Chicken Egg Jokes

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

If you're a chicken and I'm an egg...

let's see which one of us comes first.

This one's incredibly old, but it's still as funny to me today as it was 500 years ago

So a man goes to a psychiatrist and tell the man, "Sir, my brother thinks he's a chicken." So the psychiatrist replies, "Well then, why don't you bring him in?" Then the man tells him, "Well, sir, I would, but we need the eggs."

A pig and a chicken want to open a new restaurant...

The pig asks what they would name it. The Chicken says, "why not eggs and ham?" The pig said no because that would require full commitment from him and left.

Why can't vegans eat chicken?

Because there's eggs in them.

A Chicken and an Egg are sitting in bed. The Egg looks depressed; the Chicken satisfied.

Not much of a joke, but it solves which came first.

When do chickens stop laying eggs?

Henopause

I heard we're doing egg and chicken jokes

An egg and a chicken are in bed getting it on when the egg rolls over and lights a cigarette. The chicken replies "I guess that settles it."

My go-to joke: Chicken walks into a bar...

A chicken walks into a bar, meets an egg. They go home together and the sleep together, and when they're done the chicken rolls over in bed, lights a cigarette, takes a drag, and says, "Well, I guess that answers *that* question."

It's Easter Sunday morning...

... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg.

I thought: 'This could be interesting'.

The chicken's egg never hatched...

It was a bad yoke.

BIRDMAN

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "We need the eggs."

I work in the meat department and a customer asks me what is the difference between the Halal chicken and the regular chicken.

I said "Regular chicken lays eggs. Halal chicken lays hand grenades."

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Which One Comes First

I just Ordered A Chicken and an Egg off the internet, to see which one comes first........
I'll keep you posted.

Why did the chicken bury its egg underground?

He wanted to grow an eggplant
Joke from my dad.

I once found an egg with two chickens in it

That was my best yolk.

How do chickens get strong?

They egg-cersize.

Which do you want me to bring in first?

Yesterday my parents are preparing dinner and my mom wanted me to get the chicken. When she opens the fridge and notices the egg carton is empty, she ask me to get the eggs as well. So then I asked her...
"Which one do you want me to bring in first, the chicken or the egg?"

I went to the store to pick up a new capacitor for my broken microwave.

The sales rep. accidentally sold me a flux capacitor instead; and now my microwave turns my chicken sandwiches into egg sandwiches.

I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito...

Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child.

I wanted to practice breaking eggs in a perfect way

But they chickened out

Chicken and an egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

How many chicken eggs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Literally dozens.

A man walks into a diner for breakfast...

He asks to look at the special. The waitress tells him the special is chicken tongue. Horrified, the man says "I would never eat something that came out of a chicken's mouth!"
"Fine," says the waitress, "What'll you have?"
The man replies, "Two scrambled eggs please."

Stop chicken mass production...

You're making them eggs-hausted!

My sister thinks she's a chicken...

We've thought about taking her to a psychiatrist, but we'd miss the fresh eggs.

God allows animals to ask him one question...

The giraffe: God why do I have this long neck?
God: to be able to get the finest leaves.
The rihno: why is my skin so heavy and thick?
God: because your skin is your armor and its role is to protect you from your enemies.
The chicken: I don't care, so please don't even try explain! You make the hole bigger or the egg smaller.

I'm writing a southern rock song about chicken eggs...

...it's called "Prebird"

Which came first the Chicken or the Egg?

The Chicken, of course, Eggs haven't developed enough for that!

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"
"Two years," says the man.
"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the doctor.
The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."

The Easter massacre

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock

Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs?

He doesn't want anyone to know he's been messing around with a chicken.
(It's the only Easter joke that I know)

Don't ruin your meal by combining eggs and chicken.

It's impossible to know which to eat first.

I planted over a dozen eggs but no chickens grew.

What gives?

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.

On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"

Forget Chicken or Egg

Time to think Civil or Nuclear

Who Came First

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on it's face.
The egg, looking very hacked off, grabs the quilt, rolls over and says, "Well, we finally answered THAT question!"

Why do we consider chickens as friendly animals?

Because they lay their eggs instead of throwing them.

What did the chicken say to the egg as it was crossing the street?

After you.

I met a girl at a chicken & egg fancy dress party last week..

We're still debating as to who came first.

My friend is a magician and he said he could make a chicken hatch back into an egg

But first he would need to add a rear door to the chicken coupe

Why does a chicken lay eggs?

Because if she dropped them, they'd break

The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."

"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."

How do you make your eggs?

Chicken: I'm not really sure, they just kind of pop out.

Who came first, the chicken or the egg?

Who cares, as long as they both enjoyed themselves. That's all that matters. It's not a competition. Geez.

Joke my physics teacher told us

A farmer has a bunch of chickens who aren't laying eggs. Puzzled, he enlists the help of a physicist to try and work out the problem. The physicist went away and did his calculations, then came back a week later.
'I have a solution to your problem, but...' the physicist said.
'But what?' Said the farmer.
'It only works for circular chickens in a vacuum.'

What are eggs?

Chickens in a nutshell.

In the beginning God said let there be...

The chicken and the egg but I won't tell you which one I made first.

I wonder

I wonder if I have ever eaten an egg laid by a chicken I have also eaten.

Ask you and me where eggs come from, we say the chicken. Ask a kid the same question...

They say the fridge.

When is was a kid, mum used to send me the shops wtih 50p. i could come home with a chicken, 2 pints of milk, 6 eggs, 2 packs of bacon and a comic book...

You can't do this nowadays though because of CCTV.