Chemistry Professor Jokes
21 chemistry professor jokes and hilarious chemistry professor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chemistry professor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chemistry Professor Short Jokes
Short chemistry professor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chemistry professor humour may include short chemistry teacher jokes also.
- How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ? Just ask them to read this word: unionized.
- The chemistry professor says to his students: "There's deadly gas in this bottle. What steps do we take in case it breaks?"
"Fast steps" - My Chemistry Professor told me that Hydrofluoric acid and Hydrochloric acid are the perfect buffer system. Her accusations are baseless.
- My Chem professor said he'd give bonus points for the most original chemistry joke on the final, hit me with your best shot!
- I complimented my chemistry professor, who's from Germany, "Sir, you're so effervescent." He replied, "Did you effer see me when I effer vasn't?"
- A chemistry professor was arguing with his wife. He said, "Now see, If you are not a part of the solution then you are a part of the precipitate.
- A German chemistry student holds up a small vial of HCn. The professor asks him if he's done with the lab.
He says, "Yes, professor, this is my final solution."
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Chemistry Professor One Liners
Which chemistry professor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chemistry professor? I can suggest the ones about physics professor and college professor.
- What do you call a fat chemistry professor? A significant figure.
- TIL that my chemistry professor is a z**... I walked in on him while he was in his lab
- Two quantum mechanics professors had s**... They must have had physical chemistry.
Gather Around for Fun Chemistry Professor Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about chemistry professor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chemistry lab jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chemistry professor pranks.
Students are smart
Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th-grade class
a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms."Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded...
"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor,
so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.
The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.
It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.
"Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Three professors go to the nudist beach
They start reading their newspapers, when suddenly Miss Ridgewell approaches them from the Chemistry Department. The alarmed professors react immediately. Two of them hide their manhood with their newspapers, the third, however, hides his face. They politely salute the lady, who simply passes by to join her friends.
When she's far gone, one of them asks the third professor, "Why did you hide your face?"
To which the third professor replies, "I don't know about you guys, but people usually recognise my face..."
You're not supposed to understand, it's.. (science joke)
A student is in biology lecture when the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's chemistry."
So the student later takes a chemistry lecture and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."
So the student later takes a quantum mechanics course and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."
I need advanced science/research jokes. I have to do stand up in front of dozens of senior research professors. Help!
Through a long series of coincidences, hijinx, and idiocy, I, a sophomore undergraduate, am going to be standing up in front of an entire university's research staff, consisting of PhD's and MD's who will someday probably be grading me, telling jokes at the the winter research symposium. I need jokes on science and research, preferably medicine, pharmacology, biology, and chemistry. I have a couple, but I need a bunch. HALP!
Final Exam
The Final Exam
There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to school until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The
guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.
The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thought this was going to be easy. Then they turned the page. On the second page was written...
For 95 points: Which tire? _________
A chemistry professor is giving his final exam...
... he says on the friday before the final, "If you miss the final you have to have a great excuse for missing the final next monday." Two students decide to study together all weekend so all friday night they study, all saturday morning and night they study, then they study all sunday morning and decide, "We've been studing all that we can study, let's go out and relax for a while." They drive 150 miles to the next town, they get drunk and pass out later sunday night. They woke up late monday morning and realized they missed their test. They drive back and tell the profesor, "We had a flat tire and couldn't get it fix and that is why we are late." The profesor agrees that having a flat tire is a legitimate excuse. He then proceeds to put them in two seperate rooms and hands them the new test they have to retake. First question: (5 points out of 100) What is the chemical compound for sugar? "That's an easy question" the one student says. He goes and answers the question. Second question: (95 points out of 100) Which tire was flat?