The Best 17 Chest Hair Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chest Hair jokes. There are some chest hair neck jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chest hair head puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chest Hair Jokes and Puns

Pilot Choice

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."

The wife asks: "Honey, is the neckline on this dress to deep?". The husband looks at her and says: "No babe, but I can see your chest hair." She replies: "But I don't have chest hair!". "Then it's to deep." says the husband.

Daughter asks her father if she is showing too much cleavage.

Father replies:"If you don't have chest hair, then yes."

My wife claims that she can wax off my chest hair without causing any pain, but I'm a little nervous.

I don't think she will be able to pull it off.

A woman is trying on a dress in a store and asks the sales girl if she thinks the neckline is too low.

The salesgirl asks her, "Have you got hair on your chest?"

"Of course not." says the woman wearing the dress.

"Then the neckline is too low." Replies the sales girl.


A trip to the barbers...

That'll put hairs on your chest.

As a guy, I used to shave my chest hair...

But now it's starting to grow on me.

"Eat your vegetables....

... it puts hairs on your chest, look, I'm as hairy as a gorilla."

"Stop it mom, that's gross."

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.

Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"

I hate the idea of men shaving their chest hair but when your baby is pulling them then it has to go, we can always make another one.

In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair...

3 of the 5.

You can explore chest hair arms legs reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chest hair tourniquet dad jokes. There are also chest hair puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office.



He said he would go the next day.

So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly.

He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."

Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.

Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?

A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.



Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.

He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof.

He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened.

She replies, โ€œWell get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!โ€

Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.

Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chest hair ingrown jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chest hair hair follicles piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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