The Best 35 Chess Player Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chess Player jokes. There are some chess player jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chess player puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chess Player Jokes and Puns

I went to lunch with a champion chess player.

It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...

What did the Australian Chess player say to the waiter?

Cheque, mate!

I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.

It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal?

Check, mate.

Once a man met the great chessmaster Gary Kasparov on a plane seat beside him

The grandmaster says "would u like to play a game of chess for a $100 per game?" The man replies "I know who you are mate I would never be able to beat you". Gary thinks a bit and says "I will play with my left hand" the man accepts.

Afterwards when he recites his story to his wife he says "I lost 1800 dollars to that man he is such a great player even with his left hand".
The wife says, "YOU FOOL!!"
"He was a lefty and u didn't realise it"

I had lunch with a chess player yesterday.

It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.

Two chess player were in an open lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.

The manager comes over and says, "Could you both go to your rooms now?"

They ask, "Why?"

The manager replies, "Because I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

What do Australians in a restaurant and chess players have in common?

"Check mate"

Chess players say checkers players are dumb. But I like checkers...

Plus the red ones taste good.


Who is the chess player's dream companion?

A *Czech Mate*

Why do chess grandmasters use Tinder in Prague?

Because every good chess player makes a move for a Czech mate.

You can explore chess player reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chess player dad jokes. There are also chess player puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Anyone hear the one about the three legged chess player?

Some say he's always a step ahead of the competition.

Why do chess players date in Prague?

To find a Czech mate

How does an Australian chess player ask for the bill?

Check mate!

What do a chess player and a pornstar have in common?

Thinking long and hard

I Want to Become a Famous Chess Player.

But I've got too much of a checkered past to do it.

Why do Australian chess matches never last long?

As soon as one player attacks the other's king, it's check, mate

Which rockstar is the best chess player?

Bob Seger, because he's always working on them knight moves.

A bunch of chess players are in a hotel lobby discussing their recent victories.

The manager comes up to them and says, Sorry gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave immediately!

Leave? Why? They asked.

The manager responded If there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

There's a new Netflix show coming out about an obese chess player...

Dairy Queen's Gambit

How do chess players reproduce?

By check-mating.

What did the chess player say after eating at an Australian restaurant?

Check, mate!

A chess player was travelling abroad for a tournament

He managed to find a room at a small hotel. Upon entering the room, he immediately knew something was wrong and briskly made his way back to reception.

"Is something wrong?" the receptionist asked, startled by the man's disgruntled demeanour.

The man exclaimed "I thought I paid for room and board!"

Australian chess player

What did the Australian chess player say after finishing his meal at a restaurant?

Check mate.

I hate playing chess with Australian players

Every check is a check, mate.

What makes a chess player happy?

Taking a night off.

Why did the chess player throw away his bread?

Because it was stalemate

A chess player once borrowed a million dollars to purchase special edition chess boards.

His friend asked him to pay the money back but he ran away. His friend got cancer and couldn't pay the bills.

Finally the chess player went to visit him, holding a piece of paper in his hand. He walked up to him, and extended his arm towards him, and said "Check, mate."

How does a chess player avoid catching an STD?


A chess-player wins a cash-bet with his buddy...

"Cheque, mate."


An Australian is playing chess. He says, "Check, mate."

Although the game just begun, the other player leaves thinking the game is over

What does a chess player and an Australian diner have in common?

They both say, check mate .

How does an Australian chess player end a nice dinner at an restourant?

Check mate!

I was waiting for a girl to make a move on me, but it was taking her too long

Then I found out she was a Chess Player

I went on a date with a chess player...

I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant. With checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chess player jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chess player piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes