The Best 83 Chickens Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chickens jokes. There are some chickens chick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chickens black people chicken puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chickens Jokes and Puns

Why did Mozart hate chickens?

Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!

Food snobs

"May I take your order? " the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. "

Why do chickens lay eggs?

To confuse philosophers.

Chickens joke, Why do chickens lay eggs?

why don't robot chickens play basketball?

too many technical fowls

The homeless man and the farmer

A homeless man comes up to a farmers house and knocks on the door, when the farmer answers, the homeless man asks "May i spend the night?" to which the farmer replies, "Sure, but you're going to have to sleep in the stable." So the homeless man agrees and sleeps in the stable with all the animals.

In the morning the farmer comes in and asks "How did you sleep?" and the homeless man says "I slept good. And I talked to your animals too." the farmer says, "Really?"

"Yes, I talked to the chickens," he responded, "and they said that you come in every morning at 4am to collect the eggs."

"Wow," the farmer says, "That's right!"

"I also talked to the cows," the homeless man continued, "And they told me every morning at 5am, you milk them"

"That's amazing!" the farmer responds.

"I also talked to the sheep, and they said-"

"THOSE SHEEP ARE LIARS!!!!"


Two rednecks

A redneck sees another carrying a bag, he stops him and says. Hey buddy what do you have in that bag? The other replies chickens, why? The first says, if i guess how many chickens you got in that bag there can i have one? The redneck holding the bag of chickens says, if you guess how many chickens are in this bag ill give you both of them!

Why can't chickens pee?

Their pecker's on the wrong end.

Chickens joke, Why can't chickens pee?

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

Because they kept saying "Bach, bach, bach"

A man reported that his chickens had been stolen off his property

Police suspect fowl play.

What music do chickens listen to?

Bach

From my 3yr old nephew: Why do chickens sit on their eggs?

Because they don't have chairs.

You can explore chickens cluck reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chickens poultry dad jokes. There are also chickens puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs.

Source: my five-year-old.

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.

British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.

When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.

The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."

What type of classical music do chickens like best?

Bach.

Where do all the orphan chickens end up?

Foster Farms

What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

A murder most fowl.

(I'll see myself out...)

Chickens joke, What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

There are thirty cows and twenty eight chickens. How many didn't?

Ten of them.

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces.


Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they were always saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"

I was trying to come up with a name for my group of mystery-solving chickens

Apparently the Clue Clucks Clan was already taken.

Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market

A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?

B: You can have both

A: Three

A farmer asked me for help with his chickens

He said "I have 87 chickens, can you help me round them up?"

I said "Sure... 90."

A sack full of chickens

Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what's in the sack. The first man says, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight." The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack. "Well, I'll tell you," replies the first redneck, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack, I'll give them both to you."

This is My "classic" joke

A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was ,"Bach, Bach, Bach"

KFC is a shelter

for battered chickens

Mozart killed all his chickens..

he had asked them who the best composer was, and they kept saying " Bach! Bach! Bach!

Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

They were yelling "Bach Bach Bach Bach"

What would you call a clan for chickens?

Coo Clucks Clan

I fed my chickens a chicken wing...

I guess you could say they enjoyed themselves. *ba dum tss*

What sound do French chickens make when they lay eggs?

OEUF!

What kind of music do chickens like best?

Bach!

What are our names?

A hen and her chick are having a talk.
"Why do humans have names, but us chickens don't? All we have is chicken, or hen.", asks the chick.
"Well, humans may have names when they are ALIVE, but when they are dead, they are only called ghosts.", Says the hen, "but, we have lots of names when we are dead. Such as chicken curry, fried chicken, roast chicken...."

I'm pretty sure chickens love classical music

All I hear from them is "bach bach bach bach bach"

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

Because they kept running around screaming, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

A blonde was walking down the street carrying a bag..

When another blonde rounds a corner and runs into her.
"My apologies! But what is in the bag, may I ask?"
"Oh, just carrying home some chickens for dinner for me and my husband!"
"If I guess how many chickens are in there, may I have one?"
"Hah ! If you can guess how many chickens I have in my bag, you can have *both* of them!" chuckles the blonde

"Umm.. seven?"

I've just started up a dating site for chickens...

It's not my main job, I'm just doing it to make hens meet...

Joke my physics teacher told us

A farmer has a bunch of chickens who aren't laying eggs. Puzzled, he enlists the help of a physicist to try and work out the problem. The physicist went away and did his calculations, then came back a week later.

'I have a solution to your problem, but...' the physicist said.

'But what?' Said the farmer.

'It only works for circular chickens in a vacuum.'

Two Blondes....

Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"

2nd blonde: "Chickens."

1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"

2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!"

1st blonde: "Well, I think you've got three."

What do you call a person that takes care of chickens?

A Chicken Tender.

Why do easter eggs hide?

Because they're little chickens.

I thought my dating site for chickens would make me a fortune

But I'm struggling to make hens meet

I'm thinking of starting a social media network for chickens

But not as my full-time job. Just as a way to make hens meet.

There was a bad storm that broke the chicken coop causing a farmer to lose a few chickens.

After the storm he asked his farm hand how many chickens were left.

16 chickens, sir.

Alright, round them up, please.

20 chickens, sir.

Its one thing to own a chicken, but two chickens?

... that's two things.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who was greatest composer, they all said "Bach Bach Bach Bach."

A boy who lived in a farm woke up and wanted breakfast (NSFW)

His mother said he had to do his chores first.

So went out and feed the pigs but kicked them as he left.

Then he collected the eggs from the chickens but gave them a kick as he left.

After that he milked the cows but made sure to kick them as well.

When he came back in his mother gave him a dry bowl of ceral.

The boy asked "where's the milk for my ceral and my bacon and eggs?"

His mother replied "you kicked the cows so no milk, you kicked the chickens so no eggs and you kicked the pigs so no bacon".

The boy's father then came down and kicked the cat.

The boys said to his mother "do you want to tell him or shall I?"

I used my stimulus check to buy baby chickens

Money for nothing, and the chicks for free

So, I trained a chicken to talk

WIFE: Well, let's see

ME: What's a male deer?

CHICKEN: Buck

ME: How much is 200 pennies?

CHICKEN: Buck Buck

WIFE: This is stupid. Chickens just make that sound

ME: Oh believe me it gets better

CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan

A farmer used his stimulus check to buy baby chickens.

He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.

A farmer bragged to his friend about his smart chickens

"How do you know they're smart?"

"They love classical music! That's smarty-pants music right there."

"And how do you know that's what they like?"

"Every morning, I say to the chickens 'What music for today?' and they ask for their favorite composer: 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'"

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?









Because when he asked them their favorite composer, they said Bach Bach bach

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because the other chickens weren't wearing masks

Why did Beethoven kill all his chickens?

Because they kept going Bach Bach Bach.

Why did the chicken cross the road? (Courtesy of my 5 year old)

Because chickens are stupid!

Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they ran around saying Bach Bach bach

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"

What is a chickens favorite vegetable?

Bawk choy

What skin conditions do chickens get?

Eggsma.

I just found out that cock-fighting involves chickens

Well that's 12 months of training wasted

On what day of the week do chickens hide?

Fry-day.

People who keep and look after chickens...

...are literally chicken tenders.

Bad dream

A guy went to the doctor complaining about a bad dream.

Doctor : what seems to be the problem?

Guy: I'm having dreams about this chickens playing in a soccer championship, every night.

Doctor: for how long?

Guy: must be a weak or so.

Doctor: okay, we'll solve this problem, just take this pills twice a day for a week, starting now!

Guy: OK Doc thank you but can I start tomorrow cause tonight is the final?

What day do chickens hate most?

Fry-Day !

What kind of sneakers do chickens wear?

Rebokbokboks

Due to the current economic situation in the world, I've started a dating site for chickens.

It's not my full-time job, I'm just doing it...
...to make hens meet.

Two blondes are walking down the street...

...one of them is carrying a large bag.

The first blonde says " whatcha got in the bag?"

The second blonde says " chickens, I've got chickens in my bag. Tell you what, if you guess

how many ive got, I'll give you both of them"

The first blonde thinks for a second and says ..."three!"

Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?

Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, *Bach, Bach, Bach. *

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

Cause when he asked them who their favorite composer was, they all said "Bach, Bach, Bach"

Why do chickens make good dollar store employees?

Whenever you ask them the price they say "Buck buck buck buuuuuuck,"

I don't want to go to school

"Dad, I don't want to go to school

today." said the boy.

"Why not, son?"

\-"Well, one of the chickens on the

school farm died last week and we had

chicken soup for lunch the next day.

Then three days ago one of the pigs

died and we had roast pork the

next day"

"But why don't you want

to go today"

"Because our English

teacher died yesterday!"

What kind of chickens make everyone laugh?

Comedi-Hens

I've started a dating app for chickens.

It's not my main job though, just to makes hens meet.

People who take care of chickens....

... are literally just chicken tenders!

A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens.

They will be ejected from a game if they have more than five personal fowls.

Did you hear about the hate-group whose members are mainly doves and chickens?

It's called the Coo Clucks Clan.

I see eggs are going up again.

That'll surprise a few chickens.

I've lost my job at the farm collecting eggs from chickens.

I've been laid off.

Did you hear about the nonprofit businessman who raised chickens?

He was just interested in re-cooping his costs.

Why do chickens love shopping at Costco?

They prefer to buy things in bawk.

What do you call performance enhancing drugs for chickens?

Pollo-roids

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it wanted to show the other chickens that it had guts. (Courtesy of my daughter)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chickens black chicken jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chickens black fried chicken piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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