The Best 75 Chew Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chew jokes. There are some chew listerine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chew novocain puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chew Jokes and Puns

What do you call a Wookiee with a nicotine addiction?

Chew to' bacca

At least she didn't say swallow.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says:
"Chew Chew."

/Badum cshhhh

When Chewbacca was learning his bowcaster skills he accidentally shot himself in the foot...

Wookie error.

Chew joke, When Chewbacca was learning his bowcaster skills he accidentally shot himself in the foot...

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Your girl has to chew before she swallows.

What sound does a train make when it's eating?

Chew Chew

From the man himself: What brand of gum does Neil DeGrasse Tyson chew?


What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

Chew joke, What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Life Hack

If you're ever hungry in trig class, chew on the corner of your paper. It's equivelant to half a pi.

The kindness of strangers

An old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. The driver, being polite, accepts and munches them.

Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts.

Driver : Why don't you eat them yourself ?

Old lady : I can't chew them. Look, I have no teeth.

Driver : Then why do you buy them ?

Old lady : Oh, I just love the chocolates around them.

How does a train driver operate a train while eating gum?

He goes chew chew chew...

creds to my 5yo brother

How does a train eat?

It goes chew chew

You can explore chew flossiraptor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chew bigly dad jokes. There are also chew puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why is Chewbacca bad at sports?

He's just a wookie!

Where does Chewbacca research his college essays?


Did you know Chewbacca got a girl pregnant the first time he had sex

It was a Wookie mistake

A man sees his dog chew up and swallow a pencil

Concerned, he immediately phones the vet.

"Doctor, my dog just chewed up and swallowed my pencil! What should i do?"

"Hmm...that sounds serious. You better bring him to me. I'll see you within a half hour."

"Yes, doctor, but what should I do in the meantime?"

"Use a pen."

Join the food train

Chew chew!!!

Chew joke, Join the food train

I told my girlfriend that we should play trains...

All she'd have to do is sit on my face.

Then ill "Chew chew".

// not my joke //

Why does Bill Clinton chew gum all the time?

He has an oral fixation.

Chewing and eating are very similar things.

But getting chewed out and getting eaten out are very different.

What kind of train eats too much?

a chew chew train

Why do Pokemons like to eat sunflower seeds?

Because they like to pick and chew

How do trains eat?

They go chew chew!

What kind of gum do bees chew?


Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

A blonde fox gets caught in a fox trap...

After a minute the fox realizes the only way out is to chew off it's leg. Three legs later... it's still in the fox trap.

How does the train eats ?

Chew Cheww

Why did Chewbacca fail his driving test?

He made a few Wookiee errors.

What kind of food do you chew with your mouth open?

Sea Food

How does a train eat?

Chew Chew

How do you know when you've got a high sperm count?

When she has to chew before she swallows.

What would Chewbacca be called if he worked with porcelain?

Hairy Potter

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

A teacher says "Spit out the gum!"
A train says "Chew! Chew!"

Ye, courtesy of my 8 year old daughter.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Your wife has to chew

What does a tsundere wookie mom gasp when she sees her baby choking on food?

Chew baka

Did you hear about the guy who tried to enter the chewing tobacco competition?

He ended up being the first ones out because he bit off more than he could chew

What do redneck fathers like to chew on?

Dad gum

Where does Chewbacca go for his information on the internet?


I own the chewed pencil that Shakespeare used to write his famous works.

He used to chew on it so much that I can't tell whether it's 2B or not 2B.

How does a train eat?

It chew chews.

Which kind of bear can chew the best?

A molar bear

People complain about vegans but it's cannibals you gotta watch out for.

They'll chew your ear off.

What is a train's favourite food? Gum.

*chew* *chew*

Two goats chew on a VHS tape.

The first goat says "*This film is pretty good"* and the other one replies: "*Yeah, it's OK but the book was better."*

Star Wars fans don't smoke cigarettes after sex...

They chew 'bacca

I've just started the Adam Ant diet.

Don't chew ever, don't chew ever.

Why are hillbilly men not circumcised?

Because they need somewhere to carry their chew.

What do Chinese call 69?

Two can chew

How do trains eat?

Chew Chew

How does a woman know if her boyfriend is fertile? NSFW

If she has to chew before she swallows.

What sound does a locomotive with fangs make?


What do you call a train full of toffee?

A chew chew train

Did you Chewbacca became a film director? The actors keep complaining he hasn't gotten one scene right yet...

Wookie Miss Takes

Two cannibals were eating a clown .....

One of the cannibals stops mid chew and asked his friend "...... Something taste funny to you?"

Working in the bubble gum industry is rough...

After awhile, they just chew you up and spit you out!

Why do women from Wyoming prefer to chew Copenhagen instead of smoking cigarettes?

It's because of the wind.

When they try to light cigarettes they always end up burning their moustaches.

Why did Chewbacca go dating in Somerset?

He was looking for a Wookey hole

What is an easy way to tell that you have a high sperm count?

She has to chew before she swallows.

Breaking news! A group of ornithologists have recently published a study concerning the primary cause of death among Swallows:

Apparently, they don't chew their food.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Why is Chewbacca bad at shooting blasters?

He's a Wookie.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

Where does Chewbacca go to get confidential documents about his enemies?


Day 268 at home And the dog continues looking at me like See?? This is why I chew furniture.

I've eaten 9 meals and taken 4 naps, and it's STILL today. Are you kidding me?

In case you've lost track, today is December 268...

This virus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day grazing for
food. We're told "NO!" if we get too close to strangers. We get really excited about car rides.

My wife said if I don't get off the computer and help with the dishes, she'll slam my head on the keyboard. I think she's jokinoifghcxiegcrwlwefggxm
lkergx eyt3ruhcmergceg ewgucc ce;oeijf !!!

what is the difference between school and train?

The school says spit chewing gum but the train says "chew chew chew"

The 4 rules of plumbing

Payday is Friday

Shit flows downhill

The boss is an ass

Don't chew your fingernails

A joke my husband made up...What kind of gum does Trump chew?

Double impeachmint. (Yes he is a Dad....)

Why was Chewbacca a terrible pilot?

What do you expect, he was just a wookie

I've always had a problem with eating my fingernails.

I get anxious and chew them off and eat them and they look terrible. One day my sister noticed and told me to go to the drug store for some press-on nails. She said they looked good and would keep me from biting my nails. So I went and bought some and she was right. They looked so good I ate them right out of the box.

Something to chew over

The cannibal was late to the luncheon, so they gave him the cold shoulder.

Why did Chewbacca crash the Millennium Falcon the first time he flew it?

It was a Wookiee mistake.

I think Model Trains cast an unrealistic beauty standard on actual trains...

But model trains never eat and real trains are always CHEW CHEW CHEW-ing

I own Shakespeare's old chewed pencil.

He chewed on it so much i cant tell if its 2b or not 2b

Chewbacca locked the keys in the Millennium Falcon.......

It was a Wookie mistake!

What did the anime character say to the wookiee when it ate too fast?

Chew, baka!

What kind of vehicle is a really good eater?

A chew chew train.

"Are you chewing gum?" the teacher asked the student.

"Do I look like chewing gum to you?" the student replied.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chew chewy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chew sugary piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes