Following is our collection of funniest Chicken jokes. There are some chicken chick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chicken chicken cross the road puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
A chicken.
I'll let you know.
"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"
..."Cheese sandwich $3.50. Chicken sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5." He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the handjob?"
She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am."
He says, "Well, wash your fuckin' hands. I want a cheese sandwich."
So this kid gets home around 6 and his dad asks "where were you?" The kid replies "at my girlfriends studying." The dad says "ok come sit down supper is ready." After a few minutes the kid says "This is great fish dad." The dad replies "Go wash your hands, it's chicken."
A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -
'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.
'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order of magnitude!'
Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he screwed every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."
The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.
You can explore chicken fowl reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chicken cluck dad jokes. There are also chicken puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
He thanked me.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"
In a bucket
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
My eight year old cousin told me this one:
Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?
Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".
Joke provided by my ten year old son.
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
I want to see which one comes first.
A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
B: You can have both
A: Three
They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
Apparently the answer is Chicken.
In Greece.
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)
A chicken
She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give us?"
Her students paused for a moment and they all shouted "Homework!"
The outside
....so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Not even sure if chicken's like salad, but I guess we're about to find out
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
The sign reads as follows:
* Nachos $4
* Hamburger $3
* Hotdog $2
* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3
* Grilled Cheese $2
* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50
* Handjob $10
After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."
On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
Hen-tie
It's impeccableβ¦
The chicken
Because if it had 4 doors, it'd be a Chicken Sedan..
Stupid thing won't even eat it.
A butcher is selling meat at his shop and is down to his last chicken.
A woman comes into the store and approaches the butcher. She asks the butcher for a chicken.
The butcher goes into the freezer and pulls out his only remaining chicken. He returns and puts it on the counter.
The woman takes a look at the chicken and asks the butcher if he has any larger chicken.
The butcher takes the chicken and puts it back in the freezer. He waits a minute, pulls the same chicken back out of the freezer, and returns. He puts it in front of the woman and says this is a bigger chicken.
Great! Says the woman, I'll take them both!
The answer is the chicken.
The waiter says: Nothing special, we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die."
Chicken sees a salad.
To get to the other side.
This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
A life long question was answered. It was the chicken
My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.
today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.
It's the only recorded instance of one bird killing two stone.
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
He said, "I'll give you a million dollars to change the Lord's prayer to give us our daily chicken."
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 10 million.
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 100 million.
The Pope said, "You have a deal!"
The Pope got all the churches big wigs together and said, "I have good news and bad news. Good news is, we are 100 million richer. Bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account.
Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.
Beef stock, chicken stock, fish stock. Soon I'm going to be a bouillon-ere!
To take a photo in front of a church.
Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
So the chicken could cross the road
A poultry.
(came up with that in the shower)
WIFE: Well, let's see
ME: What's a male deer?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
WIFE: This is stupid. Chickens just make that sound
ME: Oh believe me it gets better
CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Apollo.
2 chicks together isn't really their thing.
Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he is actually gay.
... truly poultry in motion.
Soup d'etat.
Ex-Bawks
When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day."
Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."
When the President came by the henhouse, the guide dutifully told him what his wife had said.
"Same hen every time?" the President asked.
"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time."
The President nodded his head. "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
Me- "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Dad- "Why"
Me- "To get to the idiots house BAHAHA"
Dad- "That's stupid"
Me- "Fine this one is better, Knock Knock"
Dad- "Who's there"
Me- "The chicken :)"
They tell bok bok jokes.
Q: What is the diffrence between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is using a feather .....kinky is using the whole chicken
Chicken pox.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chicken henhouse jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chicken three legged chicken piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.