Chess Jokes

Funniest Chess Short Jokes

Short chess jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chess humour may include short poker jokes also.

1. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
2. I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park. It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
3. Two guys are playing chess. One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"
   So they stop playing chess.
4. Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
5. Why can't the Uk and the USA play chess anymore? Because one lost its queen and the other lost its two towers
6. Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally? Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
7. A friend and I were playing chess, and we wanted to make things interesting. So we stopped playing chess.
8. What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common? They both end with a check mate
9. Did you know chess has a randomizer? The results are across the board.
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   (I'll check myself out, mate)
10. I met some chess players in the hotel lobby bragging about how good they were It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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Chess One Liners

Which chess one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chess? I can suggest the ones about board game and tennis.

1. What is the most dangerous position in chess? C4
2. Life is like chess... We can't all be white.
3. How do Australians know who won the chess game? They check, mate.
4. I married a european chess master. He's my Czech mate.
5. How did the Australian pay for his new chess set? Cheque, mate.
6. I've never been good at chess. Unlike my Czech mate.
7. My dad used to beat me while playing chess... Because I'd always win.
8. I got a job at a chess piece factory recently... ...I'm on the knight shift next week.
9. I played chess with my friend from Central Europe. Czech mate.
10. Why can't michael jackson play chess? Because he is dead.
11. Life is like a game of chess I cant play chess
12. The first time I played chess, I thought the castle moved diagonally. Rookie mistake.
13. Being the first to move in chess. It's a white privilege.
14. A policeman and a prisoner play chess. The policeman beats him.
15. "When did you stop beating your wife?" "When her chess game improved."

Chess Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny chess player jokes and even better chess player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I went to lunch with a champion chess player. It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...
• Why do chess players search for love in Central Europe? They prefer Czech mates
• What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal? Check, mate.
• What do Zoologists and Chess players both get excited over? Mating patterns
• Chess players say checkers players are dumb. But I like checkers... Plus the red ones taste good.
  Cr
• You know who doesn't have a checkered past? Chess players
• Who is the chess player's dream companion? A *Czech Mate*
• Why did the chess player download tinder in Prague? He was looking for a Czech mate.
• What's a chess player's favorite country? Czech Republic
• Anyone hear the one about the three legged chess player? Some say he's always a step ahead of the competition.

Chess Piece Jokes

Here is a list of funny chess piece jokes and even better chess piece puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• While my roommate was sleeping, I dumped chess pieces on his head. You should have seen the rook on his face.
• A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece.
  The manager says, "Oh sure. Take a rook."
• What chess piece is the best with kids? The bishop
• What did the chess piece say before bed? Knight knight.
• Why would a chess piece in charge of a city be like a bad dream? Because it would be a knight mayor.
• An Australian ate a few old chess pieces. When asked how they were, he said "It was stale, mate."
• I got a job making chess pieces. I'm currently working knights.
• What do you call it when all the pieces on the Chess Board go on Strike?? A Piece-ful Protest.
• I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week.
• After months of trying to find a job... ...my mate has recently found work in making chess pieces.
  He starts next week on nights.

Knight Chess Jokes

Here is a list of funny knight chess jokes and even better knight chess puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Me and the knight in chess have a lot in common Every time we move it results on an L
• Which rockstar is the best chess player? Bob Seger, because he's always working on them knight moves.
• Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves.
• What did the chess grandmaster do when the big tournament was stressing him out? He took the knight off.
• How many Knights are there on a Chess Board? For-tnite

Bishop Chess Jokes

Here is a list of funny bishop chess jokes and even better bishop chess puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why does the Pope always win at chess? He has so many Bishops!
• From a kid in the local chess club Kid: Do you know why bishops move diagonally?
  Me: No, why?
  Kid: Because catholic priests never go straight
• To save chess from extinction, the sport must get sexier The only option: pawnography.
  (The bishops will love it)
• Chess is blasphemous Bishops are not allowed to move in a cardinal direction.
• I think chess has taught me the wrong lessons in life... Because in chess, if you stand directly in front of a bishop, he can't get you.
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  But in church...
• Why don't Episcopalians play chess? They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen

Chess Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about chess you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soccer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chess pranks.