Chick Jokes

What are some Chick jokes?

I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open

She said "it's my husband!. Quick, try the backdoor!"

Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that every day.

I've been dating this homeless chick for a while now and it's starting to get serious.

She asked me to move out with her.

What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?

You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.

What do you call a hot chick in Boston?

A tourist

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.

How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto

In a bucket

Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.

Today I was offered sex by an 18 year old female...

Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents

Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors?

Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

Must be one-of-a-kind...

Years ago, my older friend told me a joke that I have never heard from anyone else to this day. The joke itself is brilliantly stupid.

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?"

"It's going to take a moment for me to get hard; I just got laid by some chick."

I went to a bar last night

and I saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said "Wow, great legs."

She giggled and said "Really?"

I said "Yea, most tables would've collapsed by now."

Where was the first chicken fried?

In Greece.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a hot chick from across a bar.

She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"

I have a chicken proof lawn…

It's impeccable…

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Some chick got her nipple pierced at the bar last night.

I'm not very good at darts.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls

Special Hand Job

Getting a hand job from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...

You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...

Been chatting and flirting with this 14 year old chick

Now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How freakin' cool is that for someone her age.

Chicken for Supper

So this kid gets home around 6 and his dad asks "where were you?" The kid replies "at my girlfriends studying." The dad says "ok come sit down supper is ready." After a few minutes the kid says "This is great fish dad." The dad replies "Go wash your hands, it's chicken."

Chicken and an egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors, it'd be a Chicken Sedan..

Why did the chicken get an ouija board?

To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.

Since Eve was created from Adam's ribs...

That technically makes her Adam's side chick.

I was seeing this HOT chick about twice a week.

But last week she saw me and closes her blinds now.

I hopped in a cab after work and said to the cabbie

"My wife won't put out any more. Take me somewhere I can get an easy chick that won't say no"

10 minutes later he dropped me off at my house and said

"Just tell her Larry sent you"

Why did the chicken kill herself?

To get to the other side.

This chick came up to me and claimed she recognized me from a vegan meeting

but I'd never met herbivore

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

A drunk chick at the club offered me a blow job, but I turned her down. She looked too much like my sister.

And my sister is terrible at blow jobs.

I saw a millennial chick at the supermarket and thought she looked odd.

Then I realised she can't even.

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

Nobody pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face.

Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? (dirty)

The Rooster. ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

Do you know why a chicken coup only has two doors?

If it had four it would be a chicken sedan

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

If they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans.

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed...

When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Chicken and an egg are sitting in bed...

Egg says in a angry huff "I guess we answered THAT question!"

Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces.

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "caution, I'm a maneater".

I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."

I looked at her, confused and said; "That's actually not what I was going to say at all."

"Oh.." she replied as a smile started to come across her face. "What were you going to say?"

"That's not how you spell manatee."

So a chicken and an egg are lying in bed together.

The chicken slowly puffs on a cigarette as he radiates satisfaction. The frustrated egg turns to him and barks, "Well I guess that answers that question."

Why did the chicken hang himself?

To get to the other side.

Why did the Chicken go to KFC?

To see a chicken strip.

That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant...

...and you realize you have to tell your wife.

A chicken walks up to a duck that's considering crossing the road.

Don't do it, pal, the chicken says, you'll never hear the end of it.

A man goes up to a fat chick in a bar...

and says "i'd give you one", she slaps him and says "how dare you?!? Just because I'm fat doesn't mean you can just say you would screw me!" He retorts "screw you?!? I was scoring you out of ten".

I got on the bus and sat down next to this really sexy Thai chick.

All I could think to myself was "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection." And then she did.

Wanna know how easy it is to sleep with a fat chick?

Piece of cake

A chicken walks in a bar and orders a drink

The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food."

A chicken walks in to a bar...

A chicken walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "What'll be, chicken?"
The chicken says, "I'd like a nice pale ale with some type of a fruit flavor."
The bartender says, "You want the bar across the road."

"I banged the hottest chick of my class and now the whole town is talking about it."

~ Walter, 52, primary school teacher

How do you know if a chick used a vibrator while she was pregnant?

The kid stutters

A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette.

The egg says to herself, "I guess we answered that question."

This vegan chick came up to me and started talking like she knew me...

...but I never met herbivore.ο»Ώ

Thought of this whilst snacking.

If one chick pea kills another chick pea... Is that considered Humuscide?

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?

Because his family had stock in the company.

Why did the chicken cross the MΓΆbius strip?

To get to the same side.

Chicken Pot Pie.

My three favorite things.

Why did the chicken skip a track on his Red Hot Chili Peppers CD?

To get to the Otherside.

The chicken farm

A farmer goes into a farm supply store and orders two hundred chicks, explaining to the owner that he wants to start a chicken farm. Two weeks later, he returns to the store and buys another two hundred chicks. The owner is curious, but doesn't say anything. The same thing happens when the farmer returns in another two weeks for another two hundred chicks.

When he returns for the fourth time, the owner's curiousity is too much for him, so he asks the farmer why he keeps coming back for so many chicks.

The farmer says, "Well, I guess I must be doing something wrong, but I don't know what. I think I'm either planting them too deep or too close together."

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs €2.00 A chicken pie in Trinidad costs €2.15 A chicken pie in St Kitts costs €2.40

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Lucky I didn't get caught...

I was nailing this chick in the park the other weekend. And I was so lucky not to get caught.

Supposedly crucifixions are illegal these days

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other... Slide.

Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs.

Source: my five-year-old.

How to make Chick jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Chick to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Chick? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Chick pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes