Chernobyl Jokes
108 chernobyl jokes and hilarious chernobyl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chernobyl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Chernobyl jokes have become a popular part of the fallout from the Chernobyl Nuclear Reactor in Ukraine. These jokes show the resilience of the people of Russia and Ukraine in dealing with the disaster. Read on to learn more about these offbeat Chernobyl jokes and find out why they have become such a popular part of the legacy of this tragedy.
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Funniest Chernobyl Short Jokes
Short chernobyl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chernobyl humour may include short reactor jokes also.
- I live in Pripyat and I just finished watching Chernobyl And I gotta say I counted 17 inaccuracies on my right hand alone.
- My mate just watched the Chernobyl documentary and, having grown up in Ukraine in the 1980s, he was pretty mad. And I get it, too. He counted at least eight historical inaccuracies on one hand.
- A Soviet newspaper announces: "Last night, the Chernobyl nuclear Power Station fulfilled the Five Year Plan for heat energy generation..."
"...in four microseconds." - I've just ordered an empty cardboard box from Chernobyl. It was the cheapest microwave I could find.
- Chernobyl Have you ever seen Ronald Reagan's response to the Chernobyl incident?
He thought the Russians were just "overreacting." - Chernobyl I know a man who just watched the series drama Chernobyl. He lives right outside of the place.
He says he counted 9 factual mistakes in the drama series on one hand - Why are Chernobyl residents smarter than the average person? Because 2 heads are better than one.
- I hear that kids from Chernobyl are really good at math. After all, they can count to 15 on their fingers.
- "My goodness, you've grown a foot since I last saw you..." ...said the doctor in Chernobyl.
- How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They glow in the dark.
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Chernobyl One Liners
Which chernobyl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chernobyl? I can suggest the ones about radiation and fallout.
- I can count on one hand how many time I have been to Chernobyl. It's 14.
- I just flew in from Chernobyl And boy are my arms leg.
- How do kids from chernobyl count to a 100? On their fingers
- I went on a trip to Chernobyl last week It was rad
- I told a girl she had a radiant smile I didn't know she was from Chernobyl
- What do you call hunting for fish in Chernobyl? Nuclear fishin'.
- Why is it a bad idea to wear tiny shorts on a ukranian holiday? Chernobyl fallout.
- What did the scientists in Chernobyl get paid in? Exposure
- I did my first stand up routine in Chernobyl last night I got glowing reviews
- Why should you never buy Russian underwear? Because Chernobyl fallout.
- What's the most popular band in Chernobyl? Fall Out Boy
- What do you call a used shirt from someone from Chernobyl Third hand
- Why shouldn't you buy cheap jeans from Northern Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout.
- Where are the happiest people on earth? At Chernobyl. They are radiating.
- You can never trust someone from Chernobyl. Most of them are two-faced.
Chernobyl Fallout Jokes
Here is a list of funny chernobyl fallout jokes and even better chernobyl fallout puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Don't buy Ukrainian boxer shorts... ...Chernobyl fallout.
(*has to be read in a British accent*) - Why should you always wear underwear in Ukraine? Otherwise Chernobyl Fallout.
- Why don't Ukrainians where y-fronts? Because Chernobyl fall-out...
- If you are a man, don't visit nuclear disaster zones. Because chernobyl fallout.
- Why shouldn't you wear trousers from northern Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout
- What happens if you wear irradiated underwear? Chernobyl fallout.
- Why should you not wear Russian underpants Why should you not wear Russian underpants... because Chernobyl Fallout
(English Joke) - My girlfriend reminds me of Chernobyl... There's nuclear fallout when she over-reacts!
- Why should you never buy ukrainian underwear? Chernobyl fallout.
Chernobyl Nuclear Jokes
Here is a list of funny chernobyl nuclear jokes and even better chernobyl nuclear puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a nuclear-powered car? A mobile-Chernobyl!
Cheerful Fun Chernobyl Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about chernobyl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chernobyl fallout jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chernobyl pranks.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Why shouldn't you wear radioactive underwear?
Because Chernobyl fall off
Potatoes from Chernobyl
An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."
The Irish have announced they've sent a peace keeping force to Ukraine.
They've managed to secure the city of Chernobyl without any resistance!
They say that life imitates art.
Chernobyl is a great example of this, as most of the kids there look like Picasso paintings.
What's the problem with radioactive underpants?
Chernobyl fall out..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Bills at a bar
Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia where sitting at the bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:
"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."
The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:
"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."
The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and shows that he has two p**.... He then says:
"My name is Bill. Chernobyl."
A scientist tried to recreate the Chernobyl disaster using only transparent gases
It was a new, clear reaction.
A Minsk fireman gets home from work...
... and says to his wife, "They told me that tomorrow I either go to Chernobyl or hand in my Party card."
"But you're not in the party," she replies.
"Right, so I'm wondering how do I get a Party card by tomorrow morning?"
Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park
They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.
How many Chernobyl survivors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They already glow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teacher to russian student: Boris, beware, I have eyes in my back!
russian student: What Are you braging about? I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!
What has 4 legs but cant move?
A child born in Chernobyl, duh.
Ukraine are currently third in the Paralympics table, reaping the rewards of their investment programme...
...Or as we know it, 'Chernobyl 1986'
Everyone here is on about going to Chernobyl and getting mutated. I also went there and didn't see anything strange at all
I'm telling you. I saw it with my own five eyes
It's very difficult to gather mushrooms in Chernobyl
they scramble in all directions when you walk up to them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you go on pornhub in Chernobyl
Is there still hot singles in your area?
Kids all over the world have beautiful smiles
Kids from Chernobyl radiate
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the Marathon being held in Chernobyl for Victims whose Limbs have been amputated?
They're calling it the Nuclear Arms Race.
How does a pakistani visit Chernobyl?
With a Hasnat suit.
I just flew back from Chernobyl
These new wings work perfectly!
What will happen if you stay in a highly-radiated city for too long?
Chernobyl drop off.
Do you know why you should never visit Ukraine?
Because Chernobyl fall off
A metal band comprised of Chernobyl survivors
6 Finger Death Punch
What has 16 arms and 12 legs?
5 children born of Chernobyl survivors.
My friend John has changed so much
Ever since moving to Chernobyl he prefers to be addressed with "Deer John".
Since I have visited Chernobyl a I can count to 10
On one hand.
Do you know why the Russian have a two headed eagle as a logo?
It's because of Chernobyl.
Did you hear about that boy who lived in Chernobyl?
I heard he grew a foot last time I saw him.
Why should you do up your zipper when you go to Ukraine?
Chernobyl fall out
A council was tasked to assign a town song to Chernobyl
After a long debate and several people explaining why it's a terrible idea, they finally decided on the song Radioactive
So many years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed we still have no superheroes?
You guys hear of the Chernobyl X-Games?
The RAD levels were off the charts! Everyone was totally sick!
Im an inspiration
I rebuilt chernobyl with my own 3 hands
Why don't Soviets wear boxer shorts?
Because Chernobyl fall out
Why are kids from Chernobyl so smart?
They have three heads.
Here is a toxic thought
Chernobyl, HAH.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Chernobyl victim name his b**...?
Bill, Kevin, Tom, and Steve
Why is the Chernobyl incident so funny?
I mean, it doesn't even radiate happiness.
What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs during the day, and three legs in the evening?
A man who lives in chernobyl.
I kept telling chernobyl jokes to my russian friend
But every one went straight over his heads
A Russian joke from HBO's Chernobyl
What do you call something as big as a house, uses tons of gas, and cuts apples into 3 pieces?
A Soviet machine made to cut apples into 4 pieces.
A band visited the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone without a guide.
Everyone suffered from radiation poisoning, except the lead guitarist.
I was an exchange student in Chernobyl...
There were so many extra-testicular activities
Did you hear about the guy who won an award for having the most extra body parts?
He won the Chernobyl Piece Prize.
Disneyland will be opened in Chernobyl. As always, at the entrance, the visitors will be greeted by a 7-feet-tall mouse.
But this time, a real one.
My Gran barely recognises me after I've been staying in Chernobyl for a few months.
It's not surprising. I've grown another foot!
A grandson asks his grandfather: "Grandpa, is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant?"
"Yes, there was"
answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson's head.
"Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?"
"Yes, absolutely"
answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson's other head.
