The Best 77 Chicken Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Chicken jokes. There are some chicken chick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chicken chicken cross the road puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Chicken Jokes and Puns
What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark?
A chicken.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today
I'll let you know.
Little brother told me this joke, genius.
"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...
..."Cheese sandwich $3.50. Chicken sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5." He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the handjob?"
She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am."
He says, "Well, wash your fuckin' hands. I want a cheese sandwich."
Chicken for Supper
So this kid gets home around 6 and his dad asks "where were you?" The kid replies "at my girlfriends studying." The dad says "ok come sit down supper is ready." After a few minutes the kid says "This is great fish dad." The dad replies "Go wash your hands, it's chicken."
Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors?
Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster
He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he screwed every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."
Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."
The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Why did the chicken get an ouija board?
To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.
I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery...
He thanked me.
You can explore chicken fowl reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chicken cluck dad jokes. There are also chicken puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"
How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto
In a bucket
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
Eight year old tells funniest joke
My eight year old cousin told me this one:
Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?
Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide us...
She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".
Joke provided by my ten year old son.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
I went out dressed as a chicken last night.
and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon....
I want to see which one comes first.
Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market
A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
B: You can have both
A: Three
What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common?
They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
Chicken and an egg
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg.
Apparently the answer is Chicken.
Where was the first chicken fried?
In Greece.
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)
What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?
A chicken
A first grade teacher was trying to teach her students about animals
She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give us?"
Her students paused for a moment and they all shouted "Homework!"
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
The outside
Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's.....
....so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.
Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Just made a chicken salad...
Not even sure if chicken's like salad, but I guess we're about to find out
A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.
The sign reads as follows:
* Nachos $4
* Hamburger $3
* Hotdog $2
* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3
* Grilled Cheese $2
* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50
* Handjob $10
After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."
I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food.
On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes bondage?
Hen-tie
I have a chicken proof lawn…
It's impeccable…
I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered
The chicken
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors, it'd be a Chicken Sedan..
I made a chicken salad this morning
Stupid thing won't even eat it.
A Butcher is Selling Meat and Has One Chicken Left
A butcher is selling meat at his shop and is down to his last chicken.
A woman comes into the store and approaches the butcher. She asks the butcher for a chicken.
The butcher goes into the freezer and pulls out his only remaining chicken. He returns and puts it on the counter.
The woman takes a look at the chicken and asks the butcher if he has any larger chicken.
The butcher takes the chicken and puts it back in the freezer. He waits a minute, pulls the same chicken back out of the freezer, and returns. He puts it in front of the woman and says this is a bigger chicken.
Great! Says the woman, I'll take them both!
A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg.
The answer is the chicken.
A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter says: Nothing special, we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die."
From my 9 year old niece... What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why did the chicken kill herself?
To get to the other side.
I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far.
This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg
A life long question was answered. It was the chicken
My four favorite things
My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.
They say you are what you eat...
today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.
A man recently lost 28 pounds just eating chicken.
It's the only recorded instance of one bird killing two stone.
It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
The head of KFC called the Pope
He said, "I'll give you a million dollars to change the Lord's prayer to give us our daily chicken."
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 10 million.
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 100 million.
The Pope said, "You have a deal!"
The Pope got all the churches big wigs together and said, "I have good news and bad news. Good news is, we are 100 million richer. Bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account.
Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To take a photo in front of a church.
Why did the pig cross the road?
Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
Why did Bill Barr gas protestors?
So the chicken could cross the road
What kind of tree does a chicken grow on?
A poultry.
(came up with that in the shower)
So, I trained a chicken to talk
WIFE: Well, let's see
ME: What's a male deer?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
WIFE: This is stupid. Chickens just make that sound
ME: Oh believe me it gets better
CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan
Turkey cross the road
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
What do you call a Mexican space chicken?
Apollo.
Why doesn't Chick-fil-a have a double chicken sandwich?
2 chicks together isn't really their thing.
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
In high school, I was dared to play gay chicken , which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay and the first one to chicken out loses...
The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he is actually gay.
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his friend the dummy.
M: Knock knock
Y: Who's there
M: Your friend the chicken!
[My 7yo told me this one and caught me off guard...]
My favorite Dad joke, because it's my cake day.
Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.
I grilled a chicken for 2 hours.
It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.
KFC has asked scientists to edit the chicken genome.
They want something CRISPR.
chicken.zip
TL;DR: egg
Farming experiment
A poultry farmer walks into a bar and orders a white wine spritzer. "Hey Bob," the bartender says. "How's your chicken cross-breeding experiment going this week?" "Pretty good," the farmer replies. "I crossed a chicken with a duck. Now I have a chicken that lays down."
I had a dream I turned into a young chicken and had trouble changing back to being a human.
Luckily, I was able to pullet off...
Just got this from my 2 year old:
Chicken pox
Yo Mamma So Stupid
She thought Chicken Stock was KFC's share market
Foul mouthed parrot
An old woman has a pet parrot with a filthy vocabulary. She warns him again and again to clean up his language. He just replies, "S\*!#w You, you old B\*\^$h.
So she grabs him and sticks him in the fridge to teach him a lesson.
As the poor parrot is there in the fridge, getting colder and colder, he spots a chicken, plucked and ready for the oven. He exclaims, "Holy shit! What did you say to her"!
I have some great stock tips..
Always keep the simmer low and slow. Save up the odds and ends from veggies. If you're using chicken, skim the fat/floaty bits off to get a clear liquid etc.
If you keep doing this, you end up a bouillonaire.
I own a chicken that counts her own eggs.
She's a mathamachicken.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chicken henhouse jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chicken three legged chicken piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.