Chess Jokes

Funniest Chess Short Jokes

Short chess jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chess humour may include short poker jokes also.

1. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
2. I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park. It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
3. Two guys are playing chess. One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"
   So they stop playing chess.
4. Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
5. Why can't the Uk and the USA play chess anymore? Because one lost its queen and the other lost its two towers
6. Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally? Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
7. You can never enjoy a game of Chess against an Australian. Everytime he checks, you'll think he's won the game.
8. A friend and I were playing chess, and we wanted to make things interesting. So we stopped playing chess.
9. What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common? They both end with a check mate
10. My brother and I were playing chess, and I said to him 'care to make this interesting?' He said 'sure'. So we stopped playing chess.

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Chess One Liners

Which chess one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chess? I can suggest the ones about board game and tennis.

1. Chess is banned under Islam They hate that the queen moves freely.
2. What is the most dangerous position in chess? C4
3. Life is like chess... We can't all be white.
4. Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they don't have 2 tower.
5. How do Australians know who won the chess game? They check, mate.
6. Why is chess so difficult for British people? Cause they just lost the queen.
7. I married a european chess master. He's my Czech mate.
8. Why are chess players good in bed? They can find up to 8 G spots for their queen.
9. I defeated a state chess champion in two moves My karate lessons really paid off.
10. My computer beat me at chess... So I beat my computer at kickboxing.
11. How did the Australian pay for his new chess set? Cheque, mate.
12. I've never been good at chess. Unlike my Czech mate.
13. My dad used to beat me while playing chess... Because I'd always win.
14. I got a job at a chess piece factory recently... ...I'm on the knight shift next week.
15. I like to play chess with old bald men in the park But it's hard to find 32 of them

Chess Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny chess player jokes and even better chess player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I met some chess players in the hotel lobby bragging about how good they were It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
• What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
• I went to lunch with a champion chess player. It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...
• What did the Australian Chess player say to the waiter? Cheque, mate!
• Why do chess players search for love in Central Europe? They prefer Czech mates
• What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal? Check, mate.
• I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are. It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
• What do Zoologists and Chess players both get excited over? Mating patterns
• I had lunch with a chess player yesterday. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
• What do Australians in a restaurant and chess players have in common? "Check mate"

Chess Piece Jokes

Here is a list of funny chess piece jokes and even better chess piece puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• While my roommate was sleeping, I dumped chess pieces on his head. You should have seen the rook on his face.
• A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece.
  The manager says, "Oh sure. Take a rook."
• What chess piece is the best with kids? The bishop
• What did the chess piece say before bed? Knight knight.
• Finally got a job making chess pieces I start on nights next week
• Why would a chess piece in charge of a city be like a bad dream? Because it would be a knight mayor.
• An Australian ate a few old chess pieces. When asked how they were, he said "It was stale, mate."
• I got a job making chess pieces. I'm currently working knights.
• What do you call it when all the pieces on the Chess Board go on Strike?? A Piece-ful Protest.
• I just started a new job at a factory that makes chess pieces. I'm on knights next week.

Knight Chess Jokes

Here is a list of funny knight chess jokes and even better knight chess puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Me and the knight in chess have a lot in common Every time we move it results on an L
• Which rockstar is the best chess player? Bob Seger, because he's always working on them knight moves.
• Chess is actually quite easy... Knight takes Rook, King takes Queen, and Bishop molests the Pawns.
• Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves.
• I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week.
• What did the chess grandmaster do when the big tournament was stressing him out? He took the knight off.
• I got a new job this week. Dressing up as chess pieces... The money's not bad - I'm on knights this week.
• How many Knights are there on a Chess Board? For-tnite
• Can you buy an entire chess set in a p**...-shop? I did it the other knight...
  And I got rooked.
• What's a k**...'s favorite chess piece? A white knight.

Bishop Chess Jokes

Here is a list of funny bishop chess jokes and even better bishop chess puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why does the Pope always win at chess? He has so many Bishops!
• From a kid in the local chess club Kid: Do you know why bishops move diagonally?
  Me: No, why?
  Kid: Because catholic priests never go straight
• To save chess from extinction, the sport must get sexier The only option: pawnography.
  (The bishops will love it)
• Chess is blasphemous Bishops are not allowed to move in a cardinal direction.
• Why are atheists bad at Chess? They can't move the Bishop.
• I think chess has taught me the wrong lessons in life... Because in chess, if you stand directly in front of a bishop, he can't get you.
  ​
  But in church...
• Why don't Episcopalians play chess? They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen
• Why are atheists so bad at chess? They never use their bishops.
• A chess joke: What's the difference between a rook and a bishop? Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have s**... with kids.
• Why don't I play chess with the Prodigy? they s**... my bishop

Chess Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about chess you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soccer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chess pranks.