Chief Jokes
126 chief jokes and hilarious chief puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chief that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious Chief jokes! With jokes relating to everyone from the Navy Chief to the Fire Chief, you'll find hysterical jokes no matter your tribe or executive position. From MASTER CHIEF to the CREW CHIEF to the Police Chief and more, you'll find a joke that will bring a smile to your face - even the President!
Quick Jump To
- Short Chief Jokes
- Chief One Liners
- Police Chief Jokes
- Fire Chief Jokes
- Commander Chief Jokes
- Master Chief Jokes
- More Chief Jokes
Funniest Chief Short Jokes
Short chief jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chief humour may include short chairman jokes also.
- Why did the police chief tell his officers to show up 15 minutes early to the political demonstration? To beat the crowds.
- The Chief of Police died responding to people changing font on town signs There we were, left sans-sheriff
- A Cherokee chief walks into a hotel. The receptionist: You have a reservation?
Yeah you're right. The Cherokee chief walks away. - Why was Buzzfeed's chief editor found dead in the bathroom? He couldn't believe number two would shock him.
- What did they call the arab dairy farmer who became the chief? A milk sheikh
Figured I had 6 min for my cake day, and for some reason that was the joke that popped in my head - Why did the police chief assign the epileptic cop to K9 patrol? They made a perfect team. The K9 did the searches and the cop did the seizures!
- what happens when the newspaper editor meets the cannibal chief? He becomes editor-in-chief.
- Police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly underwear But the chief inspector said they must wear their normal uniforms.
- How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? 11. One chief of police to oversee it, and 10 cops to beat the lightbulb until it wants to change.
- Police are asking the public to be on the look out for a homicidal chiropractor. The Chief reports that the best line of defense is to watch your back.
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Chief One Liners
Which chief one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chief? I can suggest the ones about court and master.
- An Indian Chief drinks 1,000 gallons of ice tea He drowned in his own tepee
- What do you call the president when he is not wearing underwear? The commando in chief.
- What do you call a chef with one eye? Chief
- What do you call an editor that sleeps with a native American? Editor in chief.
- How did the chief of police solve his fly infestation problem? He called the SWAT team
- I was named Chief Speaker at the Society of Introverts. Thank God no-one showed up.
- How do you prevent clickbait? This ain't it, Chief.
- What is the Master Chief's favorite band? Slayer.
- The chief designer of the Titanic had a lisp... That's unthinkable!
- What do you call the leader of the Cravings Tribe? The "Hanker"chief
- Who is in charge of the tissues? The Hankie Chief.
- Ever hear about the Indian Chief who drank 40 cups of tea? He drowned in his tea-pee
- What do you call the head of an Orange juice factory? Chief Naval Officer
- you hear about the indian chief that drank a case of tea he died in his tee pee
- What do you call an Arabic chief who loves dairy products? A milk-sheikh
Police Chief Jokes
Here is a list of funny police chief jokes and even better police chief puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Police Chief to new recruit. Police Chief: As a recruit, youll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup! - One day in 1960's China... Mao told his chief of police to send 10,000 intellectuals and a clown to rural exile. The police chief asked "Why the clown?" Mao laughed and said "That's the spirit!"
- Police want to interview a man suspected for a string of robberies wearing stockings and suspenders. However, the Chief Constable has insisted they wear their normal uniform.
- Why did the police chief hate going into the basement? Because it was beneath his station.
:P - Our local police station has had the toilets stolen and the Police Chief has put out a press release. ... Quote... At this time the detectives have nothing to go on....
- Police Chief: There has been a car hi on Seventh Street Police Officer: Don't you mean a hijack?
Chief: No, he had an iPhone 7 - The Fifa president, Secretary General, and communications director are in a car. Who is driving? The Police.
This joke got their PR chief fired today. - Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues.
What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup! - Harvey Weinstein just turned himself in to the police station: Police Chief: "I understand your intentions, but please pull up your pants"...
- When the Chief of Police has a movie night for the guys, but picks up the wrong horror movie. Nah, this ain't It , Chief.
Fire Chief Jokes
Here is a list of funny fire chief jokes and even better fire chief puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- on fire The chief of the fire department walks into the room where the other firemen wait and says: "Take it easy boys, the Tax Office is on fire."
- What did the mexican fire chief call his 2 sons? Hose A and hose B (read it out loud)
- As Dyslexic VP frustrated by having multiple bosses, I don't get why I was fired when I suggested to the Chief Executive to get the FOC out of my business.
Commander Chief Jokes
Here is a list of funny commander chief jokes and even better commander chief puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- This clown thing has gone too far I mean, he could very well became our commander in chief in a month or so.
- Fun Presidential Trivia The annual salary of Commander-in-Chief is legally set at $400,000 per year. Except for our next one, who will only make $316,000 (or 79% to every man's dollar).
Master Chief Jokes
Here is a list of funny master chief jokes and even better master chief puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How does master chief lure the covenant into his trap? He master...baits... hue hue hue hue hue..
credit to my XBL party earlier and lack of sleep - What would Master Chief's name be if he was a woman? Master Chef
- What is master chief's favorite dessert? Halo-halo
- Halo: The master chief collection
Heartwarming Chief Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about chief you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean principal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chief pranks.
Did you hear about the Native American chief who drank 50 gallons of Earl Grey?
He was found dead in the morning, drowned in his tee-pee.
Aftershave's aftereffects.
A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like.
The Drums Must Not Stop
A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."
The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies.
His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; "It looks like it will be pretty bad". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them again if winter will be bad. They answer, "It is going to be one of the worst winters in a decade." The Chief goes back to the village and tells them to gather more firewood. Then he goes for a third time to the weather station and asks them again, "will the winter be bad?" They respond, "It will be the worst winter in a century." The chief asks them, "How do you know winter will be bad?" They answer, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"
A cut above the rest
Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".
Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf h**... was also a star athlete....
He was the fascist kid on the playground.
The Longest Memory in the World
One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the world. So the man decides to go visit the Chief and asks: "So I hear you have the greatest memory in the world." The Chief answers "I do. I can remember every single detail of my entire life." The man figures he should test this, and asks the Chief "What did you have for breakfast on April the 27th, 1959?" After stopping to think for a second, the chief answers "two eggs." Satisfied, the man says goodbye to the Chief and eventually leaves the village.
Twenty years later, the man takes another trip out West and comes across the same village. He's amazed when he notices the Chief, still alive after all these years. The man, stops and says hello, so he raises his hand and says, "How" and the Chief replies "fried."
A cowboy is riding across the plain one day,
when he sees an Indian chief laying on the ground with his ear pressed firmly to the earth. Never having seen this before, the cowboy says "Hey chief whatcha doin there." The chief in broken english says "Ugg, buffalo come." The cowboy says "That's amazing chief, how can you tell?" The Chief reply's "Ear sticky."
Black sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child.
The police finally catch a notorious criminal,
so the chief himself decides to interrogate him.
Chief: "Let me see here, you have quite the backstory. Theft, forgery, burglary, forgery, blackmail, theft, forgery, forgery, forgery, the list goes on and on. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Criminal: "Well, it took me a while to figure out my area of expertise."
A n**... man...
... was running outside and causing some pandemonium.
The police tried everything to get this man to stop: pepper spray, tazers, rubber bullets...nothing seemed to work.
With a big grin, one officer turned to the Chief and said, "I've got an idea...we spray him with Windex!"
The Chief, confused asked how that would help...
The new guy says, "Windex prevents streaking..."
Oogaly Boogaly
A white man, Chinese man and a black man were in Africa doing research when they were captured by a tribe. First, they were tied to stakes. The chief then walked up to the white man and asked, death or oogaly boogaly. The white man thought, I don't want to die, I'll take oogaly boogaly. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest, within sight of the other two and all of the tribesmen r**... him. The chief then asked the Chinese man, death or oogaly boogaly? the Chinese man thought, remembered the screems of the white man, but didn't want to die. So he said, 'oogaly boogaly'. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest and all of the tribesmen r**... him. Then the chief walked up to the black man and asked 'death, or oogaly boogaly?' The black man said, naw man, just give me death.' The chief said 'OK, death, by oogaly boogaly!
British clock in german hands
During world war II, a british clock found its way into german hands. The strange thing about this clock was it went tick-tick-tick-tick, instead of tick-tock-tick-tock. The germans could not figure this out.
Finally, it went to the gestapo. Their chief interrogator softly whispered to the clock " We haff ways to make you tock"
Old Native American joke
A young Indian boy was curious about how he got his name. He asked the chief, "Chief, how do we get our names?"
The Chief answers him, "We give names by what is outside of the teepee during ones birth.
"When your mom was born, it was a beautiful April day, so we named her BlueSky.
"After your dad's birth we were greeted by a majestic deer, so we named him WhiteTail."
The chief looked at the boy a little puzzled,
"Why do you ask BearFuckingBear?"
So this atheist explorer is in trouble...
...with a tribe of savage cannibals. He's cornered with no possible way out when he exclaims in his desperation 'God, I'm s**...!'
Suddenly the clouds part and a booming voice says 'No son, you are not. Take that rock near your right foot and throw it at that old cannibal with the large headdress!'
The explorer obeys, and the chief of the tribe lies dead on the ground.
The voice says 'NOW you're s**...!'
A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...
When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.
Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".
He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"
The Albino and the Black Sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.
The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Ok, ok, you no tell anyone, I no tell anyone."
REPORT: Number 9 found dead, half eaten in home. 7 has been brought in for questioning.
When asked for comment, the Chief of Police said, "Due to overwhelming evidence, 7 is the prime suspect in this case."
A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach...
...of an island and is surrounded by a group of warriors.
I'm done for, the man cries in despair.
No, you are not, comes a booming voice from the heavens. Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab a spear and push it through the heart of the warrior chief.
The man does what he is told, turns to the heavens, and asks, Now, what?
The booming voice replies, Now you are done for.
An albino child in an African tribe...
This puts the tribe's chief in a fury and immediatly summons the white m**... that was sent by the Church in his village.
Chief: "Explain the white kid, white man!"
Priest: "Well, you see, a white child amongst your black tribe is... like the black lamb that was recently born in your herd of white sheep, they..."
Chief, interrupting: "If... if you keep quiet about the black lamb, I'll keep quiet about the child."
A military plane crashes on a cannibal island
The soldiers are captured, and the chief asks them "Right, which one of you is the commander?"
"That's me, Commander Joe Miller."
"Well, congratulations, Joe, by tomorrow you'll be Commander-in-Chief!"
I saw the chief of a New York City police on the news
I saw the chief of New York City police on the news, he said "We will never forget 9/11"
I said "Well I sure f**...' hope not it's your phone number"
An Indian Chief is sitting under a tree...
An Indian Chief and his son are sitting under a tree, looking out over the plains when his son asks: "Father, why is sister named, Running Deer?"
Chief: "Because, my son, when she was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a deer running."
Son: "Father, why is brother called Charging Bull?"
Chief: "Because my son, when he was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a bull running. Why do you ask, p**... Dog?
First Pitch or ...
One sunny afternoon in 1999, Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a baseball game. Right as the game was getting ready to start, Bill stood up, picked up Hillary, and threw her out onto the baseball diamond. When Bill Clinton sat down, his chief advisor leaned over to him and said, "You know, Bill, you may have misunderstood me. I said you that you get to throw out the first pitch."
Indian Instincts
There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come."
"How do you know?"
"Ground shaky."
The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens.
"Man come."
"Is there a vibration?"
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
"Ground sticky."
My local police chief does a talk on h**......
So you can't understand any of it.
A long time ago, an Indian chief fell into an outhouse.
An Indian chief fell into an outhouse.
Several days later a man went into the outhouse and noticed the chief. Startled the man asked, "How long have you been in there?"
"Many moons my son, many moons!"
And that was my favorite joke as a kid.
Son of chief: "Father, how are we named?"
Chief: "After you are born, your mother looks out of the teepee and names you the first thing she sees."
Son: "Oh wow, is that how you were named Soaring Eagle?"
Chief: "Yes, Horse Taking Dump"
b**... b**...
Two adventurers were captured by a tribe in the jungle.
The chief asked the first one: "Decide your fate: Death or b**... b**..."
He answered: "I choose b**... b**..." and was r**... by the whole tribe.
So the chief asked the second adventurer: "Death or b**... b**...".
He answered: "I choose death"
The chief: "Well, so it shall be. Death by b**... b**...!"
Trump may have dodged the draft but he was still given honorary military ranks.
Private Tax Return,
Major Embarrassment,
Chief Petty Officer,
General Incompetence.
After spending 90 days in the Persian Gulf, a sailor goes to complain to his master chief.
"Chief, I joined the Navy to see the world." The master chief replies, "Sailor, the Earth is 75 percent water. The navy showed you that, if you want to see the other 25 percent, join the army."
So there was a tribal chief who decided he needed the biggest hut in the village...
so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)
A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a m**...!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said m**...', you certainly meant the Czar!"
m**... in the jungle
A m**... lives with a tribe in the jungle, when one day the Chief of the tribe approaches him:
"You are the only white man around here, and now my daughter gave birth to a white child! Explain yourself, or prepare to die!"
The m**... hesitates for a moment, then replies:
"The nature is full of wonders. Look at those sheep over there. They are all white, except for one single lamb which is black."
The Chief: "... If you keep quiet, then I will too.
President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump
"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 21-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.
"I said I'm Donald Trump's Chief of staff, and I just killed the pig."
George Bush was sitting down at his desk during his morning briefing.
His chief of staff advised him that 3 Brazilian people had died this morning in a helicopter c**....
George sat there sulking in his chair and began weeping (uncharacteristically) to himself.
Sir, is everything alright? stated his chief of staff, to which George replied, How many is a Brazilian?
President Trump accidentally bumped into Chief Justice Roberts.
Trump: "Pardon me."
Roberts: "Well that is your absolute right."
A guy applies for a job with the Chicago Police Department
He has an impressive resume, gives the best answers to the interview questions, and is very enthusiastic about the job.
"Your qualifications are impressive" says the police chief. "Here's the final test. Take this gun, go out, and shoot ten black guys and a clown?"
The man asks, "why the clown?"
The police chief replies, "Fantastic attitude, you're hired!"
The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump
The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump, and offers him 50 Brazilian soldiers to help with the fight against terrorism. Trump says, That's fantastic!"
Later that day Trump calls his Chief of Staff and tells him about the offer of 50 Brazilian soldiers.
The Chief of Staff says, That's fantastic!"
Trump says, Yes, but remind me again, how many is a 'Brazilian?'"
During the annual cavemen conference ...
Greg : so I kept rubbing this rock against another rock until it became very thin and now I can cut vegetables,meat using this . I call this "The Knife" .
Chief Gogo : wow , I thought no-one can beat Gorg's invention of using wheat flour and water to create a new food called "bread" but yours is a worthy contender
Greg " that's not it ,chief "
And then places a piece of bread on the stone and takes the knife in his hand
" What I'm about to do will blow your mind " .
A Native American boy goes to his chief with a question
Chief Running Bear, where do our names come from?
The Chief replied, You are named after the first thing we see in nature after you are born. Soon after I was born, my chief saw a bear running through the trees, so I am named Running Bear. Why do you ask, Two Dogs h**...?
What did the cannibal chief say about eating one of his villagers?
Nothing, it was a very tender subject.
A traffic cop in a small town stopped a motorist for speeding.
"but Officer," said the driver, "I can explain-"
Save your excuses," said the cop. "You can cool your heels in jail till the chief gets back."
"But Officer..."
"Quiet!" snapped the cop. "You're going to jail the chief will deal with you when he gets back."
A few hours later the officer looks in at the prisoner. "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. It means he'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," said the prisoner. "I'm the groom."
A Native American tribe are looking for buffalo to hunt.
As they travel along, one member puts his ear to the ground for a moment and then says: buffalo come.
The chief asks How can you tell?
The man replies Sticky ear.
After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he's looking for a man with one eye.
but If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes.
An old guy walks into a biker bar...
... And sits down next to the leader of the gang.
"Your mom is pretty hot, you know?".
The biker chief sips his beer, sighs...
"Just go home, dad.".
A politician had recently committed s**...
"It is a very sad day," the Police Chief said, "and we have ruled that he has committed s**..., via 3 bullets to the head"
A Cherokee chief walks into a hotel.
The receptionist: You have a reservation?
The Cherokee chief walks away, feeling insulted and depressed.
A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm f**......'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''
''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.
''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.
The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.
As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're f**......''
A man insults the Tsar.
A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a m**...!". He is taken away by the police on charges of *lese majeste* (insulting the monarch).
He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!".
The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said m**...', you certainly meant the Tsar!"
The police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the m**... case?" The officer responded, "I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...
"Please, just wear your police uniform."
Sam got sick and taken to Middle-Earth Medical Center. Frodo rushed to the hospital, asking where Sam is. Chief Registrar Sauron replied:
ICU
A Donkey Was Found Dead In Front of a Church
So the priest did the reasonable thing and called the police chief.
Hey, i would like to report a donkey has been found dead in front of the church
The Chief replies: But father isn't that your specialty? You are knowledgeable on how to clean the body and prepare it for burial, right?
The priest replies: You are correct, but we like to notify the next of kin.
Recently the police were called to the residence of an elderly couple. The Chief radios the station that the wife has shot the husband.
The Sgt. at the station stammers "What? Why?" The Chief calls back "Well, apparently she warned him about walking on her freshly mopped floors one more time..." Sarge is in utter disbelief "Did you go and arrest her??" Chief said not yet. Sarge asked what the h**... he's waiting for. Chief radios back "The floor still isn't dry..."
The chief editor of the New York Times is traveling in the Amazon jungle
He travels deep into the jungle hoping to write a story about a tribe of cannibals.
After a couple of weeks he finally locates the tribe and starts spying on them from behind some trees.
He feels a tap on the shoulder and he quickly gets captured and finds himself t**... and looks down and sees a spit with glowing coals warming up below him.
He screams for mercy and says You don't understand, I'm the chief editor of the New York Times!! .
The head cannibal replied, relax…
Soon you'll be the editor in chief…
A Blonde woman moves into a brand new neighbourhood,
The following evening her house catches fire and starts burning quickly, she quickly calls emergency services and gets put through to the fire department,
Blonde: Hello my house is burning down, you must come quickly.
Fire Chief: Ok no problem tell us where you live.
Blonde: It's a new house outside of town, on a new development.
Fire Chief: we don't seem to have your address on our systems, tell us how to get there.
Blonde: Hellllloooooooooo in your fkn red truck !
A tourist decides to visit a native American Chief who is famous for his perfect memory.
"Okay, Chief..." says the tourist,
"Let's test that memory of yours. What did you eat for breakfast on May 9th, 1972?"
The Chief thinks for a moment, and responds "Eggs."
The tourist replies, "Wow, that's incredible! You really do have a perfect memory." and leaves.
Ten years later the tourist finds himself in the Chief's neck of the woods and decides to pay him a visit.
He enters the Chief's home and respectfully greets him, saying "Hau, Chief."
The Chief promptly replies, "Scrambled."
Speeder
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But, officer" the man began "I can explain"
"Just be quiet" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
In tonight's news...
Seattle police were astonished to find that all the toilets in the central precinct had been stolen overnight.
When asked about suspects, the Chief stated that they have nothing to go on.
A m**... lives with a tribe in the jungle
one day the Chief of the tribe approaches him:
"You are the only white man around here, and now my daughter gave birth to a white child! Explain yourself, or prepare to die!"
The m**... hesitates for a moment, then replies:
"Nature is full of wonders. Look at those sheep over there. They are all white, except for one single lamb which is black."
The Chief: "... If you keep quiet, then I will too.
The capital police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the congressional riot?" The officer responded, "I'd like to question the senator wearing high heels and a spandex leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...
"Please, just wear your police uniform."
