Following is our collection of funny Chess jokes. There are some chess dota jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chess dog playing chess puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
They hate that the queen moves freely.
Because he is dead.
The policeman beats him.
We can't all be white.
"I'd like to buy this chess set please"
"How will you be paying, sir?"
"Check mate"..
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Check m8.
Check, mate.
It was hard to round up 32 of them.
C4
You can explore chess czechmate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chess australians dad jokes. There are also chess puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because every "check" is a "check, mate!"
So we stopped playing chess.
Do you want to be black, or white?
Cheque, mate!
Because they are missing two towers.
It's a white privilege.
But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
Your Czech mate
He's my Czech mate.
Classic rook-y mistake.
So we stopped playing chess.
Because they don't have 2 towers.
Because I'd always win.
They were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.
''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
He moved his queen in front of my king and said "check, mate".
I replied and said, "you didn't win though?"
Confused he said, "mate, I know."
Is don't talk about chess club
You've always got to be thinking two steps ahead.
And most people want to be white.
Plan 3 moves ahead then freak out when the other person doesn't do what I planned for.
They both usually end with "check mate"
The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them
They always check, mate
"When her chess game improved."
Cheque, mate.
Reasons are:
1. The Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
2. The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
3. The Queen is more powerful than the King.
4. The Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
5. Most importantly, there's only one Queen.
It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
Czech mate.
Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have sex with kids.
Rookie mistake.
So I beat my computer at kickboxing.
Cause the queen moves freely
They check, mate.
But it was no match for me in kick-boxing.
It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
But it's hard to find 32 of them
It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...
1. The more you practice the better you play.
2. You need to watch your partner's every move.
3. The first game was with grandpa.
They both end with a check mate
Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.
Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.
Two in one direction, then one to the side.
Hm, funny how the knight moves.
One guy asks "What's your ethnicity?"
As he knocks over the king, the other guy responds "Czech, mate"
So don't roll the dice. Check first, and then mate.
One says: "We're really cut off from the news here. For instance, I never found out the result of the Fischer-Spassky chess match."
The other one replies: "Oh, I lost."
I know a few openings, but continually struggle to put myself into mating positions
Everytime he checks, you'll think he's won the game.
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
You strategically think of all the moves and you have the intelligence to win, but they will just shit on all the pieces and then strut around as if they'd won
It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I cant play chess
..to find exactly 32 of them.
...I'm on the knight shift next week.
A chesseract!
Turns out he's pretty shit at karate.
IT TOOK HIM FOUR HOURS TO PASS THE FRICKING SALT
I know a few openings, but struggle to get into mating positions
I think we may have a chess addiction.
You should have seen the rook on his face.
Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
The results are across the board.
(I'll check myself out, mate)
Dairy Queen's Gambit
It was no match for me at kickboxing though.
He was my Czech mate.
Because every good chess player makes a move for a Czech mate.
Boris: You know Chess?
Norris: No, Judo
One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"
So they stop playing chess.
Finally my high school karate courses have paid off.
The manager comes over and says, "Could you both go to your rooms now?"
They ask, "Why?"
The manager replies, "Because I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chess rook jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chess opponent piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.