The Best 11 Chicago Bear Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chicago Bear jokes. There are some chicago bear brown bear jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chicago bear winnipeg puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chicago Bear Jokes and Puns

Mama and Papa Bear are getting divorced...

and the Judge is asking Baby Bear who he wishes to live with. "So, is it Mama or Papa?" the Judge asks.
"Mama and Papa beat me," says Baby Bear.
"Well do you have any other relatives?" asked the Judge.
"I have an uncle in Chicago," replies Baby Bear.
"Does he beat you too?" asks the Judge.
"Naww," says Baby Bear. "The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."

So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

The city of Chicago is no longer giving speeding tickets...

Instead, to deter speeders, the are giving away Bears tickets.

Custody trial

Momma bear and papa bear are in court finalizing their divorce and custody of junior bear. The judge asks junior bear who he wants to live with?

J: "do you want to live with momma bear? "

JB: "no, she beats me."

J: "do you want to stay with papa bear?"

JB: "no, he beats me too."

J: "then who will you live with?"

JB: "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody!"

Mama Bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce

Mama bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce. The judge asks baby bear what parent he wants to live with.

Judge: Ok baby bear, do you want to live with your Mama?

Baby Bear: No, she beats me.

Judge: Ok how about your Papa?

Baby Bear: No he beats me even more...

Judge: Then who do you want to live with?

Baby Bear: I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They don't beat anyone!


Breaking News: Struggling Chicago Bears Fire John Fox

One can dream. ^(AND CRY)

Rumor has it that distraught Chicago Bear's field goal kicker Cody Parker tried to end his life recently.

The bullet went wide right.

What do you call a bear that can't win?

A Chicago Bear

What internet browser do the Chicago Bears use?

Firefox.

A friend told me that the biggest furry convention was in Chicago, Illinois

I had an epiphany and said maybe THAT'S why they're called the Chicago Bears

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.



The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?"

The baby bear replied, "No he beats me."

The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear!

The baby bear said, "No she beats me too."

The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"

The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"

You can explore chicago bear grizzlies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chicago bear kodiak bear dad jokes. There are also chicago bear puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chicago bear hunting trip jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chicago bear grizzly polar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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