Chicken Scratch Jokes
8 chicken scratch jokes and hilarious chicken scratch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chicken scratch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Chicken Scratch Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good chicken scratch joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there's this man with a parrot.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
Math Teacher: Your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you have all the correct answers
Later at Home: I think she's on to us, mathmachicken
Calling my handwriting chicken-scratch is offensive
To chickens
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man wants to buy some meat at his local Deli
A man walks in to Simpsons Deli and asks the butcher, "Do you have any deals going on right now?"
The butcher replies, "Sure we do! You can get 20 Chicken b**... for $40, a full cow for $500, or half the meat for $499!"
The man scratches head in confusion and gets angry at the butcher for having ludicrous pricing, "How come a full cow is $500, and for half the meat it's a dollar less, who would ever do that!"
The butcher replies, "Well it's quite simple, don't halve a cow, man!"
I wanted to make a nice herby chicken dish for dinner but scratched my plans
I didn't have the thyme for it
A teacher was getting fed up with one of her student's bad hand writing-
She said Your hand writing is absolute chicken scratch! I can barely read it. How are you going to get a job if your employer can't read what you write?
He said Don't worry, Miss. I'm going to be a doctor.
Why do people hate chicken scratch?
Because it's fowl language
Did you hear about the chicken that could cook?
It made everything from scratch!
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