They hate that the queen moves freely.
Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have sex with kids.
It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
We can't all be white.
They were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.
''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
Because they don't have 2 towers.
They check, mate.
He's my Czech mate.
So we stopped playing chess.
They both end with a check mate
So I beat my computer at kickboxing.
So we stopped playing chess.
Cheque, mate.
Because every "check" is a "check, mate!"
Reasons are:
1. The Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
2. The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
3. The Queen is more powerful than the King.
4. The Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
5. Most importantly, there's only one Queen.
Because I'd always win.
But it's hard to find 32 of them
The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them
Czech mate.
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Check m8.
Because he is dead.
He moved his queen in front of my king and said "check, mate".
I replied and said, "you didn't win though?"
Confused he said, "mate, I know."
Rookie mistake.
It's a white privilege.
"When her chess game improved."
The policeman beats him.
C4
Because they are missing two towers.
1. The more you practice the better you play.
2. You need to watch your partner's every move.
3. The first game was with grandpa.
Is don't talk about chess club
Classic rook-y mistake.
Your Czech mate
I was working with a Russian bike mechanic named Dmitri when my friend who came into the shop frequently started dating someone who was extremely good at chess. The chess player came into the shop one day so I said to Dmitri "Hey, Dmitri, you play chess don't you?"
"No. No, no not play chess."
"What do you mean 'not play chess'? I thought you all were supposed to be good at that kinda thing."
"No, no, prefer checkers"
"Checkers?! Why don't you like chess, Dmitri?"
"Because! If smart good at chess, not be bike mechanic! And when bored play chess fall asleep and (he slumps forwad) *pop* out your eye! Checkers only bruises."
It was hard to round up 32 of them.
Do you want to be black, or white?
Cause the queen moves freely
It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Cheque, mate!
But it was no match for me in kick-boxing.
They both usually end with "check mate"
They always check, mate
Plan 3 moves ahead then freak out when the other person doesn't do what I planned for.
It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Check, mate.
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
"I'd like to buy this chess set please"
"How will you be paying, sir?"
"Check mate"..
You've always got to be thinking two steps ahead.
And most people want to be white.
To meet her boyfriend. They go out on a date and he decides to take her out to a restaurant.
They have a good time and are finished eating, so the guy calls for the bill.
The woman suddenly says "Wait -- when did we start a game of chess? And how did you win so quickly?"
Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet
A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece.
The manager says, "Oh sure. Take a rook."
They already lost two towers.
We all sat down on the floor. Somebody brought out Monopoly, Frustration, Scrabble, Chess, Risk, Uno, Checkers, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit and Connect Four.
Everybody in the room suddenly turned to me. The guy that had brought in all these games said, "So, which one shall we play?"
"Erm," I hesitated, all eyes glaring at me with anticipation, "I don't know--I, there's so much to choose from."
"Well, what's your favourite game?" he insisted.
In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have said "venison".
They are missing 2 towers
I'll be black
Because they start with two towers missing.
Unfortunately, I'm really bad at mating.
The bishop
A guys finds himself in the woods, comes up to a river and looks around sees just before the bend a priest baptizing people. He goes up to the preacher and without saying a word, the preacher grabs him and dunks him into the water. He shouts, "Have you found Jesus yet?!" The guy, catching his breath, shakes his head a says, "No." The preacher sticks him down again, this time even longer. After bringing him back up he yells again, "Have you found Jesus yet?!?!" Again the guy, hardly being able to breathe, says, "No!" The preacher thrusts him back into the water harder and almost to the point where he drowns. He brings the man back up in the last seconds and exclaims louder than previous times, "Have you found Jesus yet?!?!?!" and the man retorts, "No, are you sure he's down here?!"
Two blondes are playing chess.
(The joke doesn't end here)
Blond 1: I'm bored of this, let's go do something else.
Blond 2: Yeah, you're right cause your rook and my bishop is all that's left on the board.
(The joke doesn't end here either)
A guy sees them playing and proposes them to play a match with him.
Both of them refuse, saying that he'll win easily.
The guy: You can both play together against me.
The girls: But we would still lose.
The guy:Okay I'll play using only my left hand.
The girls: Yup! That's seems fair enough, lets play.
(It still does not end here)
The blondes obviously lose and the guy leaves.
Blonde 1:That's pathetic! He beat us at chess with his left hand!
Blonde 2:He fooled us!
Blonde 1:How?
Blonde 2:He must be left-handed!
Most people don't know how to play chess.
Said my son, playing a lovely chess game with me.
^^*true ^^story
It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
But I have managed to keep them in check so far.
We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game.
He's my Czech mate
Czech mate
Czech mate
He's my Czech mate.
and Bush already lost two towers.
He has so many Bishops!
We have collected gags and puns about Chess to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Chess? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Chess pick up lines to share with friends.