Chickpea Jokes
88 chickpea jokes and hilarious chickpea puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chickpea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chickpea Short Jokes
Short chickpea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chickpea humour may include short green pea jokes also.
- What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never begged to have a lentil on my face
- What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I bet you never heard of someone paying $20 to have a garbanzo bean on their face.
- What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean? I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.
- Q: What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? A: I didn't pay $50 to have a lentil on me last night.
- What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I didn't drill a hole in the bathroom wall to see a lentil.
- What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas? Black eyed peas can sing us a song, Chickpeas can only hummus one!
- What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? It doesn't cost me $50 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
- Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir? They could hummus a song!
(I was really proud of this one.) - What's the difference between a chickpea and a Brazilian nut? I wouldn't let a chickpea in my mouth.
- Did you hear about a chickpea who died saving his friend in the war? He received a posthummus medal.
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Chickpea One Liners
Which chickpea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chickpea? I can suggest the ones about black eyed pea and peas.
- What do you call it when a chickpea gets killed? Hummuside
- A man was found dead in vat of ground chickpeas. Police are considering it a hummus-cide.
- What do you call a chickpea that likes another chickpea? Hummusexual
- I ate a poisoned ball of chickpeas… And now I falafel.
- What did the chickpea say when it got sick? I falafel.
- What does hummus and a women's restroom have in common? Chickpeas in 'em
- What are peas attracted to? Chickpeas
- What do you call a chickpea that's fallen in love with another chickpea? A hummousexual.
- Why is the lentil perverted? It was watching the chickpea.
- Why was the Chickpea in Prison? He committed Hummus-ide
- What do you call chickpeas cooked in a waffle iron? Fawaffle!
- What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face? Having a chickpea on your face.
- It felt good to mash up all my chickpeas... But now I falafel.
- What do watersports and hummus have in common? Chickpeas
- Did you hear about the chickpeas who took a tumble? It was falafel.
Rib-Tickling Chickpea Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about chickpea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean garbanzo bean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chickpea pranks.
What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?
I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.
I ate so many chickpeas...
I falafel!
My new vegetarian girlfriend cooked me a meal.....
My new vegetarian girlfriend cooked me one of her favourite dishes last night.
"What are these little round things", I asked.
"Have you never seen a chick-pea before?", she said.
"Of course I have, my last girlfriend was up for anything, but that doesn't answer my question".
A somali girl found a chickpea and ate it..
..her family disowned her they thought she was pregnant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Det. Chick Pea at your service.
What do you call it when a chickpea smashes another chickpea to death.
Hummuscide
Thank you, I'll let myself out...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Death by chickpea...
What do you call it when a chickpea smashes another one to death?
Hummuscide
Thanks, I'm out.
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay £200 to let a lentil in my mouth.
Eating Hummus with my co-workers and I asked
Hey, what's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
... I've never paid $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
I'm allergic to chickpeas.
Any time I eat them I falafel.
What's a chickpea's favorite type of rock?
Pumice
What do you call one chickpeas smashing another?
Hummuscide...
*italics* gentleman bows
Did you hear about the chickpea freedom fighters?
They call themselves Hummas.
Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I wouldn't pay fifty bucks for a lentil on my chest.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
Nobody will pay money to watch a lentil.
I'm baking a vegan cake but I hate vegans so I've been insulting the ingredients..
It's not having any effect though, I guess it's hard to get a rise out of chickpeas
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?
A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a chickpea and a green pea?
Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a green pea on him.
Two sides of hummus decided to go out to eat
Two sides of hummus decided to go out to eat. Once they finished eating, they said, "chickpeas!"
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
Seeing a garbanzo bean isn't worth breaking the law.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You can't sing with a mouthful of chickpeas
so hummus a tune.
Whats the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lima bean on me.
I've heard that Donald Trump doesn't like having Japanese black beans in his office...
... but I know he's not at all averse to having a Russian chickpea in bed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do s**... deviants love hummus?
Because the chickpeas
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
Trump has never paid to see a garbanzo bean on a bed the Obamas slept in.
Two chickpeas are walking down the road
When one suddenly starts throwing up.
Hey man are you okay ?
no man I falafel
If you want to make good hummus, you need to know the difference between a lentil and a chickpea...
The difference is that the President never paid to have a lentil on his bed.
A worldwide chickpea shortage has caused Humus makers to add more lemon to the recipe
Retailers are expecting sales to fall and are prepared for a sharp dip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do a vegan and a s**... deviant have in common?
They both get excited when they see a chickpea!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
There's no video of Trump paying to have Russian garbanzo bean on him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a soybean and a chickpea?
Donald Trump wouldn't pay $500 to have a soybean in his mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
I don't get hard when a garbanzo beans on my face.
Have you guys heard about the police investigation into the death of a chickpea?
It was a hummus-ide.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
Chickpeas don't get reposted every single friggin day you unfunny b**....
Kitchen humor: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I would not let a lentil on my face.
What's the difference between a green bean and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay $50 to see a green bean.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you electrocute a chickpea?
You'll get charged with hummuscide
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How is hummus like a g**...?
They're both made of chickpea.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
A lentil on Trump's bed isn't leverage over the US government.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I didn't pay €50 in Amsterdam to have a lentil on my face.
What do you call a chickpea that plays softball (Warning, very funny)
A lesbean
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Russian chickpea and a Mexican chickpea?
Trump hasn't had a Mexican chickpea on him.
What's the difference between a kidney bean and a chickpea?
Politicians won't pay $500 to have a kidney bean on their face.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
The texture and taste
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's tye difference between a lentil and a chickpea
You can't watch a lentil on pornhub
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I wouldn't let a garbanzo bean on me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just killed a clan of chickpeas
It was a total hummuside
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the f**... for the mashed up chickpea?
It was a posthumous celebration
My wife and I found this GREAT chickpea spread.....
it's so good we wish it could SING. But all it could do was hummus a tune.
