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Chicken And Hen Jokes

84 chicken and hen jokes and hilarious chicken and hen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chicken and hen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Chicken And Hen Short Jokes

Short chicken and hen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chicken and hen humour may include short rooster and hen jokes also.

  1. Due to the current economic situation in the world, I've started a dating site for chickens. It's not my full-time job, I'm just doing it...
    ...to make hens meet.
  2. I've started a dating app for chickens. It's not my main job though, just to makes hens meet.
  3. I've just started up a dating site for chickens... It's not my main job, I'm just doing it to make hens meet...
  4. Started a chicken dating website. It's not my full time job, just doing it to make hens meet.
  5. I thought my dating site for chickens would make me a fortune But I'm struggling to make hens meet
  6. I'm thinking of starting a social media network for chickens But not as my full-time job. Just as a way to make hens meet.
  7. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, it was the selfish Rooster that came first and the Hen never even finished.
  8. What do you call it when all the hens in the coup resign the same day from their jobs laying eggs? chicken tenders.
  9. I developed a successful chicken social network app to make more money. I didn't do it for the glory I did it to make hens meet.
  10. Why did the chicken tell jokes in bars? Because she thought she was a stand up comedi-hen.
    Sorry.

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Chicken And Hen One Liners

Which chicken and hen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chicken and hen? I can suggest the ones about chicken and hens.

  1. I used to run a dating service for chickens... But i was struggling to make hens meet.
  2. my mum just started a dating site for chickens She'd do anything to make hens meet
  3. What do you call a hen staring at a bowl of shredded lettuce? Chicken sees a salad
  4. I used to run a dating company for chickens But I couldn't make hens meet.
  5. What kind of chickens make everyone laugh? Comedi-Hens
  6. What do you call someone who looks after hens? A chicken tender.
  7. What happens when you feed a hen too many carrots? You get orange chicken!
  8. What do you call a hen that can count her own eggs? A Math-Ma-Chicken
  9. How did the rooster meet the hen? Chicken tinder....
  10. What do you call an adult female chicken that likes to draft blueprints? A Hen-gineer
  11. A hen laid eyes on some pieces of lettuce. The chicken caesar salad.
  12. A hen walks into Subway The sandwich artist says, "Sorry, we don't serve chicken."
  13. how did the chicken take over the hen house? in a coop d'etat
  14. What do you call a chicken with political ambition? Republic-hen
  15. What do you call an acclaimed guitarist who raises chickens? A Hen-drix

Chicken And Hen Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about chicken and hen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chicken egg jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chicken and hen pranks.

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.


The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
"What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating." 
"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman.
"What a coincidence!" said the farmer. 
As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!"
"What a coincidence!" said the man. 
"I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I used a different ****," he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"

I went for a walk through Memory Lane today.

I found some boxes in my closet. In it were old family relics. My great-great grandfather's World War One helmet was the first thing I saw. There was also my grandmother's surgical gear when she was a nurse in the local hospital, and countless heirlooms I can't possibly list all of which.
Then, I got to the one that sparked the most memories: My grandfather's collecting hobby.
Every day since January 1st, 1949, he collected ties with funny designs and wore them to work. Some had cats, or snakes or airplanes. He had close to 100 by the time he died several years ago. I remember as a kid how much I loved them, he had stories of what happened to him while.he wore those ties. He had an awesome memory and was good at telling stories.
When he passed, he left them to me. I couldn't keep all 100, and I also gave some to my cousins, but I decided to keep the ties that were his absolute favorites: his chicken pattern ties.
One day, he wore his first chicken tie when he met my grandmother. From then, he collected more chicken ties to remind him of her. I wear them every now and again, as well.
Thanks for reading this. I like to talk about them, but all my friends act weird when I tell them about my granddad's Hen Tie collection.

The Coolidge effect

The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown (separately) around an experimental government farm. When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day." Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by." Upon being told, President asked, "Same hen every time?" The reply was, "Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time." President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

Smart old rooster.

A chicken farmer brings home a new rooster for his hen house. The old rooster ask him for a favor. He says look im old and wore out but if you don't mind could you chase me around the coupe so it looks like I at least put up a fight for the chicken's. The young rooster agrees to do so and commits to chase the old rooster around the coupe. The farmer is sitting on his porch with a friend when he sees the new rooster chasing the old one around. So he grabs his gun and shoots the new rooster dead. The farmers friend asked why he shoot his new bird. The farmer replied thats the third gay rooster I bought this year.

Old McDonald's prized hen asked another chicken to lay on her egg for a while

But it cracked under the pressure

A boy asks his father what a female chicken is called.

His dad answers "A hen, son."
"And a male chicken?" asks the boy. "They're called a rooster."
"How about a baby chicken?" to which his dad answers "A chick."
"So dad, what's a chicken?"

What do call a very nervous hen?

chicken

Soul's Dad built him a hen house on his birthday

He calls it "Chicken Coop for the Soul"

What do you call a female chicken that goes "c**...-a-doodle-doo"?

A lesbi-hen

It's Easter Sunday morning...

... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.

Chicken must be brilliant at mathematics..

Because after explaining every proof, my teachers say "Hens proved!!"

Why couldn't he make chicken?

Because he's not a hen

What did the hen say to the hotel desk clerk?

"I'd like to chick-en"

what do you call a funny chicken?

a comedi-hen

Q. What are 2 girl chickens that fall in love?

A. Lesbi-hens

A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..

The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different c**...,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

What would the name be of a magician duo containing a chicken and a deaf woman?

Hen and Keller.

What do you call an ISIS chicken?

...a hen grenade.

What are our names?

A hen and her chick are having a talk.
"Why do humans have names, but us chickens don't? All we have is chicken, or hen.", asks the chick.
"Well, humans may have names when they are ALIVE, but when they are dead, they are only called ghosts.", Says the hen, "but, we have lots of names when we are dead. Such as chicken curry, fried chicken, roast chicken...."

What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes b**...?

Hen-tie

What do you call a Perverted chicken?

A Hen-tai

What do you call a tie made for chickens?

A hen tie.

I started a chicken dating site to make some much needed money

I was just trying to make hens meet.

A couple of hens were discussing the days events...

... One of the hens is flustered and worried, so she tells the other hen, "I think one of us is gonna get it! I heard Farmer Brown tell Neighbour Jones that he was gonna stay home and choke the chicken tonight!"

Friend told me about a song taking place in soviet Russia. Chicken farmer with outstanding yield had to give up his chickens due to collective farming law...

Can't keep my hens to myself

What do you call it when a hen raises pigs?

She's a chicken with a bacon ranch

Did you hear about the poor chicken farmer?

He's really trying to make hens meat.

Before I moved to the US, I used to prefer chicken to beef.

But that was hen and this is cow.

One day mother hen laid an orange.

When they saw it all the other chickens said, "Look what marmalade."

Everyone always asks when the chicken came...

But no one asks about the hen

What do you call a stylish chicken?

A CHIC-hen

A hen is having a talk with its chick

Chick: Why do humans get names but we don't? We are only called hens, or chickens or roosters.
Hen: Well, WE might not get names but when we die, we have many names. Humans on the other hand, are only called zombies or ghosts.
Chick: What are we called when we die then?
Hen: Names such as, curry chicken, roast chicken, fried chicken..

Tough business

I started a business breeding chickens, but I'm struggling to make hens meet.

What do you call a headless hen?

Chicken.

What do you call the binding of female chickens?

Hen-tai

What do you call a bow covered in chickens?

A hen tie

At my local battery farm, they were selling cheap robot chickens for $10 each.

I thought "What a borg-hen"

What time does the chicken farmer go and collect the eggs?

About half past hen

I once had a hen that could count her own eggs... (BPI)

She was a **mathema-chicken.**

\- Brought to you by the Bad Puns Initiative (BPI)

I saw someone eating noodles with some chicken on it.

It was the best hen thai I've ever seen.

President Calvin Coolidge and his wife were being shown separately around an experimental farm

When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day."
Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."
When the President came by the henhouse, the guide dutifully told him what his wife had said.
"Same hen every time?" the President asked.
"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time."
The President nodded his head. "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

Dad jokes

What do you call a hen staring at a head of lettuce?
A Chicken-sees-a-salad......

cheekens

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So, what have you been up to lately?" the bartender asks him. "Well, I recently set up a dating website for chickens," the guy tells him. "I mean, its not my main job ... I'm just doing it to make hens meet."

No one expects it!

A guy was traveling in the Spanish countryside, and after driving all day he stopped for the night at a tiny inn. The innkeeper, upon giving him his key, asked him if he would like to participate in a battle of wits with his special chicken. "If you stump him, you get a wish, any wish you like!" he explains. The man agrees to it, and he's led into the bar, whereupon sits a healthy sized hen. He proceeds to have a battle of wits, and is roundly defeated by the hen. "I didn't expect the chicken to be so smart!" says the man. "No," says the innkeeper, "no one expects the Spanish inn quiz wish hen!"