chic Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious chic puns

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.

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How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto

In a bucket

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Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.

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Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors?

Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

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Where was the first chicken fried?

In Greece.

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What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common?

They both shred footage.



(*be gentle, it's my first time.*)

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I have a chicken proof lawn…

It's impeccable…

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A chicken walks up to a duck stood at the side of the road & says

"Don't do it mate. You'll never hear the fucking end of it".

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Some chick got her nipple pierced at the bar last night.

I'm not very good at darts.

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Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls

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Chicken for Supper

So this kid gets home around 6 and his dad asks "where were you?" The kid replies "at my girlfriends studying." The dad says "ok come sit down supper is ready." After a few minutes the kid says "This is great fish dad." The dad replies "Go wash your hands, it's chicken."

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Chicken and an egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors, it'd be a Chicken Sedan..

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Why did the chicken get an ouija board?

To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.

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Why did the chicken kill herself?

To get to the other side.

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Ok Chicago, please be responsible. If the game doesn't go your way tonight...

At least act like you've been there before.

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This chick came up to me and claimed she recognized me from a vegan meeting

but I'd never met herbivore

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Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? (dirty)

The Rooster. ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

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Do you know why a chicken coup only has two doors?

If it had four it would be a chicken sedan

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Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

If they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans.

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A chicken and an egg are laying in bed...

When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."

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Chicken and an egg are sitting in bed...

Egg says in a angry huff "I guess we answered THAT question!"

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Ed the Chicken

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ed.


'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg β€” his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard…..

Ed, wake up! You've shit in the bed!

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Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces.

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Why did the chicken fall into the well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

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So a chicken and an egg are lying in bed together.

The chicken slowly puffs on a cigarette as he radiates satisfaction. The frustrated egg turns to him and barks, "Well I guess that answers that question."

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Why did the chicken hang himself?

To get to the other side.

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Why did the Chicken go to KFC?

To see a chicken strip.

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Chickens react to Easter Eggs

Some farmer's kids are painting eggs for Easter. One looks up and says, "Hey, how do you think the chickens would act around these?"

"I don't know," says the other. "Let's find out!"

They go into the chicken coop, steal the fresh eggs and replace them with the colorful eggs. The kids step out and watch.

The hens come in and nothing, they go about their business.

The rooster struts in, sees the eggs, and has a fit. He bursts out of the coop, storms across the farmyard, and beats the hell out of the peacock.

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A chicken walks in a bar and orders a drink

The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food."

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A chicken walks in to a bar...

A chicken walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "What'll be, chicken?"
The chicken says, "I'd like a nice pale ale with some type of a fruit flavor."
The bartender says, "You want the bar across the road."

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Chicken Wire

An old man was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.

He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

**Boy yells back** "Roll of chicken wire."

Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"

**Boy says** "Gonna catch some chickens."

Old man yells "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.

Old man yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

**Boy yells back** "Roll of duck tape."

Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"

**Boy says back** "Gonna catch me some ducks."

Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!"

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.

Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

**Boy says** "It's a pussy willow."

Old man says "Wait up ... I'll get my hat."

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Why must a chicken coupe have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan

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How do you know if a chick used a vibrator while she was pregnant?

The kid stutters

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What are the most funny Chic jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Chic? Well, here are the best Chic dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Chic pick up lines to share with friends.

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