turns out he has **Barkinsons**

Today I saw a baby Chihuahua killing a Great Dane.


Great Dane choked to death.

I get really embarrassed when female guests visit my house and my dog sniffs their crotch.

Ok, he's a chihuahua and I have to lift him up, but it's still embarrassing.

Why did Connor McGregor get a Chihuahua?

He couldn't handle a Boxer.

There once was a beautiful Chihuahua and she had 3 Chihuahua suitors. She told them she would date the one who could most creatively use the words Liver and Cheese in a sentence.

The first Chihuahua said he likes his liver with a little cheese.

The second Chihuahua said he likes his cheese with a little liver.

The third Chihuahua said, Liver alone! Cheese Mine!

As a kid growing up in the Vietnam I could always tell how well the economy was by what type of dog food my parents bought.

Chihuahua when it was bad, Black lab when it was good.

I get embarrassed when my dog sniffs peoples' crotch

Especially because he's a chihuahua and I have to lift him up.

Did you hear about the chihuahua that killed the German Shepherd

It got stuck in its throat.

A man walks into a bar and leaves his Great Dane outside

All of a sudden, someone bursts into the bar and asks the man: "Excuse me, is that your Great Dane outside? My Chihuahua has just killed it!"

The man stares back very confused. "What? Your Chihuahua has just killed my 150lb Great Dane? That's impossible! What could your Chihuahua have done to kill my Great Dane?"

"Well, I think it choked on my Chihuahua"

Whats the difference between a chihuahua and a Jewish kid playing Hopscotch?

One is yippy and skiddish, the other is skippy and Yiddish!

What do you get if you mate a bear and a chihuahua?

a dead chihuahua and a dissatisfied bear

Guy walks into a bar

Bartender: Sorry sir, we don't allow dogs in the bar.

Guy: It's a seeing eye dog.

Bartender: They gave you a Chihuahua?

Guy: They Gave me a Chihuahua???

A blind man walks into a shop with a chihuahua...

wearing black sunglasses and a walking cane.

A shop assistant comes over and says "sorry sir, but we don't allow dogs in here".
The man replies, "but this is my guide dog!".
"Oh.." says the shop assistant, "I thought they were meant to be labradors?"
The man says "oh god, what have I got!"

I entered my Chihuahua in an 'ugliest dog' contest and I won first place!

My dog came in third.

Sick chihuahua

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They're immediately taken back to a room.

Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.

This must be a mistake, the man says. I've been here only 20 minutes!

No mistake, the doctor says. It's $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.

What did the chihuahua name his sailboat?

El Barko

A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.

Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."

Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"

Poodle: "That's not gonna work"

Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"

Poodle: "...No"


If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it...

a chihuahua 500 miles away will bark at it.

A man walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar and asks,

"Does anyone here own the Rottweiler outside?"

"Yeah, I do!" says a biker, standing up. "What about it?"

"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." The man hesitated.

"What are you talking about?!" the biker says in disbelief. "How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?"

"Well, he got stuck in your dog's throat."

Dog Show Hair Remover

A young woman had entered her dog in the dog show in the smooth-haired breed category. To give it an advantage, she went to the pharmacist for some hair remover. The pharmacist gave her the product requested and advised, "Just remember to keep your arms up for at least five minutes." "Errr... it's not for my armpits," she flustered, embarrassed, "it's for my Chihuahua" "Oh well, in that case," said the pharmacist, "don't ride a bike for twenty minutes."

A dog owner is relaxing in the park when a man approaches.

β€”I'm sorry, but my chihuahua just killed your dog.

β€”That's absurd, my dog is a mastiff. How your ridiculously small chihuahua could possibly kill mine?

β€”Well, my dog got stuck in your dog's throat and choke him to death.

I find it really embarrassing that whenever anyone visits my house, the dog starts sniffing their crotch.

Especially, as it is a Chihuahua and I have to lift him up.

I wrapped my Chihuahua in a hot dog bun for warmth..

It was a chili dog.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chihuahua dachshund jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chihuahua glint piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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