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Chess Player Jokes

55 chess player jokes and hilarious chess player puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chess player that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Chess Player Short Jokes

Short chess player jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chess player humour may include short chess piece jokes also.

  1. I met some chess players in the hotel lobby bragging about how good they were It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
  2. I went to lunch with a champion chess player. It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...
  3. What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal? Check, mate.
  4. Chess players say checkers players are dumb. But I like checkers... Plus the red ones taste good.
    Cr
  5. Anyone hear the one about the three legged chess player? Some say he's always a step ahead of the competition.
  6. I Want to Become a Famous Chess Player. But I've got too much of a checkered past to do it.
  7. Why do Australian chess matches never last long? As soon as one player attacks the other's king, it's check, mate
  8. Which rockstar is the best chess player? Bob Seger, because he's always working on them knight moves.
  9. Australian chess player What did the Australian chess player say after finishing his meal at a restaurant?
    Check mate.
  10. cHEsS An Australian is playing chess. He says, "Check, mate."
    Although the game just begun, the other player leaves thinking the game is over

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Chess Player One Liners

Which chess player one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chess player? I can suggest the ones about chess and tennis player.

  1. Why do chess players search for love in Central Europe? They prefer Czech mates
  2. What do Zoologists and Chess players both get excited over? Mating patterns
  3. You know who doesn't have a checkered past? Chess players
  4. Who is the chess player's dream companion? A *Czech Mate*
  5. Why did the chess player download tinder in Prague? He was looking for a Czech mate.
  6. What's a chess player's favorite country? Czech Republic
  7. What do a chess player and a pornstar have in common? Thinking long and hard
  8. There's a new Netflix show coming out about an obese chess player... Dairy Queen's Gambit
  9. How do chess players reproduce? By check-mating.
  10. What did the chess player say after eating at an Australian restaurant? Check, mate!
  11. What makes a chess player happy? Taking a night off.
  12. Why did the chess player throw away his bread? Because it was stalemate
  13. How does a chess player avoid catching an STD? Checkmate
  14. A chess-player wins a cash-bet with his buddy... "Cheque, mate."
  15. What did the Australian chess player say after winning the chess competition? Check m8

Ridiculous Chess Player Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about chess player you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knight chess jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chess player pranks.

Early, but here's one for the Holidays.

The Annual Chess-Lovers Convention was in full swing. This year, the highly-anticipated event was hosted by the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Expert players and avid enthusiasts gathered from all around the world for the occasion.
The afternoon of the first day, a heated debate broke out in the main atrium of the hotel. Two very experienced players started pompously arguing over whose opening strategies were better. As the argument progressed, more people joined in to voice their opinions. The atrium erupted in quite a disruption! Security guards intervened to break it up at the Hotel Manager's direction. He demanded the lot be forcibly removed from the hotel!
"Mr. Manager," one of the security guards spoke up. "You don't think that's overreacting a bit? It was just an argument. No one was hurt or anything."
"I don't care!" the manager declared. "I can't stand Chess Nuts Boasting in an Open Foyer!"

What did the racist chess player say?

All Rook same!

Why was the chess player pregnant?

Because they were mated.

I like my men like I like my chess players...

They know how to make an opening.

What do they call a handsome chess player in China?

A good rooking dude

A chess player was travelling abroad for a tournament

He managed to find a room at a small hotel. Upon entering the room, he immediately knew something was wrong and briskly made his way back to reception.
"Is something wrong?" the receptionist asked, startled by the man's disgruntled demeanour.
The man exclaimed "I thought I paid for room and board!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A bunch of chess players are in a hotel lobby discussing their recent victories.

The manager comes up to them and says, Sorry gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave immediately!
Leave? Why? They asked.
The manager responded If there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

I went on a date with a chess player...

I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant. With checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.

I was waiting for a girl to make a move on me, but it was taking her too long

Then I found out she was a Chess Player

What does a chess player and an Australian diner have in common?

They both say, check mate .

A chess player once borrowed a million dollars to purchase special edition chess boards.

His friend asked him to pay the money back but he ran away. His friend got cancer and couldn't pay the bills.
Finally the chess player went to visit him, holding a piece of paper in his hand. He walked up to him, and extended his arm towards him, and said "Check, mate."

Watching Queen's Gambit really put me in the holiday spirit. Especially the scene where the player are in the hotel lobby bragging about the matches they won

I love chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Once a man met the great chessmaster Gary Kasparov on a plane seat beside him

The grandmaster says "would u like to play a game of chess for a $100 per game?" The man replies "I know who you are mate I would never be able to beat you". Gary thinks a bit and says "I will play with my left hand" the man accepts.
Afterwards when he recites his story to his wife he says "I lost 1800 dollars to that man he is such a great player even with his left hand".
The wife says, "YOU FOOL!!"
"He was a lefty and u didn't realise it"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Two chess player were in an open lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.

The manager comes over and says, "Could you both go to your rooms now?"
They ask, "Why?"
The manager replies, "Because I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why are chess players good in bed?

They can find up to 8 G spots for their queen.