Chewing Gum Jokes
78 chewing gum jokes and hilarious chewing gum puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chewing gum that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chewing Gum Short Jokes
Short chewing gum jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chewing gum humour may include short chewing jokes also.
- What is the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says "Spit out the gum!"
A train says "Chew! Chew!"
Ye, courtesy of my 8 year old daughter. - I'm thinking about starting a business that recycles discarded chewing gum... I just need help getting it off the ground.
- What's the difference between a teacher and a train?? The teacher tells you to to spit out the gum, while the other says "chew-chew!"
- "Are you chewing gum?" the teacher asked the student. "Do I look like chewing gum to you?" the student replied.
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My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class. I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking. - What's the similarity between a pack of chewing gum and a gun? When you pull it out in class, everyone wants to be friends
- what is the difference between school and train? The school says spit chewing gum but the train says "chew chew chew"
- How does a train driver operate a train while eating gum? He goes chew chew chew...
creds to my 5yo brother - So apparently the new fashion trend of the day is to stick chewed gum in your hair It's a unique look but it's hard to pull off.
- I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum... I just need help getting it off the ground...
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Chewing Gum One Liners
Which chewing gum one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chewing gum? I can suggest the ones about bubble gum and chews.
- My teacher said, "Are you chewing gum?" I said, "Do I look like chewing gum to you?"
- What is the easiest way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.
- What kind of gum do bees chew? BUMBLEGUM.
Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not. - What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum.
- What is a train's favourite food? Gum. *chew* *chew*
- What is hard when it goes in and soft and sticky when it comes out? A chewing gum
- What kind of gum do astronauts chew? Hubble Bubble
- What goes in mouth dry and hard and come out soft and sticky? Chewing gum
- What's the most effective way to remove a sticky chewing gum from your hair ? Cancer.
- Where do gum chewing cattle invest? Moo-chew-all funds
- From the man himself: What brand of gum does Neil DeGrasse Tyson chew? Eclipse.
- I opened a new chewing gum factory recently. It's making a mint.
- They say it takes 7 years to digest swallowed chewing gum. Yet somehow, I'm still hungry.
- Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil. - Have you tried the new Polar Ice chewing gum? It's just water.
Chewing Gum Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny chewing gum day jokes and even better chewing gum day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Give a man a stick of gum and he'll chew for a day. Teach him how to scrape gum off things and he'll chew for a lifetime.
- I started chewing nicotine gum the other day. I don't smoke, but I gradually want to start. =)
Delightful Fun Chewing Gum Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about chewing gum you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gums jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chewing gum pranks.
A disciple went to his master and said, "I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end." His master said, "Here, have some chewing gum."
A disciple went to his master and said, "I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end." His master said, "Here, have some chewing gum."
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.."
Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
At least she didn't say s**....
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says:
"Chew Chew."
/Badum cshhhh
Three Guys Are Getting Ready For Their Dates
The first guy pops a breath mint for his date so his breath smells good. Then the second guy starts chewing some gum so his breath smells good. Then the last guy starts eating onions and garlic. The others say "Don't you want to have nice smelling breath for your date?"
"Nah" he says, "The lips I'm kissing tonight already stink."
An Australian man was having coffee...
and toast with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
The Australian politely ignored the American who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The American snapped the gum in his mouth and said, 'Do you Australian folk eat the whole bread?'
The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "yeah, of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."
The American had a smirk on his face, the Australian listened in silence. The American persisted, "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing, the Australian replied "yes."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell it to Australia.
The Australian then asked, "Do you have s**... in the States?" The American smiled and said, "yeah, of course we do." The Australian leant closer to him and asked, "what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away of course" replied the American.
Now it was the Australian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Australia, we put them in containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to The United States.
An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning....
...(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: 'You English folk eat the whole bread??'
Englishman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.'
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) 'We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside.. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to England .' The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The Englishman listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: 'Do you eat jam with the bread??'
Englishman: 'Of Course.'
Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).
'We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to England .'
After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: 'Do you have s**... in France ?'
Frenchman: 'Why of course we do', he says with a big smirk.
Englishman: 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'
Frenchman: 'We throw them away, of course.'
Englishman: 'We don't. In England , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France .'
How it feels to chew 5 gum.
Like s**...,ends in 5 minutes.
I bought a pack of carefree gum
I chewed a piece and I still had cares.
A duck was attacked by chewing gum.
It never flew again.
How do scientists develop chewing gum flavors?
Through ex-spear-i-mints.
What do doctors do with the foreskins from circumcisions?
Sell them to gay guys as chewing gum.
I chew gum when I get sad
It helps chew me up
What comes in hard, comes out soft, and what do you blow hard?
chewing gum, you sicko...
a french girl married a texas guy..
After a while together, she is complaining:
- listen, John, when you kiss me with a chewing gum in your mouth, I can live with that, when you make love to me with your boots and hat on - i can bear with it, but please take your cigar out when we do 69!
Why does Bill Clinton chew gum all the time?
He has an o**... fixation.
Did you know 9 out of 10 dentists recommend chewing gum?
In other news, a dentist has recently been found dead in his apartment.
What do rabbis do with the circumcised foreskins?
Sell them to priests as chewing gum.
Why don't statisticians like chewing gum from green packets?
Because spearmints rank.
I walked into the dentist's office with gum in my mouth.
The dentist chewed me out.
A chewing gum goes around the corner..
and gets stuck.
I heard chewing the same gum while studying and taking an exam is a good practice for success
Apparently fapping isn't
A blonde walks into a bar.
Was too busy trying to walk and chew gum that she didn't notice.
What do r**... fathers like to chew on?
Dad gum
The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
Why don't elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
Son: Hey dad I am chewing gum
Dad: Hey Chewing gum I am....Wait..What ?
The question no one can answer...
How come people say they ate the last piece of gum when they really just chew it?
Working in the bubble gum industry is rough...
After awhile, they just chew you up and spit you out!
Three men were waiting outside the labor ward...
A nurse came out to tell the first man: "Congratulations. You are the father of twins." "Twins!"he exclaimed "How about that? I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Co!"
Five minutes later, a nurse came out to tell the second man: "Congratulations. You are the father of triplets." "Triplets!" he said "What a coincidence! I work for the 3M Organization!"
Upon hearing this, the third man stood up & muttered: ''I need some air, I work for 7 up!"
A joke my husband made up...What kind of gum does Trump chew?
Double impeachmint. (Yes he is a Dad....)
Three snails were drinking at a bar. One of the snails got up to buy chewing gum at the store. He asked his snail friends if they wanted some gum too. They said yes.
3 years passed. One of the snail friends said he still hasn't returned, we might as well drink his beer . Suddenly a voice from the door yelled, if you touch my beer, I won't be buying you guys any chewing gum! .
What's hard before you use it, wet while you're using it and soft and flaccid after you are done using it?
Chewing gum.
