Chicken Jokes
184 chicken jokes and hilarious chicken puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about chicken that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Hey there! Want to hear some hilarious chicken jokes? Well, get ready to crack up! Did you know that chickens are often considered the comedians of the farmyard? It's true! They always seem to be up to some featherbrained antics.
For example, why did the chicken go to the seance? Because it wanted to talk to the other side! Ha! Get it? Chickens being clairvoyant! But here's another gem: Why don't chickens wear watches? Because they already have tiny alarm clucks inside them! Can you imagine chickens telling time by clucking? That would be quite a sight! So, next time you spot a chicken strutting about, remember these jokes to share a good chuckle with your friends. It's sure to brighten up everyone's day!
This is a collection of the best chicken jokes. If you like puns, then you'll love these funny chicken jokes.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Chicken Short Jokes
Short chicken jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chicken humour may include short poultry jokes also.
- They say you are what you eat... today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.
- A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken
- My favorite Dad joke, because it's my cake day. Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan. - What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
- A man goes to a halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.
- Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.
- Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
B: You can have both
A: Three - I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken
- Eight year old tells funniest joke My eight year old cousin told me this one:
Why was beethoven mad at his chicken?
Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach - Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
Share These Chicken Jokes With Friends
Chicken One Liners
Which chicken one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chicken? I can suggest the ones about fowl and rooster.
- What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
- I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today I'll let you know.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of a rotten banana or whatever.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To take a photo in front of a church.
- Why did Bill Barr gas protestors? So the chicken could cross the road
- I used my stimulus check to buy baby chickens Money for nothing, and the chicks for free
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
- How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket
- KFC has asked scientists to edit the chicken genome. They want something CRISPR.
- What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights? A chicken
- Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece.
- I have a chicken proof lawn… It's impeccable…
- I used to run a dating service for chickens... But i was struggling to make hens meet.
- What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.
- Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls
Why Did The Chicken Jokes
Here is a list of funny why did the chicken jokes and even better why did the chicken puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the pig cross the road? Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
- Why did the chicken go to the gym? To build up it's pecs.
(apologies in advance. I made this up). - A chicken saw a duck standing by the side of the road. The chicken called out to the duck: Don't do it pal. You'll never hear the end of it!
- If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for tea you are a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them first at least.
- I asked my wife, Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Without hesitation, she sighed and said, The rooster did. The rooster always comes first.
- Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"
- A farmer asked me for help with his chickens He said "I have 87 chickens, can you help me round them up?"
I said "Sure... 90." - I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far. This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
- I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery... He thanked me.
- Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
Chicken Egg Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken egg jokes and even better chicken egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went to a party dressed as an egg and I hooked up with a guy dressed as a chicken.
I guess we have an answer to that age old question.
It was the chicken. - I came up with this when I was three years old. What do you call an egg that's scared?
A chicken egg. - What came first, the chicken or the egg? The Rooster. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Why do easter eggs hide? Because they're little chickens.
- Ebay is great! I just ordered a chicken and an egg. We shall see what one comes first.
- What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill? Egg rolls.
- I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start.
- From my 3yr old nephew: Why do chickens sit on their eggs? Because they don't have chairs.
- The difference between being Involved vs. Committed Take a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese sandwich. The chicken and the cow are involved, but the pig is committed.
- What sound do French chickens make when they lay eggs? OEUF!
Chicken And Egg Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken and egg jokes and even better chicken and egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I started a three-way with a Chicken and Egg. I'll let you know.
- Eggs and bacon A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime's commitment for a pig.
- What came first, the chicken or the egg? An egg can't come
- "Doctor, my brother is crazy. He thinks he is a chicken." "Well, why don't you commit him to a mental asylum?"
"I would, but I need the eggs." - Why do chickens lay eggs? To confuse philosophers.
- I see eggs are going up again. That'll surprise a few chickens.
- What does an evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs
- Gave a homeless guy a dollar and got this joke... What came first - the chicken, or the egg?
Neither. The rooster always comes first. - A Chicken tried out to be the new spokesperson for Chick-Fil-A Unfortunately, she didn't meat egg-spectations.
(I'm not sorry) - What do you call it when all the hens in the coup resign the same day from their jobs laying eggs? Chicken tenders.
Chicken Road Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken road jokes and even better chicken road puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road? Idk, it's beyond meat.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
- I grilled a chicken for 2 hours. It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.
- Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the accordion player.
- Why did the depressed chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the Other Side
- Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the other chickens weren't wearing masks
- Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was a chicken
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To find people who care about its cake day.
Chicken Nugget Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken nugget jokes and even better chicken nugget puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's..... ....so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.
- Skinny dipping involves a swimming pool. Fat dipping involves a ranch cup and chicken nuggets.
- Why did the chicken not cross the road? It wanted to nugget hit by a car.
- What do you call chicken nugget's served in a pub? Bar-tenders
- Why did the infertile chicken cross the road? She wanted to take adavantage of Burger King's 10 piece special. She now has lil nuggets of her own.
- What do you call a bird with no limbs? A chicken nugget
- What happens when you get a chicken nugget hard? You get a chicken tender.
- I fed chicken nuggets to my chickens. Bad idea. What a waste of food.
- Which part of the chicken does the nugget come from? All of them.
- McDonald's will now be offering 16 piece chicken nuggets now in the Chicago area.
Comical & Quirky Chicken Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about chicken you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby chick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chicken pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Horse and the Chicken
One day the horse and the chicken were walking along the road near the farm, merrily chatting away. Suddenly, the horse fell into a muddy hole and couldn't get out.
"Help help Chicken! I've fallen and I can't get out of this hole!", the Horse yelled. "Don't worry," said the chicken. "I'll just get the farmer's BMW and pull you out!"
The chicken did this, and all was well. The following day, without thinking the chicken fell into the same hole.
"Help help Horse! I've fallen into this hole and I can't get out!"
The horse smiled and said, "Don't worry Chicken. Just grab a hold of my w**...!"
"What?!?"
"Well, when you're hung like a horse, you don't need BMWs to pick up chicks."
Little brother told me this joke, genius.
"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"
Chicken for Supper
So this kid gets home around 6 and his dad asks "where were you?" The kid replies "at my girlfriends studying." The dad says "ok come sit down supper is ready." After a few minutes the kid says "This is great fish dad." The dad replies "Go wash your hands, it's chicken."
The Mathematician and the Waiter
A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -
'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.
'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order of magnitude!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A crusty old biker walls into a bar..
..and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, b**..., beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a s**... little smile.
The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.
He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken
The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.
100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.
Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.
One billion dollars. This is our final offer.
After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.
I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster
He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he s**... every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."
Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."
The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between k**... and perverted?
k**... is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Why did the chicken get an ouija board?
To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.
NASA CHICKEN CANON
NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the s**... bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius s**...?
A: To get to the same side!
Did you hear about the family of racist chicken detectives?
They're called the Clue Clucks Clan
A man walks into a bar ...
And proceeds to order a beer. The bartender says, "Sure, that'll be 25 cents please". The man almost spits out his beer in shock.
"Wow, 25 cents! I'll get some chicken wings too!"
The bartender replies, "That'll be 30 cents!"
"Where is the owner", asks the man, "I want to shake his hand!"
"Upstairs with my sister", replies the barkeep.
"Huh, why?", asks the confused costumer.
"He's doing to her, what I'm doing to his bar."
Chinese Food is amazing
but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the s**... persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
Why don't chickens wear underwear?
Because their peckers are on their faces.
My 8 year old son wrote this...
What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?
A poultry-geist.
Chicken and an egg
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This is My "classic" joke
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh g**..., no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."
A farmer once successfully bred a three-legged chicken...
and bragged about it to his neighbors on how fast it was. A billionaire was passing by and took a liking to it. So he made a million dollar offer to the farmer for the chicken. Surprisingly, the farmer declined.
'Then, I'll give you five million for it,' said the billionaire.
'Sorry, I can't,' said the farmer.
'10 million dollars, I don't believe you'll turn down the offer'
'I'm truly sorry. I can't.'
The billionaire was stumped and asked, 'Is 10 million not enough?'
The farmer only sighed and reply, 'It's not that I don't want to sell it, that darned chicken is literally too fast for me to catch it.'
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)
Why do black people eat fried chicken?
Because it tastes good.
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
The outside
Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Just made a chicken salad...
Not even sure if chicken's like salad, but I guess we're about to find out
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
A man was in a psych ward for thinking he was a piece of corn.
He was finally cured and set free, but immediatelly came back to the mental hospital trembling in fear. When asked why, he said, "there's a chicken outside."
Doctor: "but sir, you do know you're human right? Not a piece of corn."
Patient: "of course I know that! But does the chicken know?!"
I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food.
On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes b**...?
Hen-tie
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors, it'd be a Chicken Sedan..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I made a chicken salad this morning
s**... thing won't even eat it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A biker walks into a bar...
...and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, b**..., beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a s**... little smile. The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
A Butcher is Selling Meat and Has One Chicken Left
A butcher is selling meat at his shop and is down to his last chicken.
A woman comes into the store and approaches the butcher. She asks the butcher for a chicken.
The butcher goes into the freezer and pulls out his only remaining chicken. He returns and puts it on the counter.
The woman takes a look at the chicken and asks the butcher if he has any larger chicken.
The butcher takes the chicken and puts it back in the freezer. He waits a minute, pulls the same chicken back out of the freezer, and returns. He puts it in front of the woman and says this is a bigger chicken.
Great! Says the woman, I'll take them both!
The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
What do you call a person that takes care of chickens?
A Chicken Tender.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter says: Nothing special, we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die."
From my 9 year old niece... What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Priest, Rabbi and Atheist walk into a bar and each ask for a drink
The bartender, saying nothing and looking disdained, points to a sign clearly labelled: **NO JOKES SERVED HERE**
Without a fight the Priest, Rabbi and Atheist leave the bar, heads hanging.
The next day a chicken walks in and plops down on the barstool.
Wiping the inside of a glass, the bartender approached and asks the chicken Are you part of this joke?
Yeah. the chicken replies.
Again, he points to the sign: **NO JOKES SERVED HERE**
The chicks argues Well then how's a chicken supposed to get his beak wet?
The bartender pointed out the window and said There's another bar across the road.
There was a bad storm that broke the chicken coop causing a farmer to lose a few chickens.
After the storm he asked his farm hand how many chickens were left.
16 chickens, sir.
Alright, round them up, please.
20 chickens, sir.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My four favorite things
My four favorite things are chicken p**... pie and omitting commas.
A man recently lost 28 pounds just eating chicken.
It's the only recorded instance of one bird killing two stone.
It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
The head of KFC called the Pope
He said, "I'll give you a million dollars to change the Lord's prayer to give us our daily chicken."
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 10 million.
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 100 million.
The Pope said, "You have a deal!"
The Pope got all the churches big wigs together and said, "I have good news and bad news. Good news is, we are 100 million richer. Bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account.
A man is in a mental hospital because he believes himself to be a seed.
He is treated for years by one of the world's best psychiatrists. After 6 years, he finally becomes convinced that he is not, in fact, a seed. There is a party to celebrate his release from the hospital.
A chicken shows up to the party. The man freezes and slowly starts to inch behind a nearby tree. His psychiatrist notices and sighs: "I thought you were over this. You are not a seed, remember?"
The man replies: "look, you know that I am not a seed. I know that I am not a seed. But does the chicken know?"
During this pandemic I'm buying lots of stocks.
Beef stock, chicken stock, fish stock. Soon I'm going to be a bouillon-ere!
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches...
Turns out it doesn't, it just make a lot of noise and poops on the floor.
ME: I trained this chicken to talk.
HER: Let's hear then.
ME: What's a male deer called?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
HER: This is dumb.
CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.
What kind of tree does a chicken grow on?
A poultry.
(came up with that in the shower)
What do you call a chicken haunting your home?
A Poultrygeist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't Chick-fil-a have a double chicken sandwich?
2 chicks together isn't really their thing.
