Chicken Jokes
Following is our collection of fowl puns and chick one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Chicken jokes for adults, dirty cluck jokes and clean chicken cross the road dad gags for kids.
The Best Chicken Puns
What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark?
A chicken.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today
I'll let you know.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To take a photo in front of a church.
They say you are what you eat...
today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.
Why did Bill Barr gas protestors?
So the chicken could cross the road
A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common?
They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"
How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto
In a bucket
A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg.
The answer is the chicken.
Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.
Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market
A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
B: You can have both
A: Three
What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?
A chicken
I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered
The chicken
A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg.
Apparently the answer is Chicken.
Eight year old tells funniest joke
My eight year old cousin told me this one:
Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?
Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors?
Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the pig cross the road?
Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes bondage?
Hen-tie
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg
A life long question was answered. It was the chicken
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
Where was the first chicken fried?
In Greece.
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)
I made a chicken salad this morning
Stupid thing won't even eat it.
My four favorite things
My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.
Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
I have a chicken proof lawn…
It's impeccable…
I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far.
This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery...
He thanked me.
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
What do you call a Mexican space chicken?
Apollo.
A man recently lost 28 pounds just eating chicken.
It's the only recorded instance of one bird killing two stone.
In high school, I was dared to play gay chicken , which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay and the first one to chicken out loses...
The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he is actually gay.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
I went out dressed as a chicken last night.
and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...
..."Cheese sandwich $3.50. Chicken sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5." He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the handjob?"
She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am."
He says, "Well, wash your fuckin' hands. I want a cheese sandwich."
A Butcher is Selling Meat and Has One Chicken Left
A butcher is selling meat at his shop and is down to his last chicken.
A woman comes into the store and approaches the butcher. She asks the butcher for a chicken.
The butcher goes into the freezer and pulls out his only remaining chicken. He returns and puts it on the counter.
The woman takes a look at the chicken and asks the butcher if he has any larger chicken.
The butcher takes the chicken and puts it back in the freezer. He waits a minute, pulls the same chicken back out of the freezer, and returns. He puts it in front of the woman and says this is a bigger chicken.
Great! Says the woman, I'll take them both!
Chicken for Supper
So this kid gets home around 6 and his dad asks "where were you?" The kid replies "at my girlfriends studying." The dad says "ok come sit down supper is ready." After a few minutes the kid says "This is great fish dad." The dad replies "Go wash your hands, it's chicken."
Chicken and an egg
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors, it'd be a Chicken Sedan..
Why did the chicken get an ouija board?
To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.
A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter says: Nothing special, we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die."
Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."
The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."
A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.
The sign reads as follows:
* Nachos $4
* Hamburger $3
* Hotdog $2
* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3
* Grilled Cheese $2
* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50
* Handjob $10
After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."
A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster
He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he screwed every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
Why doesn't Chick-fil-a have a double chicken sandwich?
2 chicks together isn't really their thing.
A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide us...
She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".
Joke provided by my ten year old son.
I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food.
On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
Why did the chicken kill herself?
To get to the other side.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon....
I want to see which one comes first.
The head of KFC called the Pope
He said, "I'll give you a million dollars to change the Lord's prayer to give us our daily chicken."
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 10 million.
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 100 million.
The Pope said, "You have a deal!"
The Pope got all the churches big wigs together and said, "I have good news and bad news. Good news is, we are 100 million richer. Bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account.
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
The outside
Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's.....
....so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.
A first grade teacher was trying to teach her students about animals
She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give us?"
Her students paused for a moment and they all shouted "Homework!"
What kind of tree does a chicken grow on?
A poultry.
(came up with that in the shower)
Turkey cross the road
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
From my 9 year old niece... What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Just made a chicken salad...
Not even sure if chicken's like salad, but I guess we're about to find out
Little brother told me this joke, genius.
"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"
So, I trained a chicken to talk
WIFE: Well, let's see
ME: What's a male deer?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
WIFE: This is stupid. Chickens just make that sound
ME: Oh believe me it gets better
CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan
A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
During this pandemic I'm buying lots of stocks.
Beef stock, chicken stock, fish stock. Soon I'm going to be a bouillon-ere!
Why did Mozart kill his chicken?
Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
The Mathematician and the Waiter
A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -
'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.
'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order of magnitude!'
There is an abundance of henhouse jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 69 funniest jokes and chicken puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any three legged chicken witze you can hear about chicken.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.