The Best 69 Chemists Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chemists jokes. There are some chemists nabro jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chemists ions puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chemists Jokes and Puns

Two chemists walk into a bar. the first one says, I would like some H2O. And the bartender gives him his drink. Then the second chemist said I would like H2O too.

He died shortly after...

Two chemists walk into a bar

the first one says "can I have a glass of H2O" and the second chemist says "Can I have a glass of H20 too". and then he dies.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."

The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."

The firstο»Ώ chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.

Chemists joke, Two chemists walk into a bar.

Two chemists walk into a bar

Chemist 1: "I'll have some H2O"
Chemist 2: "I'll have some H2O too"
Bartender: "You two faggots talking about water?"

Johnny

Johnny was a chemists son, but Johnny is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.


Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist says "I'd like a glass of H2O." So the bartender gives him water. The second chemist says "I'd like a glass of H2O too." So the bartender also gives him water, because he knows what he meant and had no conceivable reason to be carrying hydrogen peroxide, much less to be giving it as a drink.

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!

Chemists joke, Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'?

Chemists in a pub

After a long day, two chemists, Bill and Bob, go to a pub to unwind. Bob says to the barkeeper, "I'll just have a glass of H^2 0." Bill chimes in, "I'll have a glass of water too". They take a seat as he asks Bob, "Why did you refer to water with its chemical composition?" Bob did not answer, fuming that his assassination attempt had failed.

Two chemists are at a bar. One says, "I'd like some water." The other says "I'd like some Hydrogen Peroxide." The second one died.

Of cancer, many years later.

What happens to dying chemists?

Well, at first they try to helium. Once the disease goes too far, however, the chemist will get rushed to the hospital where doctors will attempt to curium. But once the chemist dies, they might as well barium.

True chemists never die, however. They just attain equilibrium.

Two chemists get married and decide to have children. What did they name their second son?

Ethan.

You can explore chemists technetium reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chemists drugstore dad jokes. There are also chemists puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two chemists walk in a bar...

The first one said: "Can I have a glass of H2O?" The second one said: "I'd like some H2O too" The second man died.

Two chemists walk into a bar

The first chemist tells the bartender "I'll have some H2O, please." The second chemist agrees: "I'll have some H2O also, please."

The second chemist died of aluminum, sulfur, and oxygen poisoning.

Hey guys where do Chemists come from?

... From the *Stork*iometry.
I'll see myself out now.

When and where do chemists have sex?

Periodically, on the table.

Why do chemists love bad jokes?

Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions

Chemists joke, Why do chemists love bad jokes?

Why are chemists always a part of the problem?

Because they can never be a part of the solution.

What do you do with dead chemists?

Barium

What a group of musical chemists called?

Butane Clan


Two Chemists

Two chemists go out for a nice meal. The drinks were okay. The meal was OK too. They both died.

I'm pretty sure chemists are Nazis

They're always trying to get a final solution

What do chemists make guacamole out of?

Avogadros

A man walks out of a bar...

He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...

Why are chemists such whores?

They keep talking about their nitrates

Two chemists went into a bar

The first one said to the bartender, I want H2O, the second one said I want H2O too. The second one died

What is a chemists favourite type of music?

Heavy Metals.

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

What do chemists say when they wanna play a song at guitar?

"Anyway, here's van der Waal."

Why do chemists go to the gym so much?

Before they titrate, they need to get buffer!

What do Waitresses and Chemists have in common?

They both need to check the table periodically...

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?

They're able to make a fun-gal cream.

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too"

He died shortly after.

What type of investment do chemists prefer?

They have an affinity for bonds.

Two chemists are hanging out at a bar after work...

One gets up to go home and says "future copper". Puzzled, the other gazes back for a moment before the first clarifies, "Cu later"

Two chemists walk into a bar...

The first says the the bartender,
"I'll have some H2O,"
After which the second says
"I'll have some H2O too."

And they both enjoy their water, and get home safely to their families, because the bartender is a nice, reasonable man who would never serve Hydrogen Peroxide to a customer.

Why are chemists never wrong?

Because they always have a solution.

Two chemists walk into a bar

The bartender asks "What shall I get you two tonight"

The first chemist says "I'll take it easy tonight, just give me H2O"

The second chemist says "I'll have some H2O as well"

The first chemist is then filled with anger as the joke he heard gave him false hope in his assassination attempt

Two chemists walk into a bar

They walk up to the bartender and the first one says:

"I'll have a glass of H2O."

The other then says to his companion:

"Why don't you just say water? I understand that we're chemists an all that, but you don't need to walk around using random terms!"

The first chemist, frustrated, needs to rethink his assassination plot.

Why don't hippies make good chemists?

Because they're always dropping acid.

Two chemists go into a restaurant

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first one says "I want some H2O."

The second one says "I want some H2O too!"

The second one dies.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist, who had a major disagreement with the second and knows the second chemist only drink water, says to the bartender, "I'll take some H2O."

The second chemist automatically responds, "I'll take some H2O too."

The bartender shrugs then turns around and promptly gives the first chemist his glass of water, and the second chemist a glass of water too... because the bartender is an adult and can infer meaning from contextual clues.

What do you do to chemists when they die?

You barium.

Two chemists walk into a bar...

The first chemist says "I'll have some H20"

The second chemist says, "I'll have some H20 as well."

The first chemist kicks himself as his assassination attempt fails.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One asks for a glass of H*_2_*O.

The other one says, "I'll have a glass of H*_2_*O too."

He dies.

Two chemists walk into a bar

The first says "I'll have H2O"
The second says "I'll have H2O too"
The first chemist drinks his water, the second also drinks water because why would a bar serve poisonous chemicals?

What do you do with sick chemists?

If you can't helium or curium, you barium.

Why do Chemists like Sodium Hydroxide and Ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

What's a chemists favourite thing to do at Christmas?

Decorate his chemistree.

To the rest of us, "solutions" mean finding answers.

But to chemists, "solutions" are when things are still mixed up.

Two chemists walk into a bar..

The first says, "Can I have a glass of H2O?" The second chemist says, "Can I have a glass of water, too?" The first chemist breaks down in tears β€” his assassination attempt has failed.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist says "I'll have some H20."

The second chemist says "I'll have some H20 too."

The bartender, catching on quickly, gives them both glasses of water.

The second chemist steps out behind the bar and begins crying, realizing that his suicide attempt has failed.

Two chemists walk into a restaurant after work

Two chemists walk into a restaurant after work, they sit down at there table and order drinks. The first chemist says, "I will have some H20", the second chemist says, "I will have a glass of water, and dude why are you referring to it so strangely, we aren't at work anymore."

The first chemist then goes into the bathroom and cries as his assassination plot has failed.

Why are so many chemists addicted to alcohol?

Because they are sure alcohol is a solution.

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too".

The bartender then gives them two glasses of water because he doesn't keep freaking Hydrogen Peroxide on the bar counter.

What do alcoholics and chemists have in common?

They both view alcohol as a solution.

I'll see my self out......

Two chemists walk into a bar..

"I'll have H2O," one says.
"I'll have H20, too," says the other.

Neither die, because the bartender understands the context.

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Two chemists walk into a bar. One says, I'll have some H20. The other says, I'll have some H20, too.

He died

For chemists, alcohol is not a problem.

It's a solution.

What do interested chemists and 12 year-old hackers have in common?

Inspect element

Two Chemists

Two Chemists go to a bar.

Soon the bartender arrives and asks about their drinks.

The first one says: "I'll have a glass of H2O"

The second one says "I'll have H2O too"



The second one dies.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says I'll take a glass of H2O. The second says I'll take a glass of H2O too.

*Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water.*Β 

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says to the bartender "I'll have a H20". The second one says "I'll have a H2O as well", making sure to not have his order confused with H2O2.

The second chemist died anyway, because the bartender was a chemistry student who had been waiting his whole life for this.

Two chemists walk into a bar

The first chemist says: I'll have a H2o

The second chemist says: Same

The first chemist goes to the bathroom and contacts his employer on his radio to inform him that plan A had failed.

Two Chemists walk into a bar...

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says "Give me an H2O!" The second says "Give me an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

What do chemists like to watch on YouTube?

Reaction videos.

Two chemists walked into a bar

The first one said, I'd like some H2O


The second one said, I'd like some H2O, too.

After drinking, the second chemist died.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

Chemist 1: I'll have H20 please

Chemist 2: I'Il have water also

Chemist 1 walks away frustrated as his assassination attempt failed

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chemists yttrium jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chemists ammonia piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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