Chemistry Teacher Jokes
87 chemistry teacher jokes and hilarious chemistry teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chemistry teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chemistry Teacher Short Jokes
Short chemistry teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chemistry teacher humour may include short chemistry professor jokes also.
- My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting? They didn't have any chemistry.
- The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution. I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.
- Teacher and student Chemistry teacher: Did you know protons have mass?
Student: 😳 I didn't even know they were catholics. - As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door. He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!
- Chemistry teacher: can you give me the formula for water? Student: h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-. Chemistry teacher: where did you get an idea like that? Student: you told us the other day it was h to o.
- My chemistry teacher exploded when he caught me goofing around in the lab I accidentally made nitroglycerin.
- Bumped into my old Chemistry teacher yesterday ...in fact I knocked him right over.
You should have seen his reaction. - What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em? Barium.
- The chemistry teacher was asked what their favorite element was. They answered "The element of surprise!"
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Chemistry Teacher One Liners
Which chemistry teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chemistry teacher? I can suggest the ones about science teacher and biology teacher.
- It turns out my high school Chemistry teacher was right.... Alcohol IS a solution.
- Why did the physics teacher breakup with the biology teacher ? There was no chemistry
- What does a chemistry teacher says when gold bar fells on his/her feet? Auuuuuuu!
- I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied "Oh man, I slapped my neon that one"
- What did the Japanese chemistry teacher say when he mixed sodium and nitrogen? NaNi???
- What do you do with a chemistry teacher when they die? You barium
- What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ? Barium
- I asked my chemistry teacher if we can revise oxides Because im a bit rusty
- My chemistry teacher was talking about Hydrogen Bonding today. Sounds like a lot of FON.
- Did you hear the one about the new chemistry teacher? He's getting mixed reactions
- What's it called when chemistry teachers share a favorite band? A Co- Van Halen bond
- Chemistry teacher: What is Nitrate? Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!
- Why do Physics and Biology teachers never get along? Because they have no chemistry
- Why did the Chemistry Teacher go to Jail? He got caught giving alcohol to minors.
- I asked my organic chemistry teacher what kinds of jokes he likes... He said, Alkynes
Comedy Chemistry Teacher Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about chemistry teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean physics teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chemistry teacher pranks.
"Hydrogen Monoxide! Hydrogen Monoxide! Hydrogen Monoxide!" shouted Santa.
*Asking the Chemistry teacher to play Santa this year seemed to have backfired*
A student asks his chemistry teacher
Student: Do we get zinc sulfate when zinc reacts with sulfate?
Teacher: I zinc SO
Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until...
Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until he tries to explain the difference between molarity and molality...
Why does the dyslexic Spanish speaker have a poor self image?
His chemistry teacher told him he was mostly made of c**....
My male biology teacher was going out with my female physics teacher.
He had the Biology
She had the Physics
Sadly, they split up. There wasn't any Chemistry between them.
(Bad) Chemistry Pun
teacher: why does bromine bond to this molecule instead of one of the other halogens?
me: because bromines before h**...-mines
(met with groans and laughs from the class)
My chemistry teacher pulled this on us today.
We were reviewing balancing chemical equations and got onto the topic of changing the names of compounds into their symbols so we could start balancing them. My teacher starts, "Changing names into symbols, is very much like translating Spanish into English. Maria estudia. Maria studies. Carlos va a la biblioteca. Carlos goes to the library. Now I would have said prison but I don't know how to say that in Spanish."
I had an argument with me Chemistry teacher today.
I threw some NaCl at him and he yelled;
"HEY, THATS A SALT!"
How does a female chemistry teacher find out its that time of the month again?
She simply looks into the Periodic table
Because of my cake here are a few physics jokes...
1.) Two kittens are on a roof which one falls off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
2.) what happens to electrons and they lose all the energy?
They become Bohred
3.) People call me lazy but I am just overflowing with potential energy.
4.) Did you hear about the man that was cooled absolute zero?
He is 0k now.
5.) I hear Chemistry jokes periodically, but Physics jokes have more potential.
6.) My Chemistry teacher threw Sodium Chlorite at me, is that considered a salt?
7.) √−1 2³ Σ π
It was very delicious.
Hope you enjoyed them.
Today my chemistry teacher told us that alcohol is a problem.
I raised my hand and said, "Didn't you just say yesterday that it's a solution?"
What did the Chemistry teacher announce to his class?
"I have a substance problem."
What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?
He tripped on acid
Chemistry joke as told by my teacher
Organic Chemistry is hard, if you don't study for the test you'll be in alkynes of trouble.
My chemistry teacher said we were going to use burners today.
I asked if I could just play my mixtape instead.
What did the HS principal say when he accidentally got a math substitute to fill in for a chemistry teacher?
Whoops, wrong sub.
Atoms are all liars...
They make up everything!
Credit to wherever my awesomely lame chemistry teacher finds her corny jokes :)
My chemistry teacher went on a camping trip and died...
He was exposed to the elements.
A chemistry teacher is having problems with her desktop...
So she asks the class:
"How do I unfreeze my computer?"
After a few seconds, one student raises their hand and responds:
"What's the melting point?"
Why did the Chemistry teacher give every student Sodium Hydroxide at the beginning of every semester?
So they'd have a strong base for their lessons
My chemistry teacher gave me some Sodium Hypobromite...
My chemistry teacher gave me some Sodium Hypobromite, but I was like "NaBrO". He asked if that was supposed to be funny. I said, "That's my only chemistry joke, the other ones are boron, all the good ones argon".
Saw my chemistry teacher eating shrooms...
He seems like a really fungi.
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor,
so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.
The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.
It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.
"Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
My chemistry class had a party
My teacher brought some avocados, about 6.022x10^23 of them, for the guaca-mole.
I didnt really like my science teacher
There was no chemistry between us.
In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl
- Mary, what is H2SO4?
- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.
Quickly, Johnny says:
- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!
You know, my chemistry teacher has been really happy recently...
He just has a positive outlook on eduCATION
Chem teacher
Chemistry teacher asked the class if they'd ever heard of Amino acids.
My s**... buddy raises his hand and says "yeah if you drop too much of those you get amino headache!"
A chemistry teacher downloaded a dating app
he called it Snder
My chemistry teacher told me to write 1000 words on acid
I tried, but my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
My chemistry teacher also works as an addiction counselor
He's helping me treat my Polonium Radon addiction.
What did the old fashioned Chemistry teacher say to his disobedient student?
Alkane you if you don't start behaving
I went on a date with a chemistry teacher. She thought I didn't know anything about chemistry.
But I was only testing the h**...².
My HS Chemistry teacher told us how to remember the periodic symbols for Silver and Gold-
If someone tried to steal your silver, you'd say A G, I lost my silver. But if someone tried to steal your gold, you'd say A U! Give me back my gold!
A science teacher asked his class "Would you like to hear a Chemistry joke?"
They said "Na"
Teacher: "What's the most important thing to learn in a chemistry lesson?"
Student:
**"Don't lick the spoon."**
Why did the the chemistry teacher and the physics teacher break up?
The chemistry teacher was abusive.
My chemistry teacher just dropped his album....
His album just went chiral.
My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.
She told to me to rank all the bonds.
So I did.
1) Connery
2) Craig
3) Brosnan
4) Dalton
5) Lazenby
She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?
A hot student was getting bad grades in science.
His teacher agreed to give him good grades based on his performance in the bedroom.
They go to the teachers house the next week and have a night of passion.
The student completely flunked the tests but got good grades in chemistry and physics.
He asks why those two and not biology as well.
"Well, the chemistry was definitely there and you were so good with the pushing and pulling"
"What about biology?"
"Well let's just say there's a new carbon based being inside of me thanks to you"
The chemistry teacher approaches Johnny.
During an o**... evaluation, the chemistry teacher approaches Johnny and asks him: what's the chemical formula of sulfuric acid? johnny, taking some time to answer says: oh god mister, I have it on the tip of my tongue! the teacher, worried, immediately shouts: johnny spit it out!!!! sulfuric acid is very corrosive!!
A student asked a teacher, "What does a pH greater than 7 mean?"
The teacher replied, "It's basic chemistry "
Why did the biology teacher and rhe physics teacher break up?
Because they had no CHEMISTRY.
My middle school chemistry teacher once told us...
"Alcohol is not a solution, it's a distillation" \*smirks\*
My chemistry teacher wrote me a heartfelt chemistry poem:
Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Uranium.
Wet joke
It was chemistry class and the teacher asks-
"Can anyone tell me the chemical formula of water?"
Little Timmy raises hand.
"Yes, Timmy?"
"Hijklmno"
A chemist walks into a pharmacy...
With a pained expression the chemist asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalicylic acid.
The pharmacist looks confused as he asks, "You mean aspirin?"
The chemist, still in pain replies with exasperation, "Yes! I can never remember that word." (Credit to Mr. Wilgus, my high school chemistry teacher 43 years ago.)
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